Testimonials

Anyhow, Tabatha has sent in three undercover clients to pose as, well, clients. The first thing she notices is that owner Tami is chewing gum like she's Flo "Kiss My Grits" Castleberry on Alice. Lady T calls it "unattractive and unprofessional". I always think of it more along the lines of "heifer-like", myself. I really only excuse it if I'm at a "themed" restaurant like Ed Debevic's, and even then, if the waitress is cracking her gum, it makes me want to punch her in the puss.

Here's one of Lady T's Undercover Angels talking with a stylist about coloring her hair. In a blatant show of hospitality he offers her something to drink... water, coffee, wine, beer? BEER!?!? Okay, The Loft sounds like a much funner place to visit now... probably also more litigation-prone, but, hey, I'm not Tami. The client seems a tad surprised to be offered alcohol as she's about to be worked on (I would find that a tad suspicious, too) and Tabatha is not impressed as she remarks "Cheap wine in plastic glasses is not a good combination!"

...unless you're, like, really into date rape or something...

Another stylist, who is sporting that hideous blonde-over-black-hair look that fairly screams "cheap grainy 4-hour porn compilation" is in the process of applying color to a client's hair, and she gracelessly tilts the bottle and splashes some of the glorp off of the woman's head... Tabatha is horrified at her "throwing color on" like that. "I could give a child a bottle of color and they could slap it on someone's head and probably do a cleaner job!" She is also amazed that this girl is brushing the client's hair while it's both wet and full of color. Yeah, wouldn't that gunk up your brush kinda? Hope she doesn't get anybody with dark hair sitting at her chair, they're likely to end up with unintended highlights...

More gum-chewing by another stylist (*gasp*), and still another is applying bleached blonding to a client whose hair is already frighteningly brittle from overprocessing. This woman is likely to start screaming the first time she brushes her hair after this color-job and finds giant clumps of it breaking off (okay, maybe that was just me... I had really overprocessed and overcolored hair in the 80's). Several other stylists are sitting around with no clients and nothing to do, while Tami putzes around downstairs at the reception desk, her mom's latest loan swirling down the drain and into these people's pockets.

Ugh, and the worst yet (hinted at in the previews) Miss Black'N'Blonde's chair is surrounded by mounds of clippings from a previous client... and yet she has still seated a new client... without sweeping up the old hair. Barf-o-rama!

...ugh, looks like the remains of 'manscaping'...

That's it, Tabatha is through, and she's going to march on over there and kick some lazy butts!

THE TAKEOVER

Marching in, Tami greets Tabatha, who immediately ignores her outstretched hand and commands her to follow upstairs while a royal reaming takes place. When she comes around the corner and halts everyone, Richie recognizes her instantly, and the look on Mr. Mark Gum-Chewer's face instantly tells me who he spends his weekends impersonating...

...something tells me this ain't Mark's first time at the rodeo, neither!...

She gives the same litany as the last five times, and quite honestly that whole "someone may get fired" thing holds no promise of drama for me, because if anybody deserved to get fired it was, well, absolutely everyone from Images Salon two weeks ago, and that didn't happen, so I'm not holding my breath... but Stylist Kelsey sure is worried and seems to think she's gonna get canned. Hell, honey, there are way less skilled people standing within 10 feet of you, simmer down!

The sad thing is that while this whole diatribe is going on, and her staff is being dressed down, Tami's just kind of smiling and giggling about it. Way to take your business seriously there, I hope you enjoy living with your mom and making Top Ramen every night for the next 30 years.

Beginning her Drill Sargeant Duties, she strides right over to Mark and demands that he spit out his gum in her hand! Ewie. I know that sounds terrible coming from me, who has met complete strangers and been involved in some form of oral congress within mere minutes, but there is just something really icky about ABC gum...

...Mark is lucky she didn't swat him a good one on the head right after!...

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Posted in Salon Takeover by J-Mo at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: J-Mo on Oct 6, 2008 08:58 AM.