Mark says "I may never chew gum again." I bet he can still swallow, though. Which is exactly what Tami did with her gum, probably as Tabatha began her anti-gum crusade through The Loft, because suddenly T-girl whirled about and asked her for it, indicating she had seen her chewing it earlier as she was greeting clients. You know that's gonna stay in your tummy for seven years, don't you Tami?

Anyhow, let's look at some of the work these people have done. Focusing in on Melanie (the blonde-over-black pornlet) Tabatha immediately zeroes in on color stains on the client's neck. Melanie doesn't think it looks so bad, and she interviews "It's not like I intentionally mess up people's hair and let them walk out the door and say 'Oh well', you know, 'Too bad!'" No, I'd imagine she gets in a pretty good-sized evil cackle and drops a "Sucka!" while she pockets her tips. This statement alone tells me that Melanie is aware she is screwing people's hair up, and I wonder why that is...

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...ah, well, she may have only 4 months experience in cutting hair, but I'm guessing she's got years under her belt making blowjobfaces...

Tabatha also points out that the girl's hair is unevenly cut on each side of her hair. Melanie bitchily snarls "What am I supposed to do with shorter layers already in the front?" Ah, ah, ah, Melanie, I detected a bit of a white-girl head-bob-and-weave there... don't forget you're an amateur dealing with a pro here, Tabby's likely to come ba- "Cut it to be even! How's that for a concept? Do a precision haircut so it's even!" snaps Tabatha. Sorry, Mel, I tried to warn you. After a few moments of unsuccessfully attempting to stare Tabatha down, Melanie says "Okay."

Now it's Mark's turn to get roasted as Tabatha clocks his scissor-phobia. He admits he's much stronger in coloring than he is in cutting, and is definitely afraid to cut too much hair off. Mark gets a little sassy, too, as he interviews, "I kinda felt like, who are you to walk into a place you know nothing about and start pointing the finger!"

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...Mark, honey, you're lucky all she did with that finger was point...

Now she's moved on to the uneven coloring job performed by worried stylist Kelsey, and Lady T thinks it looked better before she got her hands on it! Kelsey is a crier, and we all know how Tabatha is about tears (set forth in episode #1). Kelsey is embarrassed about being called out in front of a client, and says she's disappointed in herself more than anything...

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...walk it off, Kels!...

"I don't cry." says Tabatha not unkindly, "so tears are not acceptable for me, and they're not acceptable for a client." Amazingly, Kelsey dries right up! Hmmmm, something tells me she's a Chronic Cry-ey Face if she can turn it on and off that quickly, and those kind of employees are the boogers at the end of your business's finger... you can flick as hard as you want to, and they still hang on (sometimes until you go and get the Kleenex of a Restraining Order).

THE INSPECTION

Lady T now commands Tami to give her the tour of the joint. Before they even get started, Tabatha is noticing the giant colony of cobwebs and dust covering their fake plants. Tami just giggles. Next up, Tami says "And here are our messy sinks!" They sure are messy, as they're clogged with hair, and there is color splattered all over the place. The cabinet where they keep their tubes of color is also a huge splotchety box of crappo. Tami just giggles some more and completely agrees with Tabatha that it's a nightmare. "Tami clearly knows it's a mess in here, and yet she does absolutely nothing! What the hell?!??!"

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...I guess The Loft is where you can get your hair dyed "Blonetteā„¢"...

There is even has a manicure area (four stations, all empty) where the sink is coated in chemicals and dead skin cells. Tabatha says she is absolutely "gobsmacked" by how filthy the place is. I love that word! Tami interviews that she knows it's not clean enough and admits that she doesn't stay until midnight every night cleaning because she's tired. Tabatha has seen enough and declares a 10:00am staff meeting the next day, where she's going to give her opinions... "And I will be honest with you... and sometimes you won't like it!" Well, that's what we live for, Tabby!

Salon Takeover With Tabatha: How To Fail In Business By Not Really Trying Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10 

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Comments (5)

jazzee:

J-Mo, your recap was hilarious. Being a LB resident, I was anxious to see this episode. I was kind of disappointed tho when Tabby took Tami on her little field trip, they didn't do some marketing at the very nearby The Lubery (yes, it's exactly what you think it is). A bridal shop? how boujois. ha ha

yentapatrol:

J-Mo Darling,

I love you doing 2 recaps a week--"It's raining J-Mo, Hallelujah!!!..."

I even have my stylist reading your recaps. You should hear him chime in with you and Tabitha.

Hugs,
Yenta

arizonatom:

J-Mo;

I agree, 80's hair was SO horrible! I just bet you had a mullet back then, didn't you? C'mon, fess up!

The terms "oral congress" and "splotchety box" should NEVER be used in the same recap! I'm just sayin'.

FUCOWs was hilarious! We've al worked with them and it sux!

Save the Skechers!!

Great recap - keep 'em coming!!

Lots O' Love

fire@will:

As always - awesome.

It was nice to have an owner who seemed to appreciate the help and make meaningful changes.

Unlike some episodes, I feel this salon will continue to improve over time.

Thanks!

J-Mo:

jazzee... LOL, I thought that "The Lubery" was how "The Library" was pronounced, but it sounds like a great store! Thanks for the tip and the kind compliments...

yentapatrol... hey thanks, but be sure to tell your stylist I don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about when it comes to hairdressing, I just like to yap a lot...

arizonatom... yes, I did have a gay mullet (a gaylet?) but mine was more Duran Duran as opposed to the white-trash kind...

fire@will... thank you again, and I agree with you, I think that Tami discovered that her addiction to eating was worth fostering, and I do like a nice heartwarming story coming from these salons from time to time...

Thanks for the comments, you guys are awesome!

love, J-Mo :)

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