Ummmm, well, it's better than her "fifty-million color" job from before, but it just looks like a big brown football helmet to me. Looking at Cry-ey Kelsey's model, Lady T says her coloring job was great! Kelsey smiles real big, but I still think she's gonna cry again. Moving on to Markoan Crawford, he's actually cut some hair off his client!! But not quite enough... so Tabatha is going to help him finish it off, because his client is in a rock band, and she needs Lady T to make her more rockin'!
Shyly, Markoan Crawford cuts his eyes away from her brilliance in action and says "Can you stay?" Awww, how sweet! Now all of the stylists are gathering to watch her work on this young woman, as Tabatha says that at the end of the day she can barely walk because she's given a piece of herself to each and every client she's worked on... I would have said that her fatigue was because it takes so much energy to be so bitchy all the time, but po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe...
She's continuing in this vein with, "They get my heart, because it's what I love to do... so every client, it's all about them... I honestly feel it... it comes from in here *gestures to vagina* with me..." As her words become more halting, she stops and flaps a hand at her eyes...
...OMG, is she actually misting up?...
HA! I toldja! No tear ducts. She says "I'm not gonna cry... I'm joking... I'm joking!" The staff all crack up ('cept for Cry-ey Kelsey, who was getting wet-eyed in sympathy, and is now bitterly disappointed at not really having a weepy-sister in the house).
MARKETING MATTERS
Now Lady T and Tami are going for a stroll around the neighborhood to talk about how best to market The Loft... they pass by another salon, and Tabatha points it out to her and says "That's not competition to me, because you should be the best salon in the area!" Well, it's rather easy to see why this poor little salon isn't really competition for The Loft... I mean, look at it!...
...as if the gaudy neon and the twirling barber-pole wasn't enough to set it apart...
She stops by a coffee shop and a bridal shop and suggests that Tami go in and introduce herself and see if she can't get some cross-promotional business. Duh, especially for the bridal shop. Of course, the owner of the bridal shop is thrilled with this innovative and original idea to use The Loft for bridal packages of hairstyling... plus they can get snockered there and maybe puke cheap wine on their wedding dress! Everybody wins!
THE REOPENING
Of course, Tabatha has worked her magic (i.e., a team of unsung and uncredited designers, painters, carpenters, drywallers, electricians, plumbers and sundry gays have worked it for her) and transformed The Loft into a brand new sizzling hotbed of hair-ography! Of course, upon viewing the new salon, Markoan Crawford gays out all over the place...
...jeez, looking like she just saw Mr. Rat on her lunch tray!...
Of course there is a chorus of "Oh My GAWD!"s and "Ho Lee SHIT!"s as the return to... a new wood floor. Big whoop. They could have "transformed" The Loft almost as much by just running a hot mop over that floor, the sparkle alone would have blinded everyone in Long Beach...
Tabatha also deemed the "manicure area" to be useless and says that "it wasn't making any money!" So she changed it into a lounge for the clients to lay around and read magazines in... still not making any money...
...unless someone were to start a forgery press in here...
...but, eh, it looks nicer and it's better than having people wait around standing up. Okay, the salon really does look fabulous, if a bit sterile, but I'm sure after a new layer of spiderwebs and hair-balls and dust builds up, it'll have more of a "lived-in" feel to it. Richie says they were working in "a dungeon-hole" for a while, so it was nice to see some color and some warmth... although I'd be willing to bet that Richie-boy has seen a "dungeon-hole" or two in his lifetime... by choice. *wink*
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Comments (5)
J-Mo, your recap was hilarious. Being a LB resident, I was anxious to see this episode. I was kind of disappointed tho when Tabby took Tami on her little field trip, they didn't do some marketing at the very nearby The Lubery (yes, it's exactly what you think it is). A bridal shop? how boujois. ha ha
1 of 5 | Posted by jazzee | Posted on October 2, 2008 11:34 AM
J-Mo Darling,
I love you doing 2 recaps a week--"It's raining J-Mo, Hallelujah!!!..."
I even have my stylist reading your recaps. You should hear him chime in with you and Tabitha.
Hugs,
Yenta
2 of 5 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 2, 2008 1:19 PM
J-Mo;
I agree, 80's hair was SO horrible! I just bet you had a mullet back then, didn't you? C'mon, fess up!
The terms "oral congress" and "splotchety box" should NEVER be used in the same recap! I'm just sayin'.
FUCOWs was hilarious! We've al worked with them and it sux!
Save the Skechers!!
Great recap - keep 'em coming!!
Lots O' Love
3 of 5 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 4, 2008 8:39 AM
As always - awesome.
It was nice to have an owner who seemed to appreciate the help and make meaningful changes.
Unlike some episodes, I feel this salon will continue to improve over time.
Thanks!
4 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 4, 2008 8:51 AM
jazzee... LOL, I thought that "The Lubery" was how "The Library" was pronounced, but it sounds like a great store! Thanks for the tip and the kind compliments...
yentapatrol... hey thanks, but be sure to tell your stylist I don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about when it comes to hairdressing, I just like to yap a lot...
arizonatom... yes, I did have a gay mullet (a gaylet?) but mine was more Duran Duran as opposed to the white-trash kind...
fire@will... thank you again, and I agree with you, I think that Tami discovered that her addiction to eating was worth fostering, and I do like a nice heartwarming story coming from these salons from time to time...
Thanks for the comments, you guys are awesome!
love, J-Mo :)
5 of 5 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 6, 2008 8:58 AM