Anyhow, Tabatha says the first thing she needs to do is to stop crying. We all know how irritated Lady T gets with criers... her patience is going to be sorely tested this entire episode. Now it's time to watch the "hidden camera-crew" footage of Candolyn's amazing Little Shop 'O Burglars in action...
Here's a hefty male stylist telling his client as she pays up that he's not going to charge her for the coloring he did on her today... and at first I thought, well, maybe he royally fucked it up and so he's comping her because she complained (cuz her hair looks like dry wheat and twice as flammable) but then he goes on to say "That was my treat for you!" Candolyn goes into shock...
...girl, why not just turn over your wallet to them?...
"It was 'on him' today," smirks Tabatha, "which means actually it was on you... because it's not on him! That is stealing, right there!" Tabatha interviews that she is totally shocked that Candolyn wasn't exaggerating about the thefts... I have to say I kind of agree with her, giving away an entire highlighting job isn't like adding a couple of extra McNuggets to somebody's six-piece, y'know? Besides, whenever I did that, they were always expired McNuggets that I was gonna have to throw away (or eat) anyhow, so I was saving a little dumpster volume. Quit looking at me like that, it's not the same thing. At all.
Moving on, here's a young latina stylist who has landed a waif-like Asian client in her chair. She says she's gonna go get a couple of magazines so they can look through them and talk about what kind of cut she wants. This girl has some Fucked. Up. Hair...
...bitch looks exactly like Jane Lane, besties with Daria on MTV circa 1993...
Granted, the girl is a hot mess... but what happens next shocked even me, and surprisingly I'm normally not one to shy away from talking shit about people... as the bitch stylist goes to get her magazines she stops by the front desk just long enough to whisper...
...do you also love how Blondie is on the Salon phone, and Janice is yapping away on her celly?...
...and they all laugh. Candolyn is horrified, and Tabatha needlessly points out that this girl has a "below-par" level of professionalism. Duh. I'd say the bug-eyed bitch is in no position to critique anybody else's looks, but I don't wanna be unkind, so I'll just call her Toad-Face from here on out.
Hey, here's El Gordo Chubbo stylist again, and he's working on a client whose hair is full of coloring goo. You know how we can tell? Because he's managed to glop it all over her forehead, that's how! He's also gently taking a fine-toothed comb, and is yanking it through her hair while it's wet and full of the coloring agent. Her head is being jerked backwards repeatedly by his feather-touch ministrations, and she looks like she's ready to cry from the repeated jabbing pains of his attempting to scalp her...
...Hey Chubbsy-Sister, I don't care if you have eyebrow piercings and neck tattoos, this girl looks like she could cut you faster than you could say "¿Que?"...
Lady T says she can't watch it because she knows that is hurting this poor girl, and Candolyn says she is mortified! Tabatha says any good stylist would know not to do that. Ooooh, I'm seeing a serious butt-ramming coming your way Chubbsy, and this ain't gonna be the kind where you get dinner and drinks first...
Hey, here's Toad-Face again, she's doing a coloring job on a woman, and I'm not sure why, but she's undone one of her foils over the woman's face, walked away and left it there...
...I can almost hear her hair sizzling through my TV!...
Candolyn says she's getting pissed now... and even better still, the camera zooms in on what appears to be a pair of water-glasses that have been stored just above floor level... they have a nice patch of hair-clippings growing around their edges...
...I've never seen wine-glasses that needed a shave before...
"That is ab-so-lute-ly disgusting!" spits Tabatha. Looks like the staff are so busy talking shit about their customers and giving away free color-jobs that the cleaning has been a tad lax. Candolyn says the staff shouldn't "poop where they live". Lady T has seen enough and demands the keys to Candy's shop... "Good luck!" says Candolyn. "Oh, believe me, I don't need luck!" sneers Tabatha as she hits the warpath, ready to begin...
THE TAKEOVER
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Comments (8)
ooh first comment? hurrah!
j-mo, i love you. this woman sounds like a complete nutjob.
the screengrab of suede getting poo thrown at him? peed in my pants laughing.
ramsey returns to tv a week from tomorrow, so that's when i return to recapping!!!
xoxox hope your trip was fun!!
1 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 22, 2008 10:50 AM
At last I saw one of these!!!
Tabatha decides to play along, "Is she not listening? Obviously?" Too funny Tabby!
And when I say I watched it, you know, it was on in the backround and I kept hearing her say to stop crying. Overall it's a good show, but a bit predictable, but then, I'm getting it mostly from your wonderful recaps, which are orderly to the tee! (what does that mean anyway, I so often use those expressions and don't know . . . thank god I'm not on a reality show . . .
HEART J-mo!!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 22, 2008 5:05 PM
OMG That woman was INSANE. J-Mo, I adore your recaps; I was at work whilst reading this and literally bust out laughing at the Pleather-Poo circle.
That little bitch Janice would have been fired the first day she fucked up if she worked where I was her boss. And Candolyn is crazy. No group of people calls you a liar for no reason and then she goes nuts talking about how "it's the button to push"?
That lady is *coo coo* but makes for excellent tv.
AuJew, what show are you recapping next week? Is Hell's Kitchen coming back?
3 of 8 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on October 22, 2008 6:54 PM
AuJew recaps Kitchen Nightmares. The next new episode is this Thursday. Fox has been screwy delaying it for several weeks due to the VP debate, a major league baseball game, for some reason they ran a repeat one week.
Hell's Kitchen season five has already been filmed they are doing the casting for season six this month.
4 of 8 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:45 AM
J-Mo;
Awes, as usual!
Expired McNuggets are just too funny! You can certainly keep that in your J-Mo-ism, even if you can't have politics.
That mural may not have worked or belonged in there, but I thought it was a pretty good representation of a tromp l'oeil just the same.
The Granny-Poo surrounding Suede was a hoot. I bet he was thinking "Suede doesn't find that funny"!
I just loved it when TabbyKat was ripping CandyLand about letting the staff run all over her. I would have had to say the same. Testify!
That awful green-y yellow-y paint as an accent wall? Aren't accent walls like SO 15 years ago?
I agree that there should have been at least one on-screen firing, or else Tab shouldn't have mentioned it each week. I thought for sure there would be one or more in there somewhere, but I was sadly disappointed. While I feel bad when people lose their jobs through no fault of their own, I have no sympathy for those who just can't (or won't) do their jobs - especially when it doesn't involve rocket surgery (LOVED that!). Just sayin'.
I'll miss Tabby - hopefully there will be a second season.
C U on Top Design!
Lots O' Love.
5 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 23, 2008 9:09 PM
yeschef, it totally makes me smile that you know all that :o)
6 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:39 AM
I will miss this show and your recaps. I've always wondered if there were really people out there who behaved like this and apparently there are. I do think there should have been at least ONE firing, but probably several. Ah well, here's hoping for next season.
7 of 8 | Posted by Y3KPhenom | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:04 PM
I was so pissed for missing the season finale.
LOL come on now - they should have fired that chick Janice on the spot not give her probation. That is like giving OJ a 3rd chance!
I can't believe there are really REAL airheads in the world and she not even a blonde (maybe a former blonde) but not saying all blonde are airheads just some of them tend to be!!
Shoot as a Deaf consumer - I am about customer service is a must in order to make that money and get new business!
DAMN DAMN DAMN!
I hope Queen T comes back for a season 2 and come to the hood - because some of these salons/barbershop in GEORGIA especially in the Atlanta metro area could use her help!
8 of 8 | Posted by getdeafopinion | Posted on November 10, 2008 11:26 AM