The staff mysteriously have no clients and are just sitting around. "Well, looks like a little party over here, doesn't it?" says T-girl as she beckons for the staff to meet their doom. This time when she lays the line about "some of you may no longer work here when I'm through!" on them, Toad-Face (whose real name is Wendy) says Tabatha was looking right at her, and she's crapping her pants! She should be, because her anus is first up for Lady T's cactus-like reaming...
"Wendy... it is very clear to me that you don't know what you're doing with color!" Toad-Face tries a half-hearted rebuttal, but gets no further than...
...who's laughing now? I am, that's who!...
Moving along, Tabatha zeroes in on Miss Receptionista... "I called and I was hung up on!" she seethes. How does Miss Janice respond to this? "We have problems with our telephones so I, um, thought that-" "So it's the telephone's fault?" Lady T cuts her off. Jan-Jan gets all saucy, "I'm not saying it's the telephone's fault." Um, yeah, except that's pretty much exactly what you did say Ma Bell... although I suspect the "problem" with their telephones would be easily visible if Janice looked in a mirror.
Time for Chubbsy Chris to bend over as Tabatha berates him for combing through the client's hair while it was full of color and hurting her, and Candolyn points out how he left the giant glob of coloring on the girl's forehead. Chris gets all sassy-queen on them and starts talking over Tabatha as he insists he wiped that off right away (video evidence says otherwise) and that he wasn't hurting her. Lady T disagrees vehemently, "The girl's head was being yanked back like this ((**demonstrates**)) and you could see her flinching in pain!"
Chubbsy's not having it! "Don't rip me for maybe doing one or two things unprofessional when also everybody else in here does... even the boss!" Oooooh, you're making friends all over the place, Chrissy-poo! Way to attempt to stab everybody else in the back all at once! Somebody's having personal problems...
...bitch is hongry...
Lady T has been trying to get his attention through his entire harangue, and finally grabs it... "Excuse me, you have no right to speak to your owner in the tone and the manner that you're speaking to her in! I am not Candolyn, and you can not walk all over me... I won't accept it!" *snap* *snap* *snap*
"Tabatha pissed me off big time today!" interviews Chubbsy Chris, "Looking at maybe one or two things we've done wrong and then ripping us apart as hairstylists... you know, I don't find that fair." Yeah, except y'know Chubbsy, I'd like to hear your banker or your doctor or your airline pilot use that excuse if they were to mischarge you, or leave a scalpel in you, or forget to put the landing gear down... it's like saying "Yeah, I know I fuck up, but I'm still awesome!" Honeychile, the only person who gets away with saying that consistently is the President*... oh, and Britney Spears...
*and by "President" I am not referring to anyone in particular, this is simply a generalization, J-mo-ism does not allow mixing of actual politics and hair-styling...
Anyhow, Lady T dismisses the staff with a stern warning not to be late to the next day's 9:00am staff meeting (Janice The Receptionista gives her dagger-eyes on her way out) and prepares to start...
THE INSPECTION
The first thing Tabatha notices is that half of the salon space is dedicated to selling 76,402 different items that don't have anything to do with hair-styling. I know salons are supposed to push retail, but this is ridonk. Gesturing at the numerous shelves and displays of trinkets, bangles, baubles and tchotchkes, Tabatha is aghast, "This says '99-cent store'!" Privately Lady T says "The list is actually endless of the shit that she sells... and believe me... it's all shit!"...
...I dunno, I betcha Mrs. Roper would have loved all this stuff...
Candolyn insists that it's the retail area that is actually paying the rent! Holy Ho-cessories, Batman! It is downtown L.A., so I imagine they get some of the Ho-Stroll luminaries in there... Then Candolyn blurts out "No, it doesn't, why am I lying?" I don't know CandyLand, maybe because Delusion is your oxygen?
Moving along, the back wall of the salon has a giant painted mural of a seascape with big puffy clouds and a Venus-esque statue...
...Days In Rodanthe?...
Turns out Candolyn painted it herself! Personally, I don't think it's too horrible, but Tabatha disagrees and says it's something you'd see "in a bad pizza parlor"... wellll, it is kind of on the Tack-O-Rama side...
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Comments (8)
ooh first comment? hurrah!
j-mo, i love you. this woman sounds like a complete nutjob.
the screengrab of suede getting poo thrown at him? peed in my pants laughing.
ramsey returns to tv a week from tomorrow, so that's when i return to recapping!!!
xoxox hope your trip was fun!!
1 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 22, 2008 10:50 AM
At last I saw one of these!!!
Tabatha decides to play along, "Is she not listening? Obviously?" Too funny Tabby!
And when I say I watched it, you know, it was on in the backround and I kept hearing her say to stop crying. Overall it's a good show, but a bit predictable, but then, I'm getting it mostly from your wonderful recaps, which are orderly to the tee! (what does that mean anyway, I so often use those expressions and don't know . . . thank god I'm not on a reality show . . .
HEART J-mo!!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 22, 2008 5:05 PM
OMG That woman was INSANE. J-Mo, I adore your recaps; I was at work whilst reading this and literally bust out laughing at the Pleather-Poo circle.
That little bitch Janice would have been fired the first day she fucked up if she worked where I was her boss. And Candolyn is crazy. No group of people calls you a liar for no reason and then she goes nuts talking about how "it's the button to push"?
That lady is *coo coo* but makes for excellent tv.
AuJew, what show are you recapping next week? Is Hell's Kitchen coming back?
3 of 8 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on October 22, 2008 6:54 PM
AuJew recaps Kitchen Nightmares. The next new episode is this Thursday. Fox has been screwy delaying it for several weeks due to the VP debate, a major league baseball game, for some reason they ran a repeat one week.
Hell's Kitchen season five has already been filmed they are doing the casting for season six this month.
4 of 8 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:45 AM
J-Mo;
Awes, as usual!
Expired McNuggets are just too funny! You can certainly keep that in your J-Mo-ism, even if you can't have politics.
That mural may not have worked or belonged in there, but I thought it was a pretty good representation of a tromp l'oeil just the same.
The Granny-Poo surrounding Suede was a hoot. I bet he was thinking "Suede doesn't find that funny"!
I just loved it when TabbyKat was ripping CandyLand about letting the staff run all over her. I would have had to say the same. Testify!
That awful green-y yellow-y paint as an accent wall? Aren't accent walls like SO 15 years ago?
I agree that there should have been at least one on-screen firing, or else Tab shouldn't have mentioned it each week. I thought for sure there would be one or more in there somewhere, but I was sadly disappointed. While I feel bad when people lose their jobs through no fault of their own, I have no sympathy for those who just can't (or won't) do their jobs - especially when it doesn't involve rocket surgery (LOVED that!). Just sayin'.
I'll miss Tabby - hopefully there will be a second season.
C U on Top Design!
Lots O' Love.
5 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 23, 2008 9:09 PM
yeschef, it totally makes me smile that you know all that :o)
6 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:39 AM
I will miss this show and your recaps. I've always wondered if there were really people out there who behaved like this and apparently there are. I do think there should have been at least ONE firing, but probably several. Ah well, here's hoping for next season.
7 of 8 | Posted by Y3KPhenom | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:04 PM
I was so pissed for missing the season finale.
LOL come on now - they should have fired that chick Janice on the spot not give her probation. That is like giving OJ a 3rd chance!
I can't believe there are really REAL airheads in the world and she not even a blonde (maybe a former blonde) but not saying all blonde are airheads just some of them tend to be!!
Shoot as a Deaf consumer - I am about customer service is a must in order to make that money and get new business!
DAMN DAMN DAMN!
I hope Queen T comes back for a season 2 and come to the hood - because some of these salons/barbershop in GEORGIA especially in the Atlanta metro area could use her help!
8 of 8 | Posted by getdeafopinion | Posted on November 10, 2008 11:26 AM