The fridge is super-dirty (gawd, it looks like my fridge, which is frightening enough) and someone has put one of those cooling eye-masks in the veggie crisper...
...I bet it smells like onions and spoiled milk...
Turns out it belongs to the "facialist" and is actually used on clients! Ew! It has vegetable matter and other unknown detritus clinging to it! Tabatha says if someone brought her that mask she'd throttle them! No court would convict her, either.
The worst part is yet to come. While looking through an upper cupboard, Tabatha spies a bunch of open boxes of tea... and fruit-flies? No, there aren't a bunch of fag-hags stuffed into the cupboard, these are actual insectile fruit-flies... what the...?
...one of the stylists is bulimic?...
Candolyn and Tabatha gasp in unison as TabbyKat pulls out a squishy bag filled with rotting cherries and horrified beyond belief drops it into the sink below!!!
...please excuse me while I hurl everything I've ever eaten...
Honestly, that is so gross, I can't even believe that no one either a) remembered they put them there, or b) threw them out when they did remember... Nas-TEE! Tabatha has been pushed to the edge of her sanity! "That's not been there a couple of days!" she shouts. "Who in the world put that up there?" wonders Candolyn. Tabatha is nearly screaming, "I don't know, but it's your salon and there are flies all over this salon! Take a look! There are actually little maggot-type things crawling all over them! I've never been in a salon that makes me want to throw up! I've got to go, because I will throw up!" and with that she leaves! I don't blame her, that was seriously the most disgusting thing they've shown all season... hopefully things are going to be a tad less vomitous during the...
STAFF MEETING
Tabatha says that the picture Candolyn painted of her staff was pretty grim, and now she's gonna make up her own mind. I'm guessing things are about to get even grimmer...
Asking the staff what the problems are brings the usual litany of problems, Candolyn sets rules but doesn't enforce them, there's no respect between her and the staff. Chubbsy Chris says that the Candolyn is moody. Blondie stylist Sheri goes as far as to use the C-word to describe her...
..."Bitch is crazy!"...
Sheri (and her overly-sane nose-ring) goes even further as she says she's pretty much just waiting for Candolyn to have a nervous breakdown. Tabatha interviews that she's "gobsmacked" by these serious accusations, and asks for examples. Blondie Sheri says Candolyn will lie about just about anything under the sun, and Chubbsy Chris chimes in that a Candolyn will claim to have done highlighting and color-work on clients that was actually done by another senior stylist (named Shushan). You will note that no one is attempting to claim Chris' color-work as their own...
It actually gets scarier... Sheri says CandyLand was gonna bring in a tape-recorder and tape everything that she said to the stylists. Tabatha looks puzzled until it is explained by Shushan that the reason for her wanting to have recordings of her conversations is to prevent the staff from coming back later and accusing her of lying. That is some seriously unbalanced shit. I hope Candolyn doesn't have a gun.
Lady T tells them if Candolyn is being so inconsistent that they need to be adults and take responsibility instead of trying to blame Candolyn for everything. Well, she's sorta right, you really can't blame crazy people for being crazy, they're just marching to the beat of an insane drummer is all...
"So, I have another question for you... who eats cherries at work?" Carefully blank looks emanate from everyone. After no one speaks, Tabatha directs Chubbsy Chris to go over and uncover the sink where the CherryMushMaggots are now living, and when everyone gets a good look at the putrescence, they all get totally grossed out and puke all over everything. It looks like that scene from "Stand By Me" only instead of blueberry pie we get to see a bunch of used McMuffins and Sourdough Breakfast Jacks being spewed everywhere. Okay, I'm kidding, they didn't, but that would have been kinda funny. And gross. Still, even after viewing the evidence, no one is willing to own up to Cherryliciousness... although some of their faces are telling a different story...
...look guilty much, Janice?...
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Comments (8)
ooh first comment? hurrah!
j-mo, i love you. this woman sounds like a complete nutjob.
the screengrab of suede getting poo thrown at him? peed in my pants laughing.
ramsey returns to tv a week from tomorrow, so that's when i return to recapping!!!
xoxox hope your trip was fun!!
1 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 22, 2008 10:50 AM
At last I saw one of these!!!
Tabatha decides to play along, "Is she not listening? Obviously?" Too funny Tabby!
And when I say I watched it, you know, it was on in the backround and I kept hearing her say to stop crying. Overall it's a good show, but a bit predictable, but then, I'm getting it mostly from your wonderful recaps, which are orderly to the tee! (what does that mean anyway, I so often use those expressions and don't know . . . thank god I'm not on a reality show . . .
HEART J-mo!!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 22, 2008 5:05 PM
OMG That woman was INSANE. J-Mo, I adore your recaps; I was at work whilst reading this and literally bust out laughing at the Pleather-Poo circle.
That little bitch Janice would have been fired the first day she fucked up if she worked where I was her boss. And Candolyn is crazy. No group of people calls you a liar for no reason and then she goes nuts talking about how "it's the button to push"?
That lady is *coo coo* but makes for excellent tv.
AuJew, what show are you recapping next week? Is Hell's Kitchen coming back?
3 of 8 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on October 22, 2008 6:54 PM
AuJew recaps Kitchen Nightmares. The next new episode is this Thursday. Fox has been screwy delaying it for several weeks due to the VP debate, a major league baseball game, for some reason they ran a repeat one week.
Hell's Kitchen season five has already been filmed they are doing the casting for season six this month.
4 of 8 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:45 AM
J-Mo;
Awes, as usual!
Expired McNuggets are just too funny! You can certainly keep that in your J-Mo-ism, even if you can't have politics.
That mural may not have worked or belonged in there, but I thought it was a pretty good representation of a tromp l'oeil just the same.
The Granny-Poo surrounding Suede was a hoot. I bet he was thinking "Suede doesn't find that funny"!
I just loved it when TabbyKat was ripping CandyLand about letting the staff run all over her. I would have had to say the same. Testify!
That awful green-y yellow-y paint as an accent wall? Aren't accent walls like SO 15 years ago?
I agree that there should have been at least one on-screen firing, or else Tab shouldn't have mentioned it each week. I thought for sure there would be one or more in there somewhere, but I was sadly disappointed. While I feel bad when people lose their jobs through no fault of their own, I have no sympathy for those who just can't (or won't) do their jobs - especially when it doesn't involve rocket surgery (LOVED that!). Just sayin'.
I'll miss Tabby - hopefully there will be a second season.
C U on Top Design!
Lots O' Love.
5 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 23, 2008 9:09 PM
yeschef, it totally makes me smile that you know all that :o)
6 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:39 AM
I will miss this show and your recaps. I've always wondered if there were really people out there who behaved like this and apparently there are. I do think there should have been at least ONE firing, but probably several. Ah well, here's hoping for next season.
7 of 8 | Posted by Y3KPhenom | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:04 PM
I was so pissed for missing the season finale.
LOL come on now - they should have fired that chick Janice on the spot not give her probation. That is like giving OJ a 3rd chance!
I can't believe there are really REAL airheads in the world and she not even a blonde (maybe a former blonde) but not saying all blonde are airheads just some of them tend to be!!
Shoot as a Deaf consumer - I am about customer service is a must in order to make that money and get new business!
DAMN DAMN DAMN!
I hope Queen T comes back for a season 2 and come to the hood - because some of these salons/barbershop in GEORGIA especially in the Atlanta metro area could use her help!
8 of 8 | Posted by getdeafopinion | Posted on November 10, 2008 11:26 AM