Then Toad-Face insists that none of the staff ever brings in fruit, but that Candolyn does! Interesting. The sad thing is, crazy people can be quite forgetful, too, so it's hard to say with certainty that the offensive fruit absolutely did not belong to her. I'm still voting for Janice, though... Oh well, it's time for Tabatha to begin...
THE ASSESSMENT
Candolyn joins them for this part, and Tabatha takes her aside and tells her that the staff think CherryGate was her fault. She quickly insists "No, they were not my cherries, I'll go on a lie-detector for that..." I dunno how that would really prove anything, crazy people tend to completely believe in their twisted perceptions of the world, which would mean she'd pass with flying colors. She'd just as likely register as "not lying" if you asked her to describe how many voices were in her head telling her to get all Stabby McNutzoid on these people... *sigh*
Oh well, let's see how the skillz of these people stack up. Toad-Face is telling her client that she will go in and work with her natural brown color and blend it in to two different blondes. The trouble is, the celebrity photo the woman is holding is a brunette, so I don't know where Toady is getting blonde from. Lady T stops her cold and says that she keeps talking about using her client's natural brown hair color, and the client speaks up (now that she has a chance) and says she is not a fan of her natural color at all.
..."Why don't you just suggest that you'll rub some cowshit into her hair, too?"...
Nice listening skills, Toady! She is forced to admit that she wasn't really giving the client the opportunity to tell her vital bits of information, such as, the whole reason the woman wants her hair colored is because she doesn't like the color it is now. How surprising!
Totally not surprising is that Toad-Face is pissed off by this, "This bitch! Just get off me, like, leave me alone!" Well, quit fucking up and she will, Miss DoucheyPants!
Miss Candolyn has her own client, and she's got some very definite ideas about what she wants done. CandyLand's consultation is quite confusing, as she tells the woman that with her skin tone it won't look very good if they put in too much red, but then turns around and says she wants to put several different tones of red in it. WTF? Tabatha nails her to the wall with this, and poor Candolyn is just plain flummoxed. "I'm usually much better than that, I swear!" Tabatha stares at her icily, "Excuses!" she spits, and walks away... and Candolyn destroys any shred of credibility she has with the client as she looks at her apologetically and says "I'm not on my game." Great! Color away!
Let's see what's going on with Toad-Face's client... oooh, foil bleeds and streaking everywhere! As Tabatha is pointing these out to her, Toady starts crying and completely loses her composure.... so much so that even her client can't resist watching the train-wreck that is her face...
...Wow, poor Geena Davis really is desperate for TV work!...
Awww, Geena, if you had only come out with "Commander In Chief" this year, it prolly woulda been a hit. Anyhow, Lady T recognizes that Toad-Face just needs some more education so she doesn't suck so much. I think a G.E.D. would be a good start...
How'd things go with Candolyn's client? Welllll, not so good, the client had specifically told Candoleeza that she didn't want really choppy bangs, but look what happened anyhow...
...yeah, a Chinese boy who is really sleepy and does drag...
Of course, Candolyn starts to cry when Tabatha gets her to admit she doesn't like these choppy boy-bangs she gave this woman. Lady T is having a hard time getting anything through the haze of tears, "Focus on me, I'm trying to tell you something important... stop being complacent... and stop crying!" CandyCraze says "I know, I don't know why, I never cryyyyy!" she wails...
...Smack her, Tabs! Just smack her!...
CandyLand is getting ready to set sail for WackoBurg as she says, "Tabatha wants me to stop crying, and honestly?... Candolyn wants to stop crying! Candolyn normally doesn't cry!" I see. Does Candolyn normally refer to herself in the third person? Suede, you bastard, this shit is like an epidemic now, and I blame you, you Smurf-stained, dead-relative-annoying, talent-free hack! J-Mo hates you forever and ever, and J-Mo is tired of every Tom, Dick and Candolyn referring to themselves this way...
...Compliments of J-Mo's dead grandmother...
« Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency: Freaktastic! | Main | Real World Road Rules Challenge: Here We Go Again! »
Comments (8)
ooh first comment? hurrah!
j-mo, i love you. this woman sounds like a complete nutjob.
the screengrab of suede getting poo thrown at him? peed in my pants laughing.
ramsey returns to tv a week from tomorrow, so that's when i return to recapping!!!
xoxox hope your trip was fun!!
1 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 22, 2008 10:50 AM
At last I saw one of these!!!
Tabatha decides to play along, "Is she not listening? Obviously?" Too funny Tabby!
And when I say I watched it, you know, it was on in the backround and I kept hearing her say to stop crying. Overall it's a good show, but a bit predictable, but then, I'm getting it mostly from your wonderful recaps, which are orderly to the tee! (what does that mean anyway, I so often use those expressions and don't know . . . thank god I'm not on a reality show . . .
HEART J-mo!!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 22, 2008 5:05 PM
OMG That woman was INSANE. J-Mo, I adore your recaps; I was at work whilst reading this and literally bust out laughing at the Pleather-Poo circle.
That little bitch Janice would have been fired the first day she fucked up if she worked where I was her boss. And Candolyn is crazy. No group of people calls you a liar for no reason and then she goes nuts talking about how "it's the button to push"?
That lady is *coo coo* but makes for excellent tv.
AuJew, what show are you recapping next week? Is Hell's Kitchen coming back?
3 of 8 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on October 22, 2008 6:54 PM
AuJew recaps Kitchen Nightmares. The next new episode is this Thursday. Fox has been screwy delaying it for several weeks due to the VP debate, a major league baseball game, for some reason they ran a repeat one week.
Hell's Kitchen season five has already been filmed they are doing the casting for season six this month.
4 of 8 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 23, 2008 8:45 AM
J-Mo;
Awes, as usual!
Expired McNuggets are just too funny! You can certainly keep that in your J-Mo-ism, even if you can't have politics.
That mural may not have worked or belonged in there, but I thought it was a pretty good representation of a tromp l'oeil just the same.
The Granny-Poo surrounding Suede was a hoot. I bet he was thinking "Suede doesn't find that funny"!
I just loved it when TabbyKat was ripping CandyLand about letting the staff run all over her. I would have had to say the same. Testify!
That awful green-y yellow-y paint as an accent wall? Aren't accent walls like SO 15 years ago?
I agree that there should have been at least one on-screen firing, or else Tab shouldn't have mentioned it each week. I thought for sure there would be one or more in there somewhere, but I was sadly disappointed. While I feel bad when people lose their jobs through no fault of their own, I have no sympathy for those who just can't (or won't) do their jobs - especially when it doesn't involve rocket surgery (LOVED that!). Just sayin'.
I'll miss Tabby - hopefully there will be a second season.
C U on Top Design!
Lots O' Love.
5 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 23, 2008 9:09 PM
yeschef, it totally makes me smile that you know all that :o)
6 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:39 AM
I will miss this show and your recaps. I've always wondered if there were really people out there who behaved like this and apparently there are. I do think there should have been at least ONE firing, but probably several. Ah well, here's hoping for next season.
7 of 8 | Posted by Y3KPhenom | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:04 PM
I was so pissed for missing the season finale.
LOL come on now - they should have fired that chick Janice on the spot not give her probation. That is like giving OJ a 3rd chance!
I can't believe there are really REAL airheads in the world and she not even a blonde (maybe a former blonde) but not saying all blonde are airheads just some of them tend to be!!
Shoot as a Deaf consumer - I am about customer service is a must in order to make that money and get new business!
DAMN DAMN DAMN!
I hope Queen T comes back for a season 2 and come to the hood - because some of these salons/barbershop in GEORGIA especially in the Atlanta metro area could use her help!
8 of 8 | Posted by getdeafopinion | Posted on November 10, 2008 11:26 AM