Ahh, Season 2... can you smell that? It's another ripe installment of lost dignity, loosely orchestrated comedy, and, if we're lucky, cameos from people we all collectively know as "That One Guy from That TV Show" or "That One Other Guy." Let's see if Scott really grows up this time 'round. Not holding my breath.
Scott Baio is 46... and Pregnant begins its season with Chachi, alone, on a golf cart at 3:30AM, smoking a fatty cigar. Though it looks like he might be reflecting on the whereabouts of Henry Winkler ("Is...he dead?"), Chachi lets us know that his moroseness and isolation is due to ...well, let's briefly go back to the last few scenes in season 1's finale.
The last time we last saw Chachi was during the finale of Scott Baio is 45... and Single -- season 1 of his public disintegration -- at a party to celebrate his graduation from life coaching (lol).
As the festivities came to a close, Chachi - who felt like "the luckiest man in the world" at this point in his life -- proposed to his girlfriend Renee (who, under my rule, is now named JOANIE), who, upon saying yes, had popped him a nugget of life-altering proportions.
WTFWTFWTF@#%@#&&%$&*$%WTFWTFWTF!!!!!!!
Chachi lost his cool, then ruined what could've been a completely beautiful moment by taking a poop on it and turning it into an ugly discussion on the driveway. His reaction came from alphabetical reasoning: "Renee, I went from A to B. NOW YOU WANT ME TO GO B TO Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Clearly, Chachi is not happy, excited, or even remotely prepared. In fact, he's effing MORTIFIED. Something says this is going to be a season long Three Men and a Baby.
Chachi then ran from the discussion in haste, beat up the valet (not kidding), stole the catering van (double not kidding) and broke into a country club (scripted). This is where we left off, just in time for Chachi to call an emergency meeting with "DA GUYS."
Because, when friends talk, they always stand in file like this.
DA GUYS from left to right: Jason "Hey, Butthead" Hervey from The Wonder Years, wingman/comedian Johnny and some dude named Steve Cuccio.
WHERE DO I FIT INTO THE PICTURE, CHARLES???
Chachi announces to DA GUYS that he's going to be a dad, and to kill the excitement, Johnny warns him that Joanie is going to be trapping him into a crappy situation (talk about a buzz-killll). Still, though, DA GUYS show their support, but that hasn't helped Chachi from continually bitching about his life being over just because he's going to be a dad. This is going to be one messed up kid when she *oops, spoiler alert* sees the show.
DA GUYS make an exit, and Chachi makes a call to Dr. Ali (from last season) and she suggests he take a class on baby parenting to ease the process. UH-OH, MACHO DAD IN CRAZY SENSITIVE SITUATIONS!!! Where's Steve Guttenberg and Tom Selleck when ya need 'em?
Fast forward 3 weeks later, where Joanie and Chachi head off to their first ultrasound scan. In the car, Chachi introduces a theory he heard about regarding a baby's sex.
"If it's a girl, you take the baby and you plug its nose and blow real hard in its mouth, you can pop a little penis out."
"...Oh, and I've never read a book."
I quit.
Anyway, it's obvious Chachi is pulling for a boy. Boy boy boy. Joanie thinks it's easier to raise a girl. Girl girl girl. A true non-classic battle of the sexes. The ultrasound doesn't really phase Chachi as momentous; upon hearing the baby's heartbeat, he comes off as distant and, apparently, a daydreamer.
"Chaarrrllless in chaarrggge, of our days 'n ourrrr niiighhhtsss..."
The doctor visit is a success and the sex of the baby isn't revealed at the request of Chachi, because it's "too real" and, frankly, he doesn't want to find out it's a girl. It's a girl, by the way. *Delayed Spoiler Alert*
19 weeks later...
(VH1, don't try to convince us nothing happened in those 19 weeks)
As Joanie's belly grows, so does Chachi's list of parenting fears. One of those fears is home expansion. Now, I'm not a parent, but I think that when having a baby comes around, home expansion is virtually default in the process. One extra room for the baby is a step up, right? Not so much for Chachi. BEHOLD: THE RECORD FOR "BIGGEST HOUSE EVER PURCHASED BECAUSE OF A LITTLE TINY BABY" -
BECAUSE BABIES NEED GATES, MOTHER#%@#$%@#%.
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Comments (3)
Huzzah for the arrival of HugoStop, our newest addition to the TVGasm family of recappers-who-can't-go-on-strike-'cause-we-have-no-Union.
I'm excited to see where you take us with "Chachi gets Hair Plugs and Hormonal."
1 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on January 16, 2008 11:19 PM
I have to wonder how much of Scott's reluctance to grow up is totally scripted. Because if it isn't, boy, is he one massive tool!!! (Possible double entendre?)
2 of 3 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on January 18, 2008 3:07 AM
Great recap! Can't wait for next week's.
3 of 3 | Posted by lemongurl | Posted on January 21, 2008 2:32 PM