This week on Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Scott meets up with an attractive, southern 17 year girl in a skirt, and he doesn't even try to seduce her in any way. For a guy like Scott Baio, typically this constitutes somewhat of an accomplishment. It's like Whitney Houston turning down free cocaine. Actually, we can't give Scott that much credit, because the 17-year-old southerner was his girlfriend's daughter. And unless you're Woody Allen, such a relationship automatically muffles any impending desires. So it's more like Whitney Houston turning down dirty cocaine. Plus, Scott's into blondes and the daughter was a brunette. So really it's like Whitney turning down a sandwich. Big whoop.
When it comes to train wrecks like Whitney Houston and Scott Baio, even the smallest step towards acting like a human being deserves recognition. Congratulations Scott Baio! You didn't nail your soon to be daughter-in-law. Oh yeah, and you're still 45... and Single.
Whit, would you like a nice salad for lunch? OH HELL TO THE NO!
Much like Eddie Murphy's day to day life, this week was all about potential children. The episode opens with Renee calling Scott and asking if he'd be willing to meet her seventeen-year-old daughter who is in town from Tennessee. Now, they didn't mention how old Renee was when she had the baby, whether or not statutory rape charges were filed, why her daughter is living in Tennessee, or who her daughter is living with instead of living with her own mama, but logic suggests that the answers are: too young, prolly not, that's where Renee is from, and her dad. I, of course, have a more detailed suggestion. Allow me to elaborate...
My very prominent medical degree, plus subtle psychic powers, lead me to believe the daughter's dad is Renee's high school boyfriend and a former football player named Randall (3 out of 5 people in Tennessee are named Randall. Look it up). Randy used to be Renee's ticket out of town. When she got pregnant, Renee decided to keep the baby, imagining a wonderful life as Mrs. Randall, in a big house, with a fancy car and brand new dungarees, or whatever southern people dream of as fancy clothes; The wife of a pro football player. That is, until Randy tore his ACL, lost his scholarship to UT, bought a dog, named him Anheiser, and woke up one day on a liquid diet. That's when Renee had the baby, packed up the pickup, and left town to start a new life.
I realize that sounds like a cross between Friday Night Lights and Sweet Home Alabama. I clearly watch too much TV, and seem to have tendencies towards stereotyping Southerners, but hey, this is my recap. Bias is allowed here. Prove me wrong if you want. I'm just sayin'... I saw the kid. She's a good girl, but she totally grew up alone on a tire swing.
Scott brings up the whole meeting Renee's daughter thing in his session with Doc Ali. Doc thinks meeting Renee's daughter is a great idea. Just don't sleep with her. Or one of her friends. Or ask her to smoke blunts. Doc is just surprised that Scott has NEVER met Renee's daughter before, despite having dated Renee for so long. Jeez Doc. What do gigolos look like where you live? This is Womanizer 101. Don't stay long enough to smell breakfast, and don't meet family members. These are staples in the Womanizer Handbook. They come right after the chapters called "text message only," "my phone was dead," and "how to make her insecurities work in your favor."
Before Scott can meet Renee's daughter, Doc Ali wants Scott to meet one of his exes who has children. Enter Sheila, from Penthouse. I don't know what Scott did to Sheila, but she's hellapissed. She tells him to meet her at her gym, makes him wait 20 minutes for her, and then when she finally comes out to see him she tells him he has 5 minutes. I've never met the woman, and I was terrified of her. I can only imagine what Scott was feeling.
No wonder he doesn't like brunettes.
When Scott tells her that he is thinking of getting married and having children, Sheila quite bluntly replies, "Oh no don't do that." Scott asks "don't do what?" and Sheila responds, "Get married or have children." Ouch. Sheila drives away after that and Scott goes to get a shot to wash down all that pride he just swallowed.
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Comments (10)
Loved the recap Doc especially the Whitney Houston photo and references.
Sorry to hear that Manuel is still not speaking to you. Maybe if you send him a toaster oven he'll forgive you?
1 of 10 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 5:17 AM
DR, you floor me! I can't list all the things that made me laugh till my coffee regurged, but I think the analogy of three year olds being like drunk people was the topper...that and the AWKWARD picture. Classic McSteeny!!
I'm still wondering how women like the Hooty McBoob Penthouse chick willingly entered a relationship with this guy. After 'Charles in Charge', he had a few guest appearances on shows like 'My Two Dads' and 'Diagnosis Murder'. He certainly wasn't the next Brad Pitt, and Erin Moran claims he's got a small pecker, so how in the blue hell did he get all these women?!???? The world may never know...
Where's our girl K???
2 of 10 | Posted by Shaz![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 5:43 AM
"You didn't nail your soon-to-be daughter-in-law."
Not to be nitpicky, but wouldn't she be his soon-to-be stepdaughter?
3 of 10 | Posted by Rock Star![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 7:00 AM
Shazzy!!! Merci! Wondering where K is myself.
Rock Star, you are of course correct. I'm a boob. That's why one should never rush to get their recaps out...leads to family tree confusion. Now if only I knew how to edit and republish...
4 of 10 | Posted by McSteeny![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 7:43 AM
woooooOOOOOOOO doggie did i miss one hell of an episode!!! i have yet to experience this little gem but now i can't wait.
did catch the previews though and thought it was freaky sweet karma that his beloved has a daughter that's just barely out of range of his dating 'scope.' 17 year-olds consider 21 old...so this wrinkly chachi dude is so like, ancient.
"hooty mcboob penthouse" made my day.
when i finally catch this episode i have a feeling i'll let the hellfire rip...until then, i still dream of a world where mcsteeny and shaz and i sip yoohoo in a hottub with the two coreys...
5 of 10 | Posted by k37744![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 3:59 PM
Great stuff, you had me at the Whitney paragraph.
6 of 10 | Posted by bdos88![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 7:45 PM
Great stuff, you had me at the Whitney paragraph.
7 of 10 | Posted by bdos88![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 8, 2007 8:03 PM
I have been a fan of the 'gasm for a long time and have never commented before, but your recaps are SO funny I felt compelled to tell you how great you are. It's been a while since I have seen such originality and creativity- you are HILARIOUS!! The screencaps are seriously priceless, and I loved your psychic Southern scenario. Keep 'em coming!
8 of 10 | Posted by Kyleigh351![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 9, 2007 9:40 AM
I may be the only one, but I really didn't like Sheila the Penthouse chick. Didn't they date like 20 years ago? And she's acting like he dumped her yesterday. Bitterness after all this time isn't cute. I guess that breakup must have really affected her physically. For a Penthouse model, she's really buffed lookin. Her way of saying, 'no guy will ever dare to dump me again'
McSteeny, my favorite part of that, that you forgot to mention when she started to go on about how Scott Baio treated her and he interrupted her by saying 'i was just here to talk about me' hahah.....again all of you may disagree, but I kinda like Chachi.
And the old lady at Costco...i felt bad for her. She said her husband cheated on her and now she has 14 cats. =( poor lady
9 of 10 | Posted by jozeyg![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 10, 2007 1:19 PM
I may be the only one, but I really didn't like Sheila the Penthouse chick. Didn't they date like 20 years ago? And she's acting like he dumped her yesterday. Bitterness after all this time isn't cute. I guess that breakup must have really affected her physically. For a Penthouse model, she's really buffed lookin. Her way of saying, 'no guy will ever dare to dump me again'
McSteeny, my favorite part of that, that you forgot to mention when she started to go on about how Scott Baio treated her and he interrupted her by saying 'i was just here to talk about me' hahah.....again all of you may disagree, but I kinda like Chachi.
And the old lady at Costco...i felt bad for her. She said her husband cheated on her and now she has 14 cats. =( poor lady
10 of 10 | Posted by jozeyg![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 10, 2007 1:22 PM