When I was ten, the first boyfriend I ever had dumped me at a roller skating rink. Without warning or reason, he sent a stranger over to me to tell me that he didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore and that I look like I have a zit between my shoulders. Stunned and confused as to where our love had gone wrong, I said to the anonymous messenger, "I don't understand." Misplacing the source of my confusion she replied, "Zit between your shoulders...like, your head. Duh." Then she rolled away. Moments later, as I left the roller rink with tears in my eyes and my keds in my hand, I caught a glimpse of my first ex boyfriend roller skating hand in hand with my best friend to the tune of Timmy T's "One More Try." Breaking up is hard to do. You should really get a fair warning. Look out Johnny Leftovers!... Scott Baio is 45... and Single.
It's not you, it's the hat.
The week 7 mission from Doc Ali to Scott: I need to meet your friends. "Fair enough," Scott says, "You will like them. Especially Steve Cuchio ("Cooch"). Cooch just got engaged." "Perfect!" exclaims Doc Ali. "Find a way to introduce me to all of them, all the while leaving a subplot open in which you can do something childish that you can later grow from." I've got just the thing!" answers Scott. "Cooch and I used to hang out with these playboy twins known as the Morrell twins. They're probably itching to rekindle their careers. Steve and I will meet up with them, they'll help me set up a bachelor party, and the whole gang will meet up at the beach before the big party so you can meet my pals!" Wow Scott, what a terrific idea. Couldn't have worked out better if we scripted it!
Scott gets in touch with the twins, plans a double date for a few days away, and then arranges for a day trip to the beach featuring Doc Ali, a recently engaged Cooch, Cooch's soon to be wife and kids, and the Arnold family. Except Kevin. Kevin couldn't come. Scheduling conflict.
Kevin had a date with Winnie, I'm sorry.
Upon arriving at the beach, Doc Ali is pleased to meet all the boys. Well, almost all the boys. Doc Ali is not so pleased to meet Johnny Leftovers. Doc Ali questions Johnny's motives for befriending Scott and Johnny gets pissed and threatens Doc not to interfere with his friendship with Scott Baio. Threatening in a mafia way. Don't interfere or what, Johnny? Or you're gonna have someone break her knee caps? Tuck her in with the fishes? Puhlease. What's with all the Johnny-Doc Ali drama? These two take up too much screentime. I'm done with them.
A few miles down the beach, Cooch and Scott start talking about Cooch's wedding and Cooch asks Scott to be his best man. Scott is honored and happily agrees, because Cooch is a long time friend. And because this means he gets to plan a bachelor party.
So if I make you the best man, can my kids borrow those pants?
All this talk of bachelor parties puts Scott in the mood for dumb girls with big boobs, which sparks a meeting with the Morrell twins. Scott and Cooch decide to meet up with the girls at a pool hall. Based on what I have heard about the twins so far, they will be thrilled that Scott and Cooch asked them to play pool because now they will have a good excuse to bend over. And play with balls.
The Morell twins are named Carmen and Carla. Like it matters. I think their parents were trying to go for the rhyming twin name thing, but diiiiiiidn't quite make it. I think if you're gonna go with "similar but not rhyming," Ding and Dong would have been more fitting.
Scott and Cooch are just starting up a game of pool when the Ding Dong twins come strolling into the pool hall wearing pink streamers as shirts. I thought partydecorationwear can't be worn until fall? Man, now I have to go to the attic and pull out my pinata necklace and Christmas Light scarf.
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Comments (2)
Great recap as always, Steeny! "I think if you're gonna go with "similar but not rhyming," Ding and Dong would have been more fitting." Bellisimo! I thought D&D looked like Spitting Image puppets myself, espcially the one without bangs. She should take a cue from her sister and cover up that caveman Botox forehead- it looks like a shelf. Women like that gross me out so much- I'm having a hard time keeping my Stouffer's mac and cheese down!
Johnny Leftovers is unreal. "Don't mess up my times with Scott Baio!" What a jerk, although I agree the tank top comment, while totally chauvinistic, was pretty funny. Hard to believe this guy had some kind of acting career, although I'm not sure if playing "crack dealer #1" qualifies as an acting career. Ugh.
Can't wait to see how this all ends. Love ya, McS!!
1 of 2 | Posted by Shaz![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 21, 2007 8:17 PM
Scott has dumped 7500 women, but needs help cutting loose one middle-aged, deadbeat goomba?
Oh Chachi. So sad.
2 of 2 | Posted by Pegster![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 21, 2007 8:26 PM