Like all good things must, the trainwreck that is Scott Baio is 45...and Single has come to an end. And it was a predictable one. Scott grew up, learned his lessons, and is ready to finally settle down. A tremendous transition...all in 8 weeks time, courtesy of Doc Ali and a couple three year olds. I think it's only fair to thank the Lord for this valuabe time we've had with Scott.
Dear God, thank you for these past 8 weeks. Thank you for American Eagle and for warm-up pants. Thank you for Johnny Leftovers, and thank you for mud wrestling and cuddling munchkins. Thank you for bad bangs and worse stand-up. Thank you for angry bimbos, three year olds, and teenage daughters. Most of all God, thank you for Brooklyn. Amen.
Where it all started.
The finale opens with Scott's last meeting with Doc Ali. Doc Ali asks Scott if he's ready to settle down. He says he's ready for a marriage, he's just not in the mood for all the details that come along with being married. You know, a wedding, prenups, fidelty, love and generosity to another, all that pesky stuff. Wow Scott. You've made tremendous strides.
Doc Ali suggests that Scott go see a lawyer, find out about prenups, go look at rings, and then decide if he wants to get married. Will Scott propose? Dun dun duuuuuh...the suspense is killing me. Very very slowly.
Scott meets with a lawyer who happens to be Wayne Arnold's cousin. I don't know if she was really a lawyer or if she was just an extra they pulled from an old Boston Legal episode figuring she's been around legal shows long enough to speak the lingo and have people buy it, but either way, she did a hell of a job. Get that woman an Emmy. And then get her a real job.
What's Denny Crane like in real life?
Scott and the attorney talk about Scott potentially getting married and the "attorney" starts to tell Scott some of the reasons he might need a prenup. As the attorney is speaking you can totally see on Scott's face that he has his own set of reasons for a prenup: "Women are money grubbing hos," "I didn't run around with a name like "Chachi" all those years to have some broad take me for half of what I'm worth," and "I'm not giving up the leather jacket Henry Winkler gave me." Gotta love a man with priorities.
Next Scott goes with Cooch to find an engagment ring. The jeweler shows Scott one quite beautiful ring, but Scott is appalled by the fact that the ring costs over a hundred thousand dollars. Now listen, I'm not saying a hundred Gs on a ring isn't a lot, it obviously is, but I still get the feeling Scott's not up to date on the cost of things these days. It's probably cause he shops at American Eagle, so he's not used to the idea of wearing something that doesn't cost $39.99 and have either an intentional rip or a number on the front of it. If only Hollister made rings. Come to think of it, Scott Baio and Spencer Pratt from The Hills would make a helluva ring shopping tag team.
Do you have anything...I dunno...smaller?
The entire time that Scott is looking for rings, Scott gets text messages from Johnny Leftovers, who's been shunned. Scott's cell phone speaks the text messages aloud. So intead of hearing Scott read the text, we hear a weird computer voice relaying messages from Johnny Leftovers such as, "Do you have some epson salt? I got so many lap dances last night I think I bruised my niz-uts." Classy. Oh Johhny, I throw the remote at the tv so much when you are on it that I think I bruised my plizamsa. Go away.
In the meantime, Doc Ali gets to have a one-on-one time with Renee. Doc Ali goes to Renee's house and Renee walks into the room and- oh god, Julie McCollough bangs! Pin-straight-blonde-cover-my-entire-forehead-do-you-have-a-pair-of scissors-no?-ok-those-hedge-clippers-will do-bangs. Terrible. Why on earth would she do such a thing? It If you're gonna go with bangs, at least give that shit a little brush over to one side, Reese Witherspoon style. Renee looks like she lost a fight with a shredder.
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Comments (12)
I too thought that proposal was crap as well as his balking at all the bothersome details of a wedding like he is such a poor victim. Bangs (terrible bangs terrible) should run away, or she deserves him. God she was hideous looking, like she wanted to look like she's in her 20's but I see a not gracefully aging woman in her 40'!
Yeah I can wait for more Chachie. Like if I never see him again, cool! Go away Scott Baio.
I also hated how his girlfriend refered to him as Scott Baio, not just Scott. Wierd
Thanks for a great recap!
1 of 12 | Posted by sweetleaf![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 28, 2007 6:30 PM
It's so funny that Chachi put himself through all this torture and couldn't even bring himself to "act" out a sincere proposal. That was more real than anything on TV.
He and Renee are perfect for each other. "I don't need a man" and "I'll be gone" -empty pregnant threats.
What did you think about Renee's lame story about Scott's sensitivity through pizza cutting and and Doc Alli nodding like it made sense?
I could watch this crap forever!
Dr. McSteeny you are hilarious and I love your recaps! I almost never post - too lazy. You should ask to work on Project Runway or dare I say it - The Hills -next season.
2 of 12 | Posted by Mele![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 28, 2007 7:21 PM
It's so funny that Chachi put himself through all this torture and couldn't even bring himself to "act" out a sincere proposal. That was more real than anything on TV.
He and Renee are perfect for each other. "I don't need a man" and "I'll be gone" -empty pregnant threats.
What did you think about Renee's lame story about Scott's sensitivity through pizza cutting and and Doc Alli nodding like it made sense?
I could watch this crap forever!
Dr. McSteeny you are hilarious and I love your recaps! I almost never post - too lazy. You should ask to work on Project Runway or dare I say it - The Hills -next season.
3 of 12 | Posted by Mele![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 28, 2007 7:25 PM
Love the recaps, just wanted to let you know, Laura Wasser is a HUGE celebrity atty, in fact, shes repping Britney Spears at the moment, so I was pretty surprised you had never heard of her!!
4 of 12 | Posted by nhmom![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 4:56 AM
McS! As always, a great recap. No surprise on the big "finale". I suppose someone like Scott would think he's matured through this process, but all he really did was reveal a feeling, not proposal of marriage. Urgh.
"Ugh, why is Johnny still here? Somebody needs to give him a four knuckle kiss. I'm more over Johnny than Justin is over Britney." BEST LINE EVER!
Renee looks like every other L.A. women- Botoxed within an inch of her life. No wonder she and screen hog Julie Mc are sporting bangs- waiting for the browlift to settle, sweeties? Looks like they had their bangs chewed off by a Jack-o-Lantern. It just amazes me- all the plastic surgery these women get to try and remain "young looking" really only ages them terribly. They just look like a weird Kabuki mask or something. Like the Ding-Dong twins (those two looke like they could be the caveman's girlfriend on the Geico commercials with their shelf-like foreheads).
Can't wait for season two, but only because I live for McSteeny's brilliant recaps. I'll think of you everytime I crack open a can of Mini Raviolis!!
5 of 12 | Posted by Shaz![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 6:02 AM
Thanks for all the positive feedback everybody! I was SO nervous to start my rookie season at the gasm. Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I will be writing about Kid Nation and Real World Road Rules Challenge (my fave) when they each begin. Hope to keep you guys laughing.
Shaz, true story: I had mini raviolis two nights ago. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
PS I can't believe I've never heard of Laura Wasser! Note to self for my next show: research.
THANKS AGAIN GUYS!!
6 of 12 | Posted by McSteeny![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 7:33 AM
So Renee is really pregnant? Since he wasn't able to see her for 8 weeks, do you think she knew she was with child when filming began? Do you think he knew?
So many questions.
7 of 12 | Posted by timwakefield![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 8:35 AM
OOPS
I forgot to give McSteeny props in my post. Your recaps rock! I didn't watch many episodes because your recaps were much better than the real thing.
8 of 12 | Posted by timwakefield![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 8:42 AM
She's definitely really pregnant. I heard the prego rumor a long time ago but didn't want to acknowledge it right away in the recaps. Not sure if she knew she was pregnant before filming or not...It's definitely a possibilty. It would explain why Scott settling down was so imperative. I'm open to opinions.
9 of 12 | Posted by McSteeny![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 8:53 AM
I never post comments on these, but I think you're one of the best recappers on the site... I'm actually suprised that this is your first time. I quit watching this show about halfway through because I couldn't take it any more... but I kept reading the recaps religiously. And I'm really glad that you're going to do RW/RR Challenge... my FAVORITE.
10 of 12 | Posted by Mrs LT![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 29, 2007 9:39 AM
I read that the baby is a girl -- there's some poetic justice in the fact that Scott will always be worrying that his daughter will wind up with someone like him.
11 of 12 | Posted by murphena![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 31, 2007 8:39 AM
Dr. McS,
He is your ex boyfriend today, but that means tomorrow is gonna be awesome!
:)
12 of 12 | Posted by MrsPetersen![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on August 31, 2007 5:28 PM