Somehow during the meeting, the entire state of Florida floods the Capitol building to cheer for Shaq. The kids walk out the front door and the whole crowd goes nuts. Seriously, they all cheer like it's the end of a Christmas parade and Santa Claus is finally rolling down the street in his sleigh. A black kid in the crowd picks a little white boy up and waves him around in the air with joy.
The governor announces that every grade will have physical education daily, and all the kids in attendance lose their shit. We're talking about screaming, running, jumping. It's like a rave right there at the governor's feet. Some children are actually crying with glee. What kid would be that excited about gym class? Just to be a bitch, Shaq takes the microphone and starts a chant of "Make us healthy." The entire crowd gets into it, and you just wish the governor would rip the mic from his hands and be like, "Screw off, dickbag, now plans are canceled."
Although they achieved their dream, Shaq makes sure to embarrass the Challengers in front of the audience by yelling, "I used to call them fat and freaks and all that, but now they're healthy and beautiful!" Oh, thanks. Without Shaq as a mentor, I just have no idea where these children would be.
With the program completed, Chris is back to playing baseball. He says his dream of playing for the Yankees is a reality now, and his mom is signing him up for a new gym that he can attend with his dad. Consuelo is overjoyed!
The mole that ate Broward County
Before Kevin participated in Shaq's Big Challenge, he saw his father working out but he never participated. Now they exercise together, so the program made them a lot closer. James says he's learned new eating habits, like eating a piece of fruit. Of course, then he goes to the deli and orders half a pound of ham, but hey - he only lost 25 pounds, so what can we expect? Ariel says she's glad not to be morbidly obese anymore, understatement of the century. I can't mock her too much though because she tries on a dress afterwards and she looks sweet and charming. She's not, but looks are deceiving. She says she'll miss Kit and Chris, and even Kevin. These kids never seem to realize they attend the same middle school. Actually, they attend the same two schools! What luck!
Walter says the only difference for him after the program is that he has friends. On cue, there's a knock at the door for a very staged visit from his workout buddies. They all seem terrified to enter his home, but they sit down to look at the school yearbook together. Walter then announces he was voted most popular at school, which - YEAH, OKAY. I bet they're all lining up to be your friend, sport.
Shaq says he'll keep pressing until obesity is gone, but something tells me that once they turned that camera off, Shaq's interest waned ever so slightly. However, Governor Crist made P.E. mandatory for Florida schools, grades K through 5. He's thinking about using the Wellness Wheel statewide, and Tyler's lunches will be on the Broward County school menu this fall. The closing shot of the series is Kit running on a treadmill, yapping about how she has the rest of her life to lose this weight. That's Fat Person Code for "I already gained 7 pounds back."
With that, Shaq's Big Challenge is complete! While I'm not even slightly sad to see it go, writing for TVgasm has been a total joy. Thanks for voting me in and for all your great comments! See you in the fall for I Love New York 2!
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Comments (6)
Hey Bailey Quarters, I've been reading your recaps all season and they are hilarious.
I can't believe some of these fatties lost only 25 pounds in almost a year! Isn't it supposed to be easier for overweight people to drop pounds more quickly (as far as number go)? I mean, sh*t, I'm a pretty healthy person and it only took me 2 months to lose twenty pounds.
1 of 6 | Posted by graceee
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Posted on August 6, 2007 4:43 PM
Thank-you for recapping this show so that I didn't have to watch it myself. I found your recaps to be hilarious, especially this final one.
As a reformed "fat kid" myself, I can't imagine the horror and embarassment of trying to lose weight in the presence of not only a sports-celebrity but also the rest of the televised world... kudos to those l'il scamps!
2 of 6 | Posted by It'sLikeKissingAPeanut!
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Posted on August 6, 2007 5:39 PM
Thanks for writing your recaps so I didn't have to actually watch the show... very funny (especially this last one).
As a reformed "fat kid" I cannot imagine the horror of trying to lose weight in the presence of not only a sports-celebrety, but the rest of the televised world too.
Kudos to those l'il scamps!
3 of 6 | Posted by It'sLikeKissingAPeanut!
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Posted on August 6, 2007 5:43 PM
whoops posted my edited version too... sorry!
I'm new at this.
4 of 6 | Posted by It'sLikeKissingAPeanut!
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Posted on August 6, 2007 5:44 PM
Hey graceee, thanks so much for reading and replying! These kids are totally useless! Maybe it's harder to lose weight since they're so young, but each kid had their very own stair-stepper, not to mention required workouts every single day. They must've been staying hydrated on garlic and butter sauce.
Peanut, Typekey is wonky sometimes so don't worry about the double comment! I appreciate it twice as much. The kids definitely have a lot of courage, to subject themselves to jerks like me making fun of them, but man - having the world watching should be motivation to work hard. James never got that memo!
5 of 6 | Posted by Bailey Quarters
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Posted on August 6, 2007 6:36 PM
Bailey,
I thoroughly enjoyed your recaps - far more than I enjoyed the show to be quite honest. I didn't like all the hype for something you knew the Govenor was going to approve. If he was gonna turn Shaq down there never would have been a televised meeting.
I was blown away by the change in Chris and thought they really should have saved him for last since he was the most transformed. I wonder if Kit and James look at Chris and see what could have been.
I look forward to your I Love New York recaps!
6 of 6 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on August 7, 2007 3:10 PM