Underdog Nicole is pushing Linda into near tears as she realizes she's been held down in a headlock and given a buzz-cut! The poor woman sounds near tears as she says...
...and just wait 'till you see it... time's up, lets move on to the latest Hair Show...
Jaclyn is back to introduce the judges again... Kim Vo and his Blonderexic Hair... Kelly Atterton and her Giant Mole... and today's guest judge is David Babaii, who is also kinda cute and chubby and teddy-bearish! David apparently has a product line that benefits wildlife conservation and the celebrities he can claim to have worked on include Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson and Angelina Jolie! Impressive! So why is he wearing grandpa pants?
...there is a very pissed-off and half-naked Wilford Brimley running around somewhere...
It's a mystery. Plus he's got a boring buzz cut (like mine) and gray hair (which I'm fighting). I'd still tap that chunky ass to watch it wiggle, though. If you're having really good sex the only hair on their head you see is what winds up under your fingernails, you know? I'm gonna call him David Babar cuz he looks like he's wearing a pair of elepants...
First up tonight is Lesbiana Dee's client Carla...
Carla is one pretty lady! I think the red suits her, too, even if it is a little jarring for my taste... I can't see too much different with the cut, though.
Second to strut is Bitchy Charlie's client Sandra...
The warmer color change is definitely for the better (one of Bitchy Charlie's obvious strong skillz) and while the style is a tad more on the Sun City Retirement Community side for my own tastes (it kinda reminds me of my mom's hair) it's totally age-appropriate... and according to Charlie, Sandra "looooooves it!"
La Tercera Persona tonight is Dallas Daniel's client Sharon...
Ugh, the two words I'm getting here rhyme with "Skelmet" and "Dead"... with all that poofy volume Sharon could join JV Football and never get hurt. Sorry Daniel, but I just do not like this styling, and it doesn't appear that the color really went anywhere... other than "darker" and "more boring". *sigh*
But if you thought that was bad, here's Underdog Nicole's client Linda...
Holy Sappho, Batman! I didn't think it was possible to out-lesbiana the real lesbiana, but that's exactly what Nicole has done here... even worse, Linda now reminds me of...
...Vulcan High Priestess T'Lar, from Star Trek III, The Search For Spock...
...and honey, Vulcans may be all smart and psychic and shit, but they sure ain't pretty. Poor Linda has no way of covering this chop-job until it grows out in the next day or two. I wonder if Lesbiana Dee likes it??...
...I'm going to take this as a "hell-to-the-no!"...
*sigh* Well, last up is Über-Gay Paulo's client Kelly...
For some reason Paulo thinks this look is "softer" and "pretty", but it just seems "staticky" and "electrocuted" to me. Let's see if the ever-stoic Charlie is giving any hint as to what he thinks of the style...
...as always, Charlie is so difficult to decipher, except for that whole I've-got-a-mouthful-of-cat-pee-and-nowhere-to-spit-it-out look...
Let's see what the judges think! Lesbiana Dee goes first, explaining the menstrual color-clots she put in Carla's hair, and Kim Vo pulls off one of his better sound bites as he stops her and says "Has Nekisa left the building??... cuz this is her hair color! Why just the color on top and not throughout the hair?" Dee says because of the black hair coloring and the time constraints she couldn't do anything else. David Babar says he likes the whole 70's bang framing around the face (and as he waves his short little stubby arms around his own face to illustrate, he looks like a Graying Care Bear trying to say he wuvs you! Awwww!) but wonders if Carla is going to be able to maintain the style. Dee insists Carla will if she doesn't want to get cut, and Carla agrees in fear for her life.
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Comments (10)
Great recap...Will you be recapping any other program when this one is over?
I think they sent the wrong person home this week. Although, in my opinion, none of the hair styles were great,i.e.hair muffs,bad dye jobs, and helmets, the scalp job Nicole gave Linda was brutal. At least Paulo's style could be fixed without the palm tree effect. Poor Linda had no options.
I will miss Paulo and wish him all the best.
1 of 10 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 17, 2008 6:45 PM
Yay, squircangles! I'm going to miss Paolo and, yeah, I think Nicole probably should have gone home but... onward! Who's next?!
You give great recap, J-Mo.
2 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 17, 2008 7:27 PM
This is your best recap to date! Truly. Really and truly. Thank you for making the season of a mediocre show brilliant.
3 of 10 | Posted by silver | Posted on August 17, 2008 8:54 PM
"Whoa! How'd that soap-box get underneath me?"
LOL J-Mo. Your recaps slay me from start to finish. Dang, so now I'm going to have to start watching your two new Bravo shows? I'm in a time crunch here honey. You can only ask a girl to do so much!
XOXOXO
ZBird
4 of 10 | Posted by zbird | Posted on August 18, 2008 7:49 AM
j-mo, can we please go out drinking and hate on people who make poor clothing/hair/accessory choices with the acerbic wit that only comes with a martini-induced buzz? because i think i love you. only not in *that* way. that would be pretty useless to you and me both. but no more stories about your mexican boyfriends until i've had a few shots. ;o)
i'm. so. sad. paulo was my favorite. he seemed like such a *nice* uber-gay-bitchy! (you know. as opposed to, say, stabby.) not much else to say besides huge :o( sadface.
5 of 10 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 18, 2008 9:18 AM
"Well, Kim, in that case you should really try and grow yourself a giant walrus mustache so you could cover up those busted-up half-deflated inner-tube lips of yours."
Hahahahahaha, nice!
Also LMAO at "elepants." J-Mo, you rock! Can't wait to read your recaps for other shows! :D
6 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 18, 2008 10:32 AM
Thanks J-mo, not just hysterical, but each time we get a little peep into your world, as you know Dean and Babar are on my hit list--I've actually seen Dean on AI diaries, GF loves her some flat iron, but I'd have to say Babar looks like he would float my boat, tho, I've not seen part 2 yet--damn those olympics, it took till yesterday to even tape! I see nothing wrong with Wilford Brimley's pants but I guess I'll get a better look, and when I'm done, I'll give 'em back to ol Wil so he can get out of my closet . . . I know you all were wondering where's he's been since "Cocoon"
Well, that was severe butchery on Nicole's part, hard to believe she could look dykier than her daughter, but I for one have never liked the palm tree look, and if you lined up all the after photos of UGP's challenges, it's palm tree after palm tree!!!! I did learn to appreciate him, but I hate looking at "Bessies" I just can't see any reason to put a rein hook in my nostril!
Guess this show is teaching me to JUDGE your stylist by their own hair, coz it may just be what ends up on your head!
xoxoxo
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 18, 2008 11:58 AM
Great recap! I wish you got a star every time you make me laugh! :D
I love the pictures and your caps!
*Mwah* (lol)
8 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 18, 2008 6:19 PM
p.s. forgot to tell you how ridiculously cute you were (are). love it, as always.
9 of 10 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 18, 2008 6:27 PM
skies... I'm gonna miss Über-Gay Paulo, too, he was always one to make me laugh with his gay eye-rolls... *sigh*... and yes, actually I will be recapping the upcoming Season Two of "Top Design" as well as the "Shear Genius" spin-off featuring fan favorite Tabatha called "Salon Takeover"... I may never sleep again, but I will be on duty... *gay eye-roll*
kizarny... if I had to pick whose going to be next to go, I'd say Nicole or possibly Daniel... and thank you, you give great comment, too... *squircanglies*
silver... awww, shucks, that is so sweet and kind of you, I am trying my hardest to give y'all my best, especially since I can't do hair to save my life, but I sure like to make fun of people who do! *smoochies*
zbird... honey, don't sweat it, I promise you won't have to watch the new shows, I'll do the best I can to give you the best of them without having to actually sit down and view them... it's quite likely that the recaps won't have to be so long since I won't have to post 73,204,172 pictures in each one... besides, I think sometimes MY version of the show is more fun... of course, that's a matter of opinion... :) *kissies*
mrsdaddytom... sweetheart, you made my day, and I think I love you, too... although I would NEVER go out in public and make catty remarks where people might actually HEAR me... I really only say terrible things behind people's backs because I was raised right (it's called "manners")... but we could crouch at a dim table in the back near the kitchen somewhere and giggle and point from behind our menus while gorging on wings and stuff... and I apologize about the hairball comment, I probably went a little too far there... (I suspect you were disturbed because you may have had a similar experience, I sympathize). *huggles*
rubinia... you are such a sweetie, I hope the other shows provide me as much material to make fun of as "SG" has... I'll do my best not to disappoint (oh, and just so you know, I had a pair of 'elepants' myself, which is why I hate to see them on others, I know their pain)... *air-kiss*
juddfan... I just *knew* you were feeling me on the SexyDean and David Babar, and isn't it weird that an advert for chubby gay dating showed up under the ads on Part 1? The system must read something in whatever the hell it is that I'm writing and post ads accordingly... also, you read my mind, I WAS gonna do a side-by-side of a bunch of Paulo's work to show he did the same thing a bunch of times, but I ran out of time and energy (pulled an all-nighter and finished the recaps at 5am on Sunday)... lastly, I agree about judging a stylist sometimes by their own hair, but where would that leave Bitchy Charlie??? *chubbles*
detinha... the kiss was good enough for me, and I think every time a Gasmii reader laughs, a Gayngel gets their wings! You're a sweetheart... *MUAH BACK*
mrsdaddytom... p.s. that's EXTREMELY kind of you (although I disagree, but that's just my way)... *criggles* (I'm running out of terms of affection to end these with)
and last...
fire@will... I apologize if I was offensive, it was never my intent, and I edited accordingly. If anyone ever has a question or concern, they CAN send me a private message on this site, I have a profile set up under J-Mo.... and I'm going to leave it at that.
love to everybody...
J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 18, 2008 11:22 PM