Welcome back all ye ever-faithful Gasmii who read these insanely long recaps that fly forth from the limp-wristed hands of El Chubbo Homo known as J-Mo. It is so hard to believe that it's been an entire two months since we began this journey together and watching the fabulously exciting and dramatic Shear Genius on Bravo, and we are rapidly coming down to the final challenge... and things can only get pricklier as the number of available breathing punching bags in Casa De Malo Pelo continues to dwindle... but tonight we are actually treated to some light-hearted fun and games, and a healthy shot of saccharinely adorable children...
...Charlie And The Children Factory...
And I must take a moment out to say that yet another one of my little dreams came true in my sad little life this week... No, I didn't get chosen as Miss Gay Fat Boy Of The Universe (although I have my costume and acceptance speech at the ready)... No, this week Bitchy Charlie posted a comment on last week's recap, and it seems he loves the 'Gasm, and has been enjoying my somewhat totally skewed take on the antics of Season Two Stylestants, which proves that he has an awesome sense of humor considering the fact that I have made some completely unfair and inappropriate comments regarding some of the work he has done on this show. Let's face it, if I were in his shoes, I probably would have come traipsing down to Phoenix and hunted me down for a head-rolling snap-off and possibly a slap-n-scratchfight (and honey, you'd have to catch me first, cuz I may be a lard ass, but I can run like the wind... especially if you tell me there are donuts at the end of the block). Anyhow, I was so completely and utterly thrilled that I lost what little cool I had and promised to be Charlie's slave at some point, so photos of me tied up may surface on the internet at some point. Again. But let's chat about the show after the jump, shall we?
We start off tonight's show reliving Bitchy Charlie's complimenting Lesbiana Dee on her skills and clocking her bitchassness in the same breath. *double-snap* Then we have to watch Dee win the Elimination Challenge all over again (triple boo!!!). But then we got to watch Exotic Nekisa get kicked off the show again! (quadruple yay!!!!) I rewound that part and watched it repeatedly on a loop as I drifted off to sleep, and I dreamed of the devious little Waffles who was so instrumental in getting our Persian Princess Of Power put out to pasture. Snaps, Crackles and Pops to you Waffles! You are my hero! Now, let's leave the past behind and head on into the future! Culled from the files of the opening sequence this week, I have put forth for your viewing pleasure...
...yes, I know Emo Gail was eliminated a few weeks ago, but the reason for her presence here will be made clear later on...
It's a lovely L.A. morning in the Shear Genius Nexxus Salon, and Jaclyn Smith is quite perky as she greets the remaining 5 stylestants, making me wonder if she got a little sumptin'-sumptin' the night before. I'm jealous, cuz my boyfriend puts in so many hours at his damned job that sometimes he isn't up to even one sumptin', much less a pair of them. It's okay though, a big bag of Chex Mix and a giant inflatable pink sea-dragon can be an unhappy boy's best friends. Now that I've shared way too much "I", let's return to the show...
However, I'd really rather be than watching Lesbiana Dee get her ego stroked as Jaclyn unveils her winning bitch-stylings on the "Allure Wall Of Fame"...
...I'm actually kind of shocked that Dee didn't have them change the challenge title to "Womyn's Best Friend"...
Dee wastes no time in getting on my damn nerves by crowing "Finally my work has been recognized, it's been a long time coming and the rest of the stylists know that I'm not messin' around!" Well, yeah, duh, now that your straight-girl crush has been booted out of the house (and we all know you're not into the blonde pixie-girls like Underdog Nicole) so there's no more distraction for you, girl... get real! Nevertheless, Jaclyn tells them all that they should be proud for having made it this far in the competition (and really, they've beat pretty hefty odds up to this point, especially when you consider some of the wacky shit they've had to do... i.e. food in hair and dog-grooming).
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Comments (3)
hey fire@will, the post was edited. j-mo didn't mean it that way! when i republished it reset comments. sorry about that! -flip
1 of 3 | Posted by flipit | Posted on August 17, 2008 2:23 PM
No problem. I never thought J meant it "that way"... but I didn't feel I was doing anyone any favors not to let him know how it came across (to me).
I only wish I could have sent him a non-public comment (my preference for negative comments).
You g-cappers all rock (and are underpaid). Making funny is very hard to do without hurting someone's feelings.
2 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 18, 2008 10:28 AM
Omg, hilarious recap. Doritos as a prozac substitute, LOVE it. Lol.
Never watched this show before but I'm looking forward to the new episode tonight :)
3 of 3 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on August 20, 2008 4:55 PM