Now today's Short Cut Challenge guest judge is best known for styling Ryan Sea(men)crest and alll of the contestants of American Idol... including my favoritest young gayboy ever ever ever... Sanjaya Malakar and his many hairstyles (including the "ponyhawk")... this brings general mirth from the stylestants as they wonder who would ever admit to having done this....
...as iconic hairstyles go, this one ranks right up there with Demi Moore's "G.I. Jane", Melanie Griffith's "Tess McGill", and Stephanie Weir's "Dot Goddard"...
So who is the stylist who actually admits to the invention of the ponyhawk? His name is Dean Banowetz, and my giant bowl of white cheddar popcorn literally flew off my lap by the force of my, um, admiration for him. Talk about a teddy bear, he's damn cute! I must find a way to become his slave as well...
..."I also make hair-hats for Paula Abdul and I designed Simon Cowell's toilet-bowl brush hairstyle..."...
And then Dean opens his mouth and a giant Fendi bag falls out... girrrrrrrul, I thought *I* sounded gay! Well, he probably can't help it any more than I can, so now I kinda feel like we could be sisters, albeit sisters from Kentucky. Anyhow, Dean and his Overly Sculpted Eyebrows says "Hi everyone, congratulationsssss on making it thissssss far! I'm looking forward to sssssseeing your work on thissssss challenge!" Mmmmm, I don't care if he sounds like Dame Edna, I'd take a bite outta The Banowetz any day! Rrrraooowwrrr! (cougar-claw)
Jaclyn says that today's Short Cut Challenge has a surprise for the stylestants, because their clients are going to have very busy schedules, and they will only have 30 minutes to "transform" them.
Bitchy Charlie confesses "I'm nervous about the time, we only have 30 minutes to create something special... it's rilly rilly quick!" And speaking of special, it appears that today was salt-n-pepper day in the Shear Genius Nexxus Salon...
...OMG, Charlie's wearing a "Paul Is Dead" clue!! Number 9... Number 9...
Jaclyn goes on to say that for this challenge the clients will be the ones choosing their stylists, and not wanting to waste any more of their time, Jaclyn unleashes them... suddenly there is the sound of high-pitched shrieking and screaming (and no, it's not Dallas Daniel for once) as a gaggle of little girls comes pelting right at our fearless stylestants!!!
...scarier than any Wes Craven film to meeee, eeeeeee!...
And I ain't the only one...
...these two look like the comedy/tragedy theatre masks... I feel ya, Paulo...
Now, I can't be too snarky about this, because it really was a cute and adorable moment as these children went running out to find their stylestants. Children often have an advantage in that they haven't learned how to hate other people for stupid and insubstantial reasons yet, and I would like it if that fucker Jesse Helms would turn his attention from the extra-hot corner of Hell he now resides in to notice that these children had no fear of running and getting hugs from these five adults... four of whom are dreaded "hommasexshuls" in Jesse-speak. It was actually a pretty heartwarming moment to me, even though most of the time I find children to be incredibly annoying and often wish they were all born without vocal cords.
Anyhow, Underdog Nicole is delighted as she says "Out come running these sassy little girls, just like me!" Bitchy Charlie seems to be more in tune with my personal school of thought on kids as he says "We're gonna have fun..." and he looks like maybe he's trying to convince himself more than his little girlfriend. And Über-Gay Paulo has crouched down and is asking his little client "Are you excited?" and she says "Yeah." and he is self-projecting as he asks "Are you nervous?" and she says forthrightly "No." and he babbles back "No, good girrrrrul, don't be nervousssss, it's gonna be fabbilusssss!" Jeez, Paulo, back up off her a little bit, you don't want that girl thinking she's having her hair styled by the Gayngel of Death, do you?
...do you love how Über-Gay Paulo is subtly flipping the camera off? I do!...
Jaclyn goes on to explain why SexyDean is qualified to judge this challenge... not only does he take care of incredibly immature and spoiled brats like Ryan Seacrest, but he also does the personal hairstyling for 75 nieces and nephews...
...yes, apparently Dean comes from a very fertile and sexually promiscuous people...
« Shear Genius: Chirruns & Kinfolks & Stylists & Chubs! (Part 2) | Main | Buzzin: Shtickers »
Comments (3)
hey fire@will, the post was edited. j-mo didn't mean it that way! when i republished it reset comments. sorry about that! -flip
1 of 3 | Posted by flipit | Posted on August 17, 2008 2:23 PM
No problem. I never thought J meant it "that way"... but I didn't feel I was doing anyone any favors not to let him know how it came across (to me).
I only wish I could have sent him a non-public comment (my preference for negative comments).
You g-cappers all rock (and are underpaid). Making funny is very hard to do without hurting someone's feelings.
2 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 18, 2008 10:28 AM
Omg, hilarious recap. Doritos as a prozac substitute, LOVE it. Lol.
Never watched this show before but I'm looking forward to the new episode tonight :)
3 of 3 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on August 20, 2008 4:55 PM