It seems that *gasp* Dee's not having such an easy time cutting this girl's bangs, they're turning out weird and choppy and Dallas Daniel seems unimpressed as he says "Dee kahnda mayid her chahld look youngur and nawt a little mowur progressive and that really wasn't what the chaylenge was abayowt!" Oooooh, you better hope your thin hair gets into line for Lesbiana Dee or you're gonna be one sorry little girl! And time is up, let's go to the Junior Hair Show...
...Little Miss Sunshine times five...
We start off with SexyDean asking Dallas Daniel what he did...
Daniel explains again that Veronica wanted to look just like Jaclyn Smith, and tells how he did that... SexyDean asks Veronica if she likes it, and she says "Yeah, cuz it's curly and I like curly!" I hate to say this, but I'm thinking she's also going to like eating Elmer's paste in first grade, too...
Second in line is Über-Gay Paulo...
When SexyDean asks Katie what she likes about her hair, she kinda mumbles a bunch of stuff and he finally asks her if she's happy and she mumbles "yeah..." and he pushes her "Are you super happy?" and she mumbles "yeah, um, super happy..." Jeez, Dean, lay off the kid, these aren't little famehounds vying for the chance to release crappy middle-of-the-road albums on national TV, they're just little girls, you don't have to badger them to pretend they're peeing in their Underroos over being on this silly show...
..."Are you super-duper-extra-mega-ultra-over-maximum-strength happy? Huh? Huh??"...
Über-Gay Paulo gives one of the most classic lines of the episode as he's hoping that SexyDean will be "just as sweet" to the stylestants as he's being to the little girls... "Because we are all all girls in that crowd right now... oh, except for Dee, she's all butch!" (gay eye-roll) I'm rocking back and forth and spewing geysers of chip-dip from my nostrils over this. Dear Paulo, you take another little piece of my heart every day, please keep insulting Dee. Love, J-Mo :)
Now it's time to check in on Underdog Nicole and Undergrad Claire...
And SexyDean made me laugh even harder as his opening line is "All right Nicole... tell me what you did to Claire!" and as Nicole explains it I can't help but notice that Claire still looks like she expects the ground to open up and swallow her at any moment. When SexyDean asks her if she's happy with her haircut, she gives him a grim "Yes."
...Jeez, Claire, please tell your folks that Big Fat J-Mo says you need a day at Disneyland or Chuck E. Cheese or something, that face ain't right...
Well, we'll let Claire ponder the ramifications of E=MC² some more and go on and see what Bitchy Charlie and Carol Ann accomplished together...
Charlie tells about Carol Ann's super-fine hair that doesn't like to be curled or stay in rubber-bands, and SexyDean admires how he took the time to wrap hair around the ponytail ties so it would help secure it even more...
...this hairigami style could stand up to Hurricane Charlie even!...
...and ever the masterful game player, Charlie points out his risk-taking to SexyDean as he says, "I didn't want it to be so conventional, I figured for the first day of school it should be a little bit more special than regular days..." Damn, I wish I coulda had Charlie style my hair on my first day of first grade... except we're the same age so he probly would have just stabbed me with his safety scissors and run away laughing. Eh, I still woulda invited him over to my house to listen to my Donny Osmond disco albums anyhow... my bad hair scared a lot of friends away.
Well, let's see if Lesbiana Dee was able to bulldoze her child-client's hair into doing what she wanted it to...
Two words come to mind, and they rhyme with "Kutcher" and "Slob"... SexyDean may be sweet as pie to the kids, but he clocks the poor girl's fugly bangline right away...
...*sigh*... someone's about to embark upon a lonely, friendless school career... I think you better learn how to spell "emo", young lady...
...and you can tell that Dee ain't likin' it at all as SexyDean talks about how you have to take extra time and make sure severe bangs are perfect or they will fall unevenly, and reminds her that the girl's mother is going to be looking at those raggedy-ass bangs, too (the unspoken part being that she will likely drag her daughter to the nearest salon to have that shit fixed pronto). Dee admits she should have started with the bangs first... wow, Dee admitted she wasn't perfect? 2 more cool points for you, girl!
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Comments (3)
hey fire@will, the post was edited. j-mo didn't mean it that way! when i republished it reset comments. sorry about that! -flip
1 of 3 | Posted by flipit | Posted on August 17, 2008 2:23 PM
No problem. I never thought J meant it "that way"... but I didn't feel I was doing anyone any favors not to let him know how it came across (to me).
I only wish I could have sent him a non-public comment (my preference for negative comments).
You g-cappers all rock (and are underpaid). Making funny is very hard to do without hurting someone's feelings.
2 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 18, 2008 10:28 AM
Omg, hilarious recap. Doritos as a prozac substitute, LOVE it. Lol.
Never watched this show before but I'm looking forward to the new episode tonight :)
3 of 3 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on August 20, 2008 4:55 PM