Paulo comes strutting out saying "Heyyyy there, darlin'... I'm straight! Don't touch me! Ah've got a beautiful wife, she's got big big tits, and I cain't wait to go home!" They flash back to Matt's awesome elimination where he claimed he was so happy to lose so he could get back to his wife, his wife, his WIFE!!! Did you know Matt has a wife? Me either, I thought he was gay...
Now Daniel brings forth the lovely Underdog Nicole channelling our dear Drag Queen Meredith!!!
...in honor of craZAY drag queens...
Nicole comes out looking like a total wack-job wingnut and babbles excitedly "I shoulda won that challenge... oh my god!... I take a risk! I take the biggest motherfucking curly hair there is there... and then I dye it red, and it's not good enough, it is not a big enough risk!" Meredith's real flashback is just her laughing maniacally... Daniel chimes in with "Ah mean, crazay as a jewnbug, that one..."
And he starts back up with "Hah!... Ah'm stiyill Daniel... from Dallas!" *sprays hair-spray* "Nekisa... come on ayowt darlin'!"
...ohhhhh myyyyy, somebody is likely at home throwing things at the TV and shouting insults in both English and Persian...
I very nearly lost my sanity when I saw this, but I should have been warned when I saw Bitchy Charlie in the earlier scene seated in a very ladylike fashion and I could not figure out why in the name of Charles Busch he was dressed like that...
...and honey, it's still true... nothin' beats a great pair of L'eggs...
Charlie sashays out and says "I'm a really nice person..." and they immediately flash back to Nekisa's drunken f-bomb rampage that she unleashed on Charlie from a couple of weeks ago, which was sweet television manna from heaven. Coming back to the present-day "Charkisa" is screaming "FUCK you, Charlie!... FUCK you!... I am not attracted to Dee!"
Ohhh, if only they had had one of those HairUWear wigs laying around in deep chocolate brown and streaked with blonde... *sigh*
But wait! Daniel's not finished as he drawls, "Ah'm so sawray... Ah hayiv fergotten one of owur fallen conTAYAStants... Gayil?"
...chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp...
Dallas Daniel says "The invisible person came out and did Gail.... prrretty accurately!" Awww, poor Emo Gail...
...saaaaaad eyes... you knew there'd come a day... when we would have to say... goodby-y-ye...
Daniel finishes off with "Weyell thayat was abaowt as int'restin' as Gayil wuz!!!" Privately he sheepishly says "Sorry, Gayil!" That's why I posted an extra picture of her in this recap... see I'm not a total ogre... Oh those crazy stylestants and their akamaholic hi-jinks! I love it. I'm going to have some akamahol myself now. Be right back with Part 2!
love, J-Mo :)
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Comments (3)
hey fire@will, the post was edited. j-mo didn't mean it that way! when i republished it reset comments. sorry about that! -flip
1 of 3 | Posted by flipit | Posted on August 17, 2008 2:23 PM
No problem. I never thought J meant it "that way"... but I didn't feel I was doing anyone any favors not to let him know how it came across (to me).
I only wish I could have sent him a non-public comment (my preference for negative comments).
You g-cappers all rock (and are underpaid). Making funny is very hard to do without hurting someone's feelings.
2 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 18, 2008 10:28 AM
Omg, hilarious recap. Doritos as a prozac substitute, LOVE it. Lol.
Never watched this show before but I'm looking forward to the new episode tonight :)
3 of 3 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on August 20, 2008 4:55 PM