Have you ever been sitting there in your cubicle, staring at an Excel spreadsheet for six hours straight and typing in scads of teeny-tiny figures while the ass-kissing twats in your office yuk it up in the high-walled cube next to yours that contains your boss, skating their way out of doing any real work and pretending to ooh and aah over the 8 skillion pictures of her yappy little Bichon Frise (whom you have ever-increasingly frequent fantasies of dubbing "Precious" and throwing down a well with a dirty chubby girl trapped in some sociopath's basement) and the queerest sense of déjà vu washes over you, making you feel like you've already lived this day before, pretty much every day, for the last 17 years or so, to the point where you consider setting the communal coffee machine on fire, because at least then it would be something different??!?
...eh, me neither, I was just asking...
However, on tonight's episode of Shear Genius we are handed a hefty hunk of déjà vu, because this is the photo-shoot challenge that unravelled the wrapped-none-too-tight-to-begin-with Dr. Boogie last season...
...nope, still not gay, girlfriend!...
*sigh* I kinda miss the good Doctor and all of his Whitney-esque finger-wagging. I wonder if Vivica Fox ever found him and beat the shit out of him for having claimed to have done red-carpet hair for her just before he boned it on this challenge last season? Hmmmm. Anyways, there are a few surprises, and both a happy and a sad ending to tonight's episode... come join me as we glide through the torrents of mist after the jump...
Tonight we get to start by seeing Bitchy Charlie win his third elimination challenge, and poor Über-Gay Paulo going home... A lot of people are gonna miss you, ya big lovable spike-haired gothic 'mo, but I, for one, am tired of having to hit Alt-154 every time I want to type your damn nickname (gee, maybe I should pick nicknames that don't utilize umlauts next time, huh? *gay eye-roll*) so my carpal-tunnelly hands are kinda glad to see you go...
...ooh, and speaking of still not gay (and someone I was glad to see go)...
...still not missing you, either, ManlyMattMan...
...but poor teeny-tiny Emo Gail, your nickname was so easy to type, I do kinda miss you even though you barely ever said anything and kinda cried a lot and no one wanted to impersonate you last week... *sigh*
As the Fierce Final Four strut their way into the Shear Genius Nexxus Salon, Dallas Daniel enthuses about how amazing it is to be one of those four, and I see he's wearing neon snot-green glasses today...
...meet the talented Dr. Booger...
The ever-lovely Jaclyn Smith greets our ever-shrinking group of stylestants and heaps even more praise on Bitchy Charlie's head as his hairstyling on Dallas Daniel's mother Sandra made it to the Badly-Lit Allure Thingy Of El Cheapoville...
...Big Momma (and her misshapen ears) Are Watching You...
Jaclyn asks Dallas Daniel how he feels seeing his mother so poorly lit featured on the Wall O' Fluorescents, and he sweetly says that he is thrilled even if though it meant Bitchy Charlie won... awww, Daniel, you are such a doll, I wuv you! *huggles*
And it's time for today's guest judge, who is making a repeat appearance on this show, and who is Jaclyn Smith's personal stylist (and dear friend), José Eber! For the longest time I wondered why people pronounced his name with a hard "J" instead of the more latin-ey "hhhgkh", because I thought he was latino, but it turns out he's totally Frenchtastic, and his name really is pronounced "joe-ZAY ee-BEAR". Weirdly enough I remember hearing about him as a kid and thinking that I wanted a name like that when I grew up (something like "jay-MOW ee-CLAIR".... mmmmm, eclairs...)
...José is the O.G.... Original Genius...
Dallas Daniel looks like he's about to erupt with love, and Bitchy Charlie is slack-jawed... while Lesbiana Dee just looks scrunchy-faced and cross-eyed (as usual). José says that he loves to give people great hairstyles that they love, and in order to do that he has to know as much as he can about them. It really isn't as creepy as it sounds. Maybe because José has a cool Euro-accent so everything coming out of his mouth sounds exotic and foreign. Jaclyn chimes in that today's Short Cut Challenge (called "Get Personal") is going to require the stylestants to get to know the personality of their clients, and reflect that in the cut and style...
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Comments (10)
Wow, what a bitch! Still, I would love to see them bring Grecco in much earlier. Aren't you the least bit curious about how Nikisa or Oshun would have handled that? Someone's head would have exploded at the very least.
Go Charlie!
1 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
I never noticed ManlyMat "Pull my Finger" pose! LOL
J-Mo, mah dahling, are you going soft on Bitchie Charlie? Please, don't! He can take it, I'm sure he can take!
I thought Dee's was worst than Daniel's. Grecco was horrible. I haven't heard of him before and hopefully never will again!
**anxiously waiting for the Salon Takeover recap!**
:D
Mwah!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 23, 2008 4:19 PM
I love Jaclyn, but her face reminds me of the Joan Rivers car insurance commercial... "Am I crying? I can't feel my face!" If it weren't for the hand gesture, wiping away the tears, you wouldn't know she was sad at all.
3 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:55 PM
I loved Linda's "village idiot" comment. Hilarious!
I will miss Dallas Daniel...what a cutie. Looking forward to the finale!
4 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 25, 2008 8:28 AM
Great recap. Based only on your comments, sounds like another arbitrary nightmare for the contestants. Not only do they have unequal models, but also different challenges (they could have at least all been trying to set up exactly the same photo). And people like Michael ruin it for everyone - they can be found in most professions.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 25, 2008 9:20 AM
¡Saludos desde España! Y muchas gracias por los buenos deseos from about 3-4 recaps ago, J-Mo. I had to post although my limited vacation wireless connection keeps finding all your screencaps too much and keeps cutting me off, so I hadn´t even gotten to the part where my favorite spiky gay-eye-roller was eliminated, and here´s another one! Ay, I´ll just have to catch up when I get back. Anyway, you would think that I wouldn´t have the time with all this beach and pool and beer and parties to miss my weekly dose of snark, but do I ever! Can I bring you along on my next vacation? Heck, can you move next door to me? And apologies to your boyfriend, but please do marry Chris March (re your PR post) and make my head explode from all that awesomeness... Oh, and I loved your photo (stop it with the chubby comments, you´re very cute, if I were a gay guy I´d totally go for you) and the video with the choreography. Like my kids like to say now, "whoop, whoop, yeah!"
6 of 10 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 25, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey J-mo!!! Just getting back to town and catching up! Sorry to see Daniel go, but happy to see Charlie jump up and down--don't know why that little tuck area is the sexiest part of a man, but hey, we've all got our things!!!
did you hear Billy Mays is going to have a reality show this season . . . . I'm sure it'll be the hit the Emeril never was . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, hate to see the show ending, but glad you've got the Tabby show to do . . . I hope to catch up soon!
Big Hugs!
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 26, 2008 4:38 PM
Did anyone else pick up on the fact that when the stylists walked into the photo shoot Nicole's dress was black as they walked through the door, then gray as the walked over to Rene, and then black again as he started talking??
8 of 10 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 26, 2008 8:23 PM
kizarny... you are so totally right, it would have been interesting to watch Michael Gryuckko take apart Nekisa or Oshun (I'm totally sure Oshun would have pulled a Dr. Boogie and tried to tell Michael how to do the photo shoot since he's so experienced working in TV on "Passions")... Ackulades!
detinha... there is no way I could EVER go soft on Charlie (in fact, Charlie makes me EXTRA hard on him)... truth be told, if Charlie had put forth any fug I would have totally clocked it, but he won these last two weeks because he really did the best job (I think). You're right, he can take a jab or two (he HAS had to live with Lesbiana Dee, for Chrissakes!)...
bongofl... yes, Lady Jaclyn didn't look quite so plasticky last year, but time gets to all of us... at least we know she still has tear ducts!
rubinia... I'm gonna miss Dallas Daniel, too, it's too bad they didn't have a drag queen challenge like they did on Project Runway, because "Dallas Hayir" would SO have been the perfect way to go for that! :(
fire@will... thanks for the kind compliment! I agree, it wasn't exactly fair that they wet down only one model's hair, but then again, they had only one with that snow shit, and only one jumping on a trampoline and only one doing the swingy-thing... i guess they figured those were level-enough playing fields... I hope I meet Michael someday, I'd like to tell him how glad I am he's BEHIND the camera most of the time!
sayhuh... LOL, enjoy your vacation, TVgasm will be here when you get back and then you can see all the fabuliciousness. Thanks for the compliments (I am going to tell my boyfriend that Chris March has to be our third lover or something) and I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work (on several artistic fronts)... have a safe trip home!
juddfan... I totally KNEW you were gonna love that screen-cap... yeah I don't know what it is about underbelly, but I like it... and if Billy Mays is gonna have a reality show, then I want to have a chance to put some Oxi-Clean on his beard to get some of that damned blacky-inky dye out of it and see what his REAL hair color is...
Kon4Mity... Oh. My. God. I did NOT notice/pick up on that (and I had to watch that scene about six times in a row) but you are totally right, there is a major continuity error there... Nicole walks through the door in a black dress... the behind and above POV shot she is suddenly in a gray dress... the next shot from the front the gray dress has 4 black buttons in a square on the bodice... they cut to Rene Fris... when they cut back she's in the black dress again... OMG! Good catch and sharp eyes! WEird!
Thanks everyone for your positive support, we're almost at the end now... :(
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxo
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:40 PM
Dear, sweet J-mo, just as I knew you would screen grab it when I watched that scene!!! So nice to have a sistah here, and I love, love, love the term underbelly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 11:08 AM