Bitchy Charlie got Spring, Dallas Daniel drew Summer, Lesbiana Dee has Autumn and Underdog Nicole pulled Winter. Then four skeletons models come lurching walking out, and all the stylestants are happy because they look like matchsticks with hair very pretty. René gives them three full hours to complete the challenge, and each of them will have to meet with The FugMaster Michael so he can give them his impossible expectations before René tells them to GO SHA-... ah, I can't even type it any more...
First up to meet with Michael Grackle is Dallas Daniel... he's supposed to take the summer scene with a bicycle and some flowers and make it interesting and avant-garde...
...oh, and while you're at it Daniel, could you solve global warming and that whole "cold-fusion" thing as well? Thanks!...
Michael also says they are probably going to "mist" the model so the hair will have to stand up to that, but still be beautiful. The only other place I can think of that "mists" models like that is 80's porn (I used to think that Ron Jeremy was just working so hard that he was always sweating in copious Whitney-esque amounts until I realized one day that it was just some poor P.A.'s job to spritz him in the face and chest with water in an empty Febreeze bottle..)
Where was I? Oh, Dallas Daniel, who is setting himself up here as he admits he doesn't typically do a lot of (air-quotes) avant-garde hair or photo shoots. Great, so you'll be a complete bumbling monkeybutt in this challenge... I can't wait!
Underdog Nicole is up next, and her set for Winter is even more boring....
...it's basically a mattress with some cheap 45-thread-count Martha Stewart K-Mart sheets and a couple of twigs from Pier One...
MichaelMug is luckily pointing out using his piece of paper which way the model is going to lay... hmmm, if she's laying down and they're going to be taking the picture over her, why did they need the dead tree twigs in the background? A mystery...
Lesbiana Dee's Autumn Backdrop looks cheaper than the pull-down kind you get at Sears photo studios... but ol' Shotgun Nostrils sure makes Dee's day when he says that her model is going to be jumping on a trampoline! I'm sure the dew point in someone's boxer briefs just jumped several notches... the model is going to be wearing flowy clothes, so Michael wants the hair to flow, too. Curiously, Dee asks him if she can go jump on the trampoline... why, I have no clue...
...yes, Dee, it is a strange device with it's gravity-defying powers...
Michael looks nonplussed at this weird request, but Dee insists she's "gotta get the feel of it!"
...Ooooooooo-kay...
Last up is Bitchy Charlie and his set for Spring is actually a tad more elaborate than most as he has a couple of cherry blossom trees, some astro-turf and a swing where his model will be in motion... UggoMike in the middle of all that softness is rather jarring and avant-garde all on it's own...
...Spring fuuuuuuuuug... get back from meeeeeeee...
Charlie says he doesn't see anything particularly avant-garde about the set up, so he knows he's gonna have to pull something interesting out or he's gonna get blamed for it and go home. Or maybe Michael will just put his face real close to Charlie's... that'd be a big threat, too...
Underdog Nicole is lucky she has immunity here, because right away she's not understanding the concept of "avant-garde" as she says she wants her model's hair to be "simple and soft... not too crazy". Um, Nicole, that's kind of the whole point. Why is it that people on reality shows always do the craziest shit when they're supposed to make things nice and normal and pretty and pleasing, and then when they are finally given the chance to do something wild and crazy and outrageous, they always do something "simple and soft"? Doesn't anybody remember that "simple" is another word for "stupid"? Oh well, bitch has immunity, so she could color her model's hair fuschia, lime-green and burnt sienna, spray it with glitter and rub sea-squid all over it and it still wouldn't matter, she ain't goin' nowhere...
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Comments (10)
Wow, what a bitch! Still, I would love to see them bring Grecco in much earlier. Aren't you the least bit curious about how Nikisa or Oshun would have handled that? Someone's head would have exploded at the very least.
Go Charlie!
1 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
I never noticed ManlyMat "Pull my Finger" pose! LOL
J-Mo, mah dahling, are you going soft on Bitchie Charlie? Please, don't! He can take it, I'm sure he can take!
I thought Dee's was worst than Daniel's. Grecco was horrible. I haven't heard of him before and hopefully never will again!
**anxiously waiting for the Salon Takeover recap!**
:D
Mwah!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 23, 2008 4:19 PM
I love Jaclyn, but her face reminds me of the Joan Rivers car insurance commercial... "Am I crying? I can't feel my face!" If it weren't for the hand gesture, wiping away the tears, you wouldn't know she was sad at all.
3 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:55 PM
I loved Linda's "village idiot" comment. Hilarious!
I will miss Dallas Daniel...what a cutie. Looking forward to the finale!
4 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 25, 2008 8:28 AM
Great recap. Based only on your comments, sounds like another arbitrary nightmare for the contestants. Not only do they have unequal models, but also different challenges (they could have at least all been trying to set up exactly the same photo). And people like Michael ruin it for everyone - they can be found in most professions.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 25, 2008 9:20 AM
¡Saludos desde España! Y muchas gracias por los buenos deseos from about 3-4 recaps ago, J-Mo. I had to post although my limited vacation wireless connection keeps finding all your screencaps too much and keeps cutting me off, so I hadn´t even gotten to the part where my favorite spiky gay-eye-roller was eliminated, and here´s another one! Ay, I´ll just have to catch up when I get back. Anyway, you would think that I wouldn´t have the time with all this beach and pool and beer and parties to miss my weekly dose of snark, but do I ever! Can I bring you along on my next vacation? Heck, can you move next door to me? And apologies to your boyfriend, but please do marry Chris March (re your PR post) and make my head explode from all that awesomeness... Oh, and I loved your photo (stop it with the chubby comments, you´re very cute, if I were a gay guy I´d totally go for you) and the video with the choreography. Like my kids like to say now, "whoop, whoop, yeah!"
6 of 10 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 25, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey J-mo!!! Just getting back to town and catching up! Sorry to see Daniel go, but happy to see Charlie jump up and down--don't know why that little tuck area is the sexiest part of a man, but hey, we've all got our things!!!
did you hear Billy Mays is going to have a reality show this season . . . . I'm sure it'll be the hit the Emeril never was . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, hate to see the show ending, but glad you've got the Tabby show to do . . . I hope to catch up soon!
Big Hugs!
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 26, 2008 4:38 PM
Did anyone else pick up on the fact that when the stylists walked into the photo shoot Nicole's dress was black as they walked through the door, then gray as the walked over to Rene, and then black again as he started talking??
8 of 10 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 26, 2008 8:23 PM
kizarny... you are so totally right, it would have been interesting to watch Michael Gryuckko take apart Nekisa or Oshun (I'm totally sure Oshun would have pulled a Dr. Boogie and tried to tell Michael how to do the photo shoot since he's so experienced working in TV on "Passions")... Ackulades!
detinha... there is no way I could EVER go soft on Charlie (in fact, Charlie makes me EXTRA hard on him)... truth be told, if Charlie had put forth any fug I would have totally clocked it, but he won these last two weeks because he really did the best job (I think). You're right, he can take a jab or two (he HAS had to live with Lesbiana Dee, for Chrissakes!)...
bongofl... yes, Lady Jaclyn didn't look quite so plasticky last year, but time gets to all of us... at least we know she still has tear ducts!
rubinia... I'm gonna miss Dallas Daniel, too, it's too bad they didn't have a drag queen challenge like they did on Project Runway, because "Dallas Hayir" would SO have been the perfect way to go for that! :(
fire@will... thanks for the kind compliment! I agree, it wasn't exactly fair that they wet down only one model's hair, but then again, they had only one with that snow shit, and only one jumping on a trampoline and only one doing the swingy-thing... i guess they figured those were level-enough playing fields... I hope I meet Michael someday, I'd like to tell him how glad I am he's BEHIND the camera most of the time!
sayhuh... LOL, enjoy your vacation, TVgasm will be here when you get back and then you can see all the fabuliciousness. Thanks for the compliments (I am going to tell my boyfriend that Chris March has to be our third lover or something) and I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work (on several artistic fronts)... have a safe trip home!
juddfan... I totally KNEW you were gonna love that screen-cap... yeah I don't know what it is about underbelly, but I like it... and if Billy Mays is gonna have a reality show, then I want to have a chance to put some Oxi-Clean on his beard to get some of that damned blacky-inky dye out of it and see what his REAL hair color is...
Kon4Mity... Oh. My. God. I did NOT notice/pick up on that (and I had to watch that scene about six times in a row) but you are totally right, there is a major continuity error there... Nicole walks through the door in a black dress... the behind and above POV shot she is suddenly in a gray dress... the next shot from the front the gray dress has 4 black buttons in a square on the bodice... they cut to Rene Fris... when they cut back she's in the black dress again... OMG! Good catch and sharp eyes! WEird!
Thanks everyone for your positive support, we're almost at the end now... :(
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxo
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:40 PM
Dear, sweet J-mo, just as I knew you would screen grab it when I watched that scene!!! So nice to have a sistah here, and I love, love, love the term underbelly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 11:08 AM