Lesbiana Dee says her strategy is to do something "original" and "edgy". Gaaaaaaah! The fuckin' "edgy" bullshit again! That word has lost any descriptive power it once held for me.... although I think in this case it may mean "ready to topple off of a cliff into a deep ravine of suckiness". Our girl Dee ain't gonna put the hair up like other people are doing, she wants to show what she's all about and tosses out her same tired buzzwords "strong", "trendy" and "funky". In translation: "same", "old" and "thing".
Bitchy Charlie is getting all gardener on his model's ass and is gonna create a "hedge-like shape with a few flowers popped in." Hmmmm, I dunno, that sounds dangerously close to sea-salt and flour from two weeks ago! Charlie ain't cutting his model's hair, though, as he says "Chiiiiiile, she has that (*snap*) much hair! I am gonna set that girl's hair like it has never been set before! I am gonna curl it, I am gonna rag-set it, I am gonna pin it, and I'm gonna hit it with the flat-iron afterwards! We're settin' it for Jesus!"
...Charlie Price... settin' hair for Jesus since 1987...
Oooh, now it's time for René Fris to come in and undermine all their confidence! Yay for René and his tricky ways (and bizarre SuperFag poses)! He starts off with Dallas Daniel who is adding about two extra Diana Rosses-worth of hair, some of it a really awful shade of red... and it's in braids.
..."Teww mee yoo aaa nod sewiouws aboud deez Laurah Ingallss bwaiyd!"...
Daniel pretty much admits he has no clue if he's going in the right direction or not because Michael said he wanted it "edgy but beautiful but edgy but beautiful but edgy but beautiful but edgy!" René flat-out tells him the Prairie Braids scare him a liddle bid.
The next victim is Underdog Nicole, who says she's doing smooth fingerwaves in front and some extensions with red to match her model's red dress. René axes her if she's thinging about immunidy and she assures him she's not, but really she probably is, cuz I know I would be like "Yeah, bitches! Watch me fuck up this challenge as much as I want to and I'm still not going home, nanny-nanny-boooo-boo-stick-your-head-in-doooo-dooo!" René sees there's no battle to be had here, so he moves on to Bitchy Charlie...
...who has created an amazing shape that looks like he twisty-toilet-papered his model's whole head. René is concerned about frizziness, but Charlie insists that a little frizz is okay as long as it's soft. I hope he's right, Michael doesn't look like he takes prisoners... or self-portraits for that matter (baaad, J-Mo, stop it.)
Last in line for abuse is Lesbiana Dee. René clocks right away that she cut the length her model's hair and wants to know why she did that. Dee says it's because she wants to add in more pieces of hair, and if it was shorter she will have more fullness. Her poor model looks like she's not happy that she wound up getting her hair cut at all...
...well, hon, Autumn is often a season of sorrow...
René goes right for the throat when he asks her "Aaa yoo comffabble with dis challense?" and Dee says she's done some photo shoots before, but that she's more excited than anything to showcase a style that's more her. It didn't really answer the question, but the lack of an answer was all the answer René needed, and he glides prissily away...
...only to return a few moments later as he notices that Dee is having problems. She had originally applied hair extensions to her model's head with clips, but the girl's hair was so fine they were slipping and now it looks like Dee's supergluing them to her already unhappy model's head. Great, so you're stuck with this originaledgystrongfunkytrendy style until you can find a solvent that dissolves epoxy... good luck!
Dallas Daniel clocks the fact that Dee has made the same haircut again that she has done in previous challenges, most notably in the bitch challenge from a couple of weeks ago...
..."arf! arf! arf! Dee did mah hayir, Dee did mah hayir!"...
Bitchy Charlie is critiquing Dallas Daniel's 'do, saying that while Daniel knows how to do big hair, he's not sure he grasps the meaning of "avant garde". That's probably why Danny put it in "air quotes" when he mentioned it earlier.
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Comments (10)
Wow, what a bitch! Still, I would love to see them bring Grecco in much earlier. Aren't you the least bit curious about how Nikisa or Oshun would have handled that? Someone's head would have exploded at the very least.
Go Charlie!
1 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
I never noticed ManlyMat "Pull my Finger" pose! LOL
J-Mo, mah dahling, are you going soft on Bitchie Charlie? Please, don't! He can take it, I'm sure he can take!
I thought Dee's was worst than Daniel's. Grecco was horrible. I haven't heard of him before and hopefully never will again!
**anxiously waiting for the Salon Takeover recap!**
:D
Mwah!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 23, 2008 4:19 PM
I love Jaclyn, but her face reminds me of the Joan Rivers car insurance commercial... "Am I crying? I can't feel my face!" If it weren't for the hand gesture, wiping away the tears, you wouldn't know she was sad at all.
3 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:55 PM
I loved Linda's "village idiot" comment. Hilarious!
I will miss Dallas Daniel...what a cutie. Looking forward to the finale!
4 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 25, 2008 8:28 AM
Great recap. Based only on your comments, sounds like another arbitrary nightmare for the contestants. Not only do they have unequal models, but also different challenges (they could have at least all been trying to set up exactly the same photo). And people like Michael ruin it for everyone - they can be found in most professions.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 25, 2008 9:20 AM
¡Saludos desde España! Y muchas gracias por los buenos deseos from about 3-4 recaps ago, J-Mo. I had to post although my limited vacation wireless connection keeps finding all your screencaps too much and keeps cutting me off, so I hadn´t even gotten to the part where my favorite spiky gay-eye-roller was eliminated, and here´s another one! Ay, I´ll just have to catch up when I get back. Anyway, you would think that I wouldn´t have the time with all this beach and pool and beer and parties to miss my weekly dose of snark, but do I ever! Can I bring you along on my next vacation? Heck, can you move next door to me? And apologies to your boyfriend, but please do marry Chris March (re your PR post) and make my head explode from all that awesomeness... Oh, and I loved your photo (stop it with the chubby comments, you´re very cute, if I were a gay guy I´d totally go for you) and the video with the choreography. Like my kids like to say now, "whoop, whoop, yeah!"
6 of 10 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 25, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey J-mo!!! Just getting back to town and catching up! Sorry to see Daniel go, but happy to see Charlie jump up and down--don't know why that little tuck area is the sexiest part of a man, but hey, we've all got our things!!!
did you hear Billy Mays is going to have a reality show this season . . . . I'm sure it'll be the hit the Emeril never was . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, hate to see the show ending, but glad you've got the Tabby show to do . . . I hope to catch up soon!
Big Hugs!
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 26, 2008 4:38 PM
Did anyone else pick up on the fact that when the stylists walked into the photo shoot Nicole's dress was black as they walked through the door, then gray as the walked over to Rene, and then black again as he started talking??
8 of 10 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 26, 2008 8:23 PM
kizarny... you are so totally right, it would have been interesting to watch Michael Gryuckko take apart Nekisa or Oshun (I'm totally sure Oshun would have pulled a Dr. Boogie and tried to tell Michael how to do the photo shoot since he's so experienced working in TV on "Passions")... Ackulades!
detinha... there is no way I could EVER go soft on Charlie (in fact, Charlie makes me EXTRA hard on him)... truth be told, if Charlie had put forth any fug I would have totally clocked it, but he won these last two weeks because he really did the best job (I think). You're right, he can take a jab or two (he HAS had to live with Lesbiana Dee, for Chrissakes!)...
bongofl... yes, Lady Jaclyn didn't look quite so plasticky last year, but time gets to all of us... at least we know she still has tear ducts!
rubinia... I'm gonna miss Dallas Daniel, too, it's too bad they didn't have a drag queen challenge like they did on Project Runway, because "Dallas Hayir" would SO have been the perfect way to go for that! :(
fire@will... thanks for the kind compliment! I agree, it wasn't exactly fair that they wet down only one model's hair, but then again, they had only one with that snow shit, and only one jumping on a trampoline and only one doing the swingy-thing... i guess they figured those were level-enough playing fields... I hope I meet Michael someday, I'd like to tell him how glad I am he's BEHIND the camera most of the time!
sayhuh... LOL, enjoy your vacation, TVgasm will be here when you get back and then you can see all the fabuliciousness. Thanks for the compliments (I am going to tell my boyfriend that Chris March has to be our third lover or something) and I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work (on several artistic fronts)... have a safe trip home!
juddfan... I totally KNEW you were gonna love that screen-cap... yeah I don't know what it is about underbelly, but I like it... and if Billy Mays is gonna have a reality show, then I want to have a chance to put some Oxi-Clean on his beard to get some of that damned blacky-inky dye out of it and see what his REAL hair color is...
Kon4Mity... Oh. My. God. I did NOT notice/pick up on that (and I had to watch that scene about six times in a row) but you are totally right, there is a major continuity error there... Nicole walks through the door in a black dress... the behind and above POV shot she is suddenly in a gray dress... the next shot from the front the gray dress has 4 black buttons in a square on the bodice... they cut to Rene Fris... when they cut back she's in the black dress again... OMG! Good catch and sharp eyes! WEird!
Thanks everyone for your positive support, we're almost at the end now... :(
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxo
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:40 PM
Dear, sweet J-mo, just as I knew you would screen grab it when I watched that scene!!! So nice to have a sistah here, and I love, love, love the term underbelly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 11:08 AM