Time is up! And just when you think there could NOT be any more pressure on them, René drops the bomb that all of the judges will be present at the photo shoot (Jaclyn Smith and Kim Vo, but no Kelly Atterton) as well as today's guest judge, editor in chief of Allure Magazine, Linda Wells...
...definitely prettier than Anna Wintour (sorry Annie)...
Bitchy Charlie immediately asks if anyone has a Valium and interviews "She's only one of the most powerful women in fashion, so I'm scared... shitless!" Dee looks like she's scared shitmore and might have filled her pants a little bit at this news....
...cleanup on Aisle D...
Too late now, it's about to begin, and first up is Underdog Nicole's WinterGirl. Her model lays down and the hair is immediately encrusted in corn-flake sized bits of fake snow. Michael Grecco is in full Uggo-Power Mode™ as he complains that it looks like the model has dandruff, and that shit needs to be cleaned out of her hair pronto. Of course, the model also looks like a frozen corpse, but this doesn't seem to bother anybody but me (when I think of winter, cadaver-pops don't automatically spring to mind)...
...Nicole, honey, she might need some Selsun Blue or Head'N'Shoulders...
Michael is steadily complaining that the hair looks like it has flyaways and is too dry, and Underdog Nicole is running ragged trying to reshape the "soft and simple" curls she so badly wanted... and after she's working feverishly trying to accommodate him, he kind of seems to give up and snottily tells her that it's "close enough". Jaclyn, Kim and Linda Wells are observing and Jaclyn says it doesn't look like an actual style. Ouch! Meanwhile, Michael GargantuNose is rudely berating Nicole for not watching the monitor over his shoulder closely enough so she can give further input (she's standing right there, any closer and her eyeballs would have been glued to his fucking viewfinder). People, please, if you think Charlie is bitchy, this guy is the Crotchety Gramma Queen Of All Bitches... oh, and next Nicole gets bitched out for not warning Michael she was going to go into the frame... it's her simple inexperience with doing a photo shoot, but Mikey is treating her like she should already know this, and that kind of attitude really pisses me off...
I'm wondering how Lesbiana Dee is going to take this, because FugMike is coming for her next... and before the model even gets to jumping around, Michael says he's worried about the frizzy parts around the crown of her head, which Dee tries to fix with pomade and hairspray...
...the Autumn leeeeeaves are fallling dowwwwwwn... and so is Deeeeeee's super-frizzy crowwwwwwn...
Michael says that AutumnGirl's hair isn't going back enough when the she jumps, it's just going up and looking "Poindexterish". Kim Vo says on the DL to Linda that he thinks architecturally it's going to be tough to throw wind in Dee's cut. Now Michael is saying he's disappointed in the way Dee placed the yellow color extensions too far back, and wants her to bring them forward immediately. Poor Dee. I actually feel a bit sorry for her here, you can tell she is rattled and privately interviews "Michael is very intimidating... I feel like, you don't have to be a cocky asshole to be a great artist." True dat, girlfriend! Although, maybe it wasn't the brightest thing to say considering the fact that the guy is probably gonna see you say that on TV....
...and at this point I don't think Dee cares... and I don't blame her, girl, he was being hateful...
...maybe therein lies a lesson for Dee (and all of us). Mikey Gruggo's not letting up, either as he's pointing out problems with her bangs that have been created by Dee's cut, and dryness and frizziness appearing... Dee's hurrying and trying to fix all of this shit he's barking out to her, and then he rushes her further by saying they've only got 10 minutes left! Damn! I'm really having a tall glass of Haterade in your honor, Mr. Michael Checco, cuz you are forcing me to side with Lesbiana Dee!
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Comments (10)
Wow, what a bitch! Still, I would love to see them bring Grecco in much earlier. Aren't you the least bit curious about how Nikisa or Oshun would have handled that? Someone's head would have exploded at the very least.
Go Charlie!
1 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
I never noticed ManlyMat "Pull my Finger" pose! LOL
J-Mo, mah dahling, are you going soft on Bitchie Charlie? Please, don't! He can take it, I'm sure he can take!
I thought Dee's was worst than Daniel's. Grecco was horrible. I haven't heard of him before and hopefully never will again!
**anxiously waiting for the Salon Takeover recap!**
:D
Mwah!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 23, 2008 4:19 PM
I love Jaclyn, but her face reminds me of the Joan Rivers car insurance commercial... "Am I crying? I can't feel my face!" If it weren't for the hand gesture, wiping away the tears, you wouldn't know she was sad at all.
3 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:55 PM
I loved Linda's "village idiot" comment. Hilarious!
I will miss Dallas Daniel...what a cutie. Looking forward to the finale!
4 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 25, 2008 8:28 AM
Great recap. Based only on your comments, sounds like another arbitrary nightmare for the contestants. Not only do they have unequal models, but also different challenges (they could have at least all been trying to set up exactly the same photo). And people like Michael ruin it for everyone - they can be found in most professions.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 25, 2008 9:20 AM
¡Saludos desde España! Y muchas gracias por los buenos deseos from about 3-4 recaps ago, J-Mo. I had to post although my limited vacation wireless connection keeps finding all your screencaps too much and keeps cutting me off, so I hadn´t even gotten to the part where my favorite spiky gay-eye-roller was eliminated, and here´s another one! Ay, I´ll just have to catch up when I get back. Anyway, you would think that I wouldn´t have the time with all this beach and pool and beer and parties to miss my weekly dose of snark, but do I ever! Can I bring you along on my next vacation? Heck, can you move next door to me? And apologies to your boyfriend, but please do marry Chris March (re your PR post) and make my head explode from all that awesomeness... Oh, and I loved your photo (stop it with the chubby comments, you´re very cute, if I were a gay guy I´d totally go for you) and the video with the choreography. Like my kids like to say now, "whoop, whoop, yeah!"
6 of 10 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 25, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey J-mo!!! Just getting back to town and catching up! Sorry to see Daniel go, but happy to see Charlie jump up and down--don't know why that little tuck area is the sexiest part of a man, but hey, we've all got our things!!!
did you hear Billy Mays is going to have a reality show this season . . . . I'm sure it'll be the hit the Emeril never was . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, hate to see the show ending, but glad you've got the Tabby show to do . . . I hope to catch up soon!
Big Hugs!
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 26, 2008 4:38 PM
Did anyone else pick up on the fact that when the stylists walked into the photo shoot Nicole's dress was black as they walked through the door, then gray as the walked over to Rene, and then black again as he started talking??
8 of 10 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 26, 2008 8:23 PM
kizarny... you are so totally right, it would have been interesting to watch Michael Gryuckko take apart Nekisa or Oshun (I'm totally sure Oshun would have pulled a Dr. Boogie and tried to tell Michael how to do the photo shoot since he's so experienced working in TV on "Passions")... Ackulades!
detinha... there is no way I could EVER go soft on Charlie (in fact, Charlie makes me EXTRA hard on him)... truth be told, if Charlie had put forth any fug I would have totally clocked it, but he won these last two weeks because he really did the best job (I think). You're right, he can take a jab or two (he HAS had to live with Lesbiana Dee, for Chrissakes!)...
bongofl... yes, Lady Jaclyn didn't look quite so plasticky last year, but time gets to all of us... at least we know she still has tear ducts!
rubinia... I'm gonna miss Dallas Daniel, too, it's too bad they didn't have a drag queen challenge like they did on Project Runway, because "Dallas Hayir" would SO have been the perfect way to go for that! :(
fire@will... thanks for the kind compliment! I agree, it wasn't exactly fair that they wet down only one model's hair, but then again, they had only one with that snow shit, and only one jumping on a trampoline and only one doing the swingy-thing... i guess they figured those were level-enough playing fields... I hope I meet Michael someday, I'd like to tell him how glad I am he's BEHIND the camera most of the time!
sayhuh... LOL, enjoy your vacation, TVgasm will be here when you get back and then you can see all the fabuliciousness. Thanks for the compliments (I am going to tell my boyfriend that Chris March has to be our third lover or something) and I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work (on several artistic fronts)... have a safe trip home!
juddfan... I totally KNEW you were gonna love that screen-cap... yeah I don't know what it is about underbelly, but I like it... and if Billy Mays is gonna have a reality show, then I want to have a chance to put some Oxi-Clean on his beard to get some of that damned blacky-inky dye out of it and see what his REAL hair color is...
Kon4Mity... Oh. My. God. I did NOT notice/pick up on that (and I had to watch that scene about six times in a row) but you are totally right, there is a major continuity error there... Nicole walks through the door in a black dress... the behind and above POV shot she is suddenly in a gray dress... the next shot from the front the gray dress has 4 black buttons in a square on the bodice... they cut to Rene Fris... when they cut back she's in the black dress again... OMG! Good catch and sharp eyes! WEird!
Thanks everyone for your positive support, we're almost at the end now... :(
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxo
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:40 PM
Dear, sweet J-mo, just as I knew you would screen grab it when I watched that scene!!! So nice to have a sistah here, and I love, love, love the term underbelly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 11:08 AM