How will Bitchy Charlie fare? First thing Mikey-Mike says is that SpringGirl's hair doesn't look avant-garde, it's too "period", too "romantic". It seems almost like this guy is talking out his ass just to fuck with these people for his own pleasure and amusement, which normally I would find kind of funny, but not the mean pissy way he's doing it. Charlie keeps his cool, though, and goes in and starts pulling out hair tendrils with his comb, but now Michael is complaining that it's too frizzy. Apparently Charlie has been through this drill before, though, because he says that photographers often pull this shit where they change their minds mid-stream and you have to be able to adapt the hair at light speed to accommodate their insane whims...
...springy avant-garde?... or country dumpage?...
...but all of a sudden, Michael says it has "attitude" and he likes it! But then he calls it "a little Bride Of Frankenstein" and I'm shouting at the TV "It's FRAHNkenSTEEN!" Kim and Linda are key-keying that the frizz is getting in the way, but that maybe Charlie can pull it out.
Last up is Dallas Daniel and his SummerGirl... first thing Muggsy Mike notices is that Daniel did a lot of detail work in the back... but he's shooting her face, so no one's gonna see it! Crap, I hate it when he has a point! He says it's not avant garde at all, and hates the red braid! He's over talking to the judging panel and saying that there's NOTHING that he's seeing that he likes about it... Daniel, this spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E, especially when NastyMike goes on to say that he feels like he's "backed into a corner with this hairstyle". Daniel is trying to work on it, but the red, the red, the red is just messing the whole thing up! Daniel appears to be gnawing his fingernails right down to the third knuckle, and suggests the model hold one of the now discarded violet flowers, a suggestion that Mikey actually likey!!
...girl, you make it look like they're... goin' to the toilet on you...
Oh, but now here comes the "misting" and Dallas Daniel says that the L.A.F.D. brought their hoses and that "he hosed this bitch dayown lahk she was owon FAHR!!" but Daniel is proud that his base-tease stood up to the deluge. He's right in the way that a gentle rain won't wash away a pile of turds, but it doesn't exactly make them look any more appealing, either... Michael finishes off with a "It's good... we got it... there's nothing more I can do with this!" Daniel clutches his can of hairspray and whimpers a little. Jeez, coming on the heels of Ze French Prozaque that was José Eber, Uggo Mike sure is a harsh contrast! But at least it's finally a wrap, and they can all excape!
Back in the Judgment Chambers, the Final Four face the Death Squad of Jaclyn, Kim, Linda and Michael (ugh, please, no more face time for him (at least in close-ups), have mercy on me Bravo!)....
...kinda makes you wish for a temporary cable outage, don't it?...
First up on the chopping block is Dallas Daniel and his Sad Summer Señorita...
...yes, this totally reminds me of summer... on Bubonic Plague Island...
...Pre-photo-shoot fucking up and wetting down...
Daniel talks about the pompadour he built to withstand the misting, and Linda nails him with the fact that yes, it stood up to the water, but, as she put it "Is it a pretty hairstyle?" and goes on to point out that he did all that needless work in the back that wouldn't be seen in the photo and the wet pompadour wasn't really enough. Michael wants to know why Daniel went with the red braid, and Daniel says it was because the dress was kinda boring in color, and Michael says again that it wasn't in his color palette.
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Comments (10)
Wow, what a bitch! Still, I would love to see them bring Grecco in much earlier. Aren't you the least bit curious about how Nikisa or Oshun would have handled that? Someone's head would have exploded at the very least.
Go Charlie!
1 of 10 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on August 23, 2008 12:03 PM
Thanks for the great recap!
I never noticed ManlyMat "Pull my Finger" pose! LOL
J-Mo, mah dahling, are you going soft on Bitchie Charlie? Please, don't! He can take it, I'm sure he can take!
I thought Dee's was worst than Daniel's. Grecco was horrible. I haven't heard of him before and hopefully never will again!
**anxiously waiting for the Salon Takeover recap!**
:D
Mwah!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on August 23, 2008 4:19 PM
I love Jaclyn, but her face reminds me of the Joan Rivers car insurance commercial... "Am I crying? I can't feel my face!" If it weren't for the hand gesture, wiping away the tears, you wouldn't know she was sad at all.
3 of 10 | Posted by bongofl | Posted on August 24, 2008 1:55 PM
I loved Linda's "village idiot" comment. Hilarious!
I will miss Dallas Daniel...what a cutie. Looking forward to the finale!
4 of 10 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on August 25, 2008 8:28 AM
Great recap. Based only on your comments, sounds like another arbitrary nightmare for the contestants. Not only do they have unequal models, but also different challenges (they could have at least all been trying to set up exactly the same photo). And people like Michael ruin it for everyone - they can be found in most professions.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 25, 2008 9:20 AM
¡Saludos desde España! Y muchas gracias por los buenos deseos from about 3-4 recaps ago, J-Mo. I had to post although my limited vacation wireless connection keeps finding all your screencaps too much and keeps cutting me off, so I hadn´t even gotten to the part where my favorite spiky gay-eye-roller was eliminated, and here´s another one! Ay, I´ll just have to catch up when I get back. Anyway, you would think that I wouldn´t have the time with all this beach and pool and beer and parties to miss my weekly dose of snark, but do I ever! Can I bring you along on my next vacation? Heck, can you move next door to me? And apologies to your boyfriend, but please do marry Chris March (re your PR post) and make my head explode from all that awesomeness... Oh, and I loved your photo (stop it with the chubby comments, you´re very cute, if I were a gay guy I´d totally go for you) and the video with the choreography. Like my kids like to say now, "whoop, whoop, yeah!"
6 of 10 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on August 25, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey J-mo!!! Just getting back to town and catching up! Sorry to see Daniel go, but happy to see Charlie jump up and down--don't know why that little tuck area is the sexiest part of a man, but hey, we've all got our things!!!
did you hear Billy Mays is going to have a reality show this season . . . . I'm sure it'll be the hit the Emeril never was . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, hate to see the show ending, but glad you've got the Tabby show to do . . . I hope to catch up soon!
Big Hugs!
7 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 26, 2008 4:38 PM
Did anyone else pick up on the fact that when the stylists walked into the photo shoot Nicole's dress was black as they walked through the door, then gray as the walked over to Rene, and then black again as he started talking??
8 of 10 | Posted by Kon4MIty | Posted on August 26, 2008 8:23 PM
kizarny... you are so totally right, it would have been interesting to watch Michael Gryuckko take apart Nekisa or Oshun (I'm totally sure Oshun would have pulled a Dr. Boogie and tried to tell Michael how to do the photo shoot since he's so experienced working in TV on "Passions")... Ackulades!
detinha... there is no way I could EVER go soft on Charlie (in fact, Charlie makes me EXTRA hard on him)... truth be told, if Charlie had put forth any fug I would have totally clocked it, but he won these last two weeks because he really did the best job (I think). You're right, he can take a jab or two (he HAS had to live with Lesbiana Dee, for Chrissakes!)...
bongofl... yes, Lady Jaclyn didn't look quite so plasticky last year, but time gets to all of us... at least we know she still has tear ducts!
rubinia... I'm gonna miss Dallas Daniel, too, it's too bad they didn't have a drag queen challenge like they did on Project Runway, because "Dallas Hayir" would SO have been the perfect way to go for that! :(
fire@will... thanks for the kind compliment! I agree, it wasn't exactly fair that they wet down only one model's hair, but then again, they had only one with that snow shit, and only one jumping on a trampoline and only one doing the swingy-thing... i guess they figured those were level-enough playing fields... I hope I meet Michael someday, I'd like to tell him how glad I am he's BEHIND the camera most of the time!
sayhuh... LOL, enjoy your vacation, TVgasm will be here when you get back and then you can see all the fabuliciousness. Thanks for the compliments (I am going to tell my boyfriend that Chris March has to be our third lover or something) and I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work (on several artistic fronts)... have a safe trip home!
juddfan... I totally KNEW you were gonna love that screen-cap... yeah I don't know what it is about underbelly, but I like it... and if Billy Mays is gonna have a reality show, then I want to have a chance to put some Oxi-Clean on his beard to get some of that damned blacky-inky dye out of it and see what his REAL hair color is...
Kon4Mity... Oh. My. God. I did NOT notice/pick up on that (and I had to watch that scene about six times in a row) but you are totally right, there is a major continuity error there... Nicole walks through the door in a black dress... the behind and above POV shot she is suddenly in a gray dress... the next shot from the front the gray dress has 4 black buttons in a square on the bodice... they cut to Rene Fris... when they cut back she's in the black dress again... OMG! Good catch and sharp eyes! WEird!
Thanks everyone for your positive support, we're almost at the end now... :(
love, J-Mo :)
xoxoxo
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:40 PM
Dear, sweet J-mo, just as I knew you would screen grab it when I watched that scene!!! So nice to have a sistah here, and I love, love, love the term underbelly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 11:08 AM