Now we're back to the Salon cutting room deliberations, and Jaclyn announces that the "safe" stylestants (read: "mediocre") tonight are Drag Queen Meredith, Lesbiana Dee, Exotic Nekisa and Dallas Daniel. Once they all get into the Salon's back room, Drag Queen Meredith immediately starts bitching, "I thought fer shure this tyime, tap THREE ayat LEEST!"...
...you can catch more flies with tranny-tongue than you can with honey...
Exotic Nekisa seems to just be happy she's not on the bottom of the pile again, but I get the feeling not much makes Drag Queen Meredith real happy. And you know, my good friend Garilyn pointed out to me who it is that she was separated at birth from...
...with the over-sculpted eyebrows and hard facial angles, she looks just like actress and John Waters' staple Mink Stole! Hmmm, I wonder if I should start calling her Minkideth Stole? Or stick with Drag Queen Meredith? Tell me your thoughts on this important issue O exalted Gasmii!
Back in the chopping chamber, Female Glenn is given a glowing review from the judging panel (although Kim Vo does get in a slightly bitchy little stab at the frizziness in her client's curls, but Glenn fends him off well, saying that if the hair is too smooth, it doesn't look like real hair... touché!)
They move on to Straight Guy Matthew, who immediately and quite stupidly admits that his client warned him her hair would not take curls, but that he was bound and determined that she would have them. His client looks like she'd like to elbow him in the nuts...
..."Please get this douchebag away from me and my poor non-curl-taking hair!"...
Mark Townsend immediately clocks Matthew's mistake by pointing out "Well, I think this is one time you really should have trusted your client, she knows her hair!" Female Glenn can't keep a rather satisfied smile off her face. Ooooh, Matthew's gonna like you even less, girl!
Next in line is Bitchy Charlie, who mentions again about all the color work he had to do. Kim Vo tells him that his execution was good, but that creatively, it's "questionable". Now it's Straight Guy Matthew's turn to smirk! Wipe that off your face, you tool!... at least Charlie's client's hair could hold a damn curl... BITCH?!? However, Mark Townsend and Alison Sweeney are both loving it, Mark is impressed that Charlie was able to do all that coloring and still manage to style it that well, and Alison believes it would stand up to an entire night of red carpeting! Charlie himself says "I really honestly think mine is the best... because I rocked the shit out of that color... okay?"
...Okay!!...
Next, Underdog Nicole gets nuked because of that random piece of unstyled hair. Kim Vo says that it's driving him crazy and Alison wants to know if Nicole meant to do that. Ooh girl, anytime they ask you that, then you know they hate it! Nicole, to her credit, owns up to the fact that she left it out on purpose and Kim Vo says he does not like "signature pieces of hair" and that it looks like it fell out and there wasn't time enough to roll it back in. Ouch! Looks like Lady Nicole's gonna be playing a bottom tonight!
They move on to Über-Gay Paulo's Hurricane Headed Ho... and right away Mark Townsend eerily echoes Charlie's earlier sentiments about it being more of a "runway" look than a "red carpet" look. Kim Vo calls the model over to examine the wreckage more closely and basically says the same thing, that Paulo misunderstood the difference between the two. Perhaps he should have kept in mind another famously wide hairdon't...
The judging moves on to Emo Gail, who smartly points out the connections between the dress construction and her hairstyle construction. Jaclyn likes the simplicity of it, and Mark wants a closer look. When he gets it, he cums in his undies some more and says he loves it. I think Gail's panties might be a tad damp at this point, too.
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Comments (7)
Is it just me or where is the rest of the recap?
1 of 7 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on July 13, 2008 12:12 PM
Hated most of the hair styles this week. And I lost count of the times I yelled for Matt to shut up. Loved your recap but what happened to the rest of it?
2 of 7 | Posted by skies | Posted on July 13, 2008 1:47 PM
Hey Gasmii! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed... my recap was actually TOO LONG for the publishing platform and the last part got cut off! However, do not fret, because I have just completed the remaining portion and it should be showing up quite soon. Sorry about that!
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 13, 2008 2:00 PM
OK, I'm only on page three and I'm already in pain from laughing so hard... I started about the time I was reading about the Pazzaz mousse (did it!) and I'm only up to the ping pong balls comment and I'm actually in pain.
J-Mo, you rock. :D
4 of 7 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 13, 2008 3:44 PM
Typo sorry - I was on page 4, and now I'm up to the 'head wider than it is tall' comment. .... dayum, J-Mo, you are the genius!
5 of 7 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 13, 2008 3:51 PM
teri00: But I'm NOT "Shear Genius"... only Charlie, Matthew, Dee & Daniel are so far!
But thank you just the same, I'm glad you're likin' it (and I'm also glad you got the ping-pong balls reference, I was afraid that one might be too obscure).
love,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:26 AM
"Here dey aaaa!"
Thanks for making me shoot Diet Dr. Pepper out of my nose at work! Your transcriptions of Rene are the best! You might just be my favorite recapper of all time, J-Mo!
7 of 7 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on July 15, 2008 10:30 AM