Testimonials

Jaclyn gives them an hour to complete the challenge, and says that the winner will get first client selection in the Elimination Challenge AND determine the selection order of the remaining stylestants! Oooh, to quote Dallas Daniel, "I cain't hardly wayit!" Of course, here comes the twist... they can't cut a single hair on the client's head!!! *record scratch* Oh snap!

This situation is especially disturbing to Über-Gay Paulo, who just wants to cut it all off (with a gay eye-roll thrown in for good measure), and is causing Drag Queen Meredith to lose her power of speech (but her stomach chimes in with a loudly audible going-oing-oingggg sound during her interview) and she is embarrassed. Her client has been growing out this mass of hair since the first grade, and DQ Meredith sez (with her heavy ChiCAHHgo AYICKsent coming through louder and clearer all the time) that she "heyad to use ivry bahhdy-part iMAYginible to separate the woman's hair!"... apparently including her feet! Ick!

Can I just take a moment out and ask why in the blue fuck someone would want to just grow and grow and grow their hair out for thirty years? Unless you actually ARE Crystal Gayle, it really serves no purpose other than to severely limit what kind of hairstyle you can have... you pretty much get to choose from either Dirty Hippie Earth Mama or Severe Laura Ingalls Bun. Plus, you get the joy of having to use an entire bottle of conditioner every time you wash it, waiting three days for it to fully dry, and probably having your scalp endure various shooting pains every time some random part of your hair gets caught on objects in your vicinity (such as your husband). Oh yeah, and it comes in handy when Bravo is having a reality TV show about hair stylists and they use you as part of a nightmare challenge.

...methinks Meredith would really like to put this foot in Rapunzel's ass...

Campbell is out mingling with the stylists... Straight Guy Matthew has adorned his client's head with soup cans and plans to do a massive mound of curls...

...Campbell's... Shear Genius Soup... Poss-i-bill-i-ties!...

Campbell asks him what accessories he's going to use, and Batty-Boy Matty says he's going to weave in a pearl necklace (and the joke just writes itself!) Campbell says to him that Dallas Daniel is also going to use pearls, and Matt snarls "But I picked 'em first, so he copied me!" and you can hear Daniel in the background saying "Ah saow those big pearls from th'SAYcond ah walked eein!" Ruh-roh! It's shaping up to be Battle Of The Dallas Pearl Up-Dos here in Shear Genius Stadium!

Mr. McShellacky moves on to Bitchy Charlie, who is explaining that he is doing a mix of Disney Princess and Audrey Hepburn, and Campbell immediately gives Charlie an aneurysm when he says his style is "looking a bit bridal."...

...Charlie offers to give Campbell a much-needed blow-job if he will just take back that "bridal" comment...

With only 16 minutes left, Charlie's gonna have to pull something spectacular out of thin air (or his ass) to tame this Bridezillastein he's created. Campbell's comment to Charlie has seemed to also unnerve Exotic Nekisa, and Lesbiana Dee tells us that she is nervous that Nekisa might lose focus... she goes on to say that Nekisa is "the only one that I can, you know, connect with... she's sweet, she's nice, she's a great girl, she's done good work... and she looks hot!" Heyyyy, wait a minute, Dee, I thought you had this "great girlfriend" back home!...

...I spy with slightly crossed-eyes the beginnings of a man-crush...

Trust, if anything is gonna cause Nekisa to "lose focus", it's going to be the sound of Lesbiana Dee breathing heavily behind her. Anyhow, Campbell asks what accessories Nekisa's going to use, and she realizes she hasn't picked any! God, girl, get your shit together or you're likely to find Dee creeping up on you to offer her special brand of "comfort" later on tonight at the beach house!

Meanwhile, Underdog Nicole seems to be struggling with her client's overly thin hair, and Campbell seems underwhelmed by her Bo-Derek-Jogging-In-A-Hurricane look...

...it's CHERRY HAIRIGAMI!!!...

And time is up! Let's get to the beautyyyyyyyyy bloodbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaath!

...they all look like the sexpot extras on Star Trek!!...

First up is Female Hating-Straight-Matthew-Club-President Glenn...

Glenn says she wanted to give her girl some height. I say "Mission: Accomplished!", she'll be crashing into lintels everywhere she goes! However, on the real side, I actually like what Glenn-Or-Glenda did, even if I can't get the words "Yeoman Rand" out of my head...

Next up is Exotic Focus-Losing Lesbian-Crush-Target Nekisa...

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Posted in Shear Genius , Shear Genius by J-Mo at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: rubinia on Jul 15, 2008 10:30 AM.