Girl, don't even try it with Campbell McCauley, after all, he has had to work with Christina Aguilera, and he don't play! I don't know why she's getting so snippy in the first place, it's Exotic Nekisa who winds up on the bottom... again! Nekisa admits in interview that she does NOT do well under pressure like she thought she would. But enough of her sadness, let's get on to the gladness, which is the winners! It's between Straight Guy Matthew and Bitchy Charlie... is Bald, Bespectacled and Beautiful going to pull off yet another Short Cut win? Drag Queen Meredith certainly hopes not, because she says "Charlie's looked like a drunken pram queen who was left without a date iat the end of the night!"...
...my guess is that a comment like that from Drag Queen Meredith falls under the category of "bitter personal experiences"...
But never fear Manedith, because today's Short Cut winner is Straight Guy Matthew! He immediately makes an odd comment, saying "It gave me a feeling that reminded me of the first time MY WIFE told me she loved me..." Huh? Winning an up-do hairstyle challenge is like being told someone loves you? I'll be the first to admit that I don't know a lot about hetero love rituals, but I'm pretty sure this is an atypical simile. He goes on to tell us (unprovoked) "MY WIFE and I own a hair salon in Dallas, I'm with her all the time for the last seven years, and she wants me to try my best, and that's what keeps me going every day. Today is my turn, and I'm gonna enjoy this moment, and I'm gonna remember how much MY WIFE loves me, and how much I love her, and no matter what that'll never change!" Okay, Matthew, God I believe you already, you love your wife, and she's all you ever think about (until you get your hands on the right penis besides your own, that is).
..."Dayum, but Daniel has a nice ass... Er, I mean, I LOVE MY WIFE!"...
Jaclyn congratulations Straight Guy Matthew, says he's Shear Genius, and reminds him that he gets both first choice of client at the Elimination Challenge and he gets to choose the order that the other stylestants get to choose their clients. This is striking fear in the heart of Female Glenn, because it's apparently been obvious that the two of them don't get along at all (I wonder if it's because her gaydar goes shrieking into the stratosphere whenever he comes around) and she thinks she and Drag Queen Meredith are going to wind up last to choose clients the next day... that is, unless Meredith does some good kissing up that night...
..."I reeeeeeally cain't staind Maytthew!" *swigs Haterade*...
So, is Drag Queen Meredith going to suck up to Matt tonight? "I think everybody is gonna suck up to Matt tonight!" Uh huh, we'll see. Back at the house, as they prepare for another night of Unwinding Via Alcohol Consumption, Meredith pipes up "We need to give Matt a toast... we really do!" Underdog Nicole slurs "Matt, getchur ass up here so I c'n drink 'n' toast to you!" In the interview, Nicole says "When we got back to the house Matt went straight to bed!" She neglects to mention whether or not he pilfered a pair of Paulo's undies to take with him. "Nobody got to talk to him because he was just like 'I'm goin' to bed!'" RIGHT after she says this, they cut to Dallas Daniel reading my mind and making masturbatory motions with his hand! Mm hmmm, Daniel knows what time it is... it's Jergens time!
...she bop, he bop a-we bop... I bop, you bop a-they bop...
Drag Queen Meredith takes it upon herself to go downstairs and barge into Matt's solitary pleasuring of himself. "I don't need a toast!" he says in that irritable tone of voice that people get when they've been interrupted in the act of jacking off. Or maybe that's just me (for realsies, don't call, don't come over, don't knock on the door... once I get on board the Solo Train, I'm riding it to the end of the line, and heaven help whoever tries to put the emergency brakes on!)
Anyhow, Meredith insists "Uh yeeah, we doo, I'm always meeking sure that you're iyncluded in the groop and thyat you're nat styanding out on the outskirts, you will come upstyeers yand you will take a bow, yand then you can come byack to your hole..."
..."Heyy, iys thyat 'Butt Boys In Space' you're watching on the lyaptap there?"...
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Comments (7)
Is it just me or where is the rest of the recap?
1 of 7 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on July 13, 2008 12:12 PM
Hated most of the hair styles this week. And I lost count of the times I yelled for Matt to shut up. Loved your recap but what happened to the rest of it?
2 of 7 | Posted by skies | Posted on July 13, 2008 1:47 PM
Hey Gasmii! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed... my recap was actually TOO LONG for the publishing platform and the last part got cut off! However, do not fret, because I have just completed the remaining portion and it should be showing up quite soon. Sorry about that!
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 13, 2008 2:00 PM
OK, I'm only on page three and I'm already in pain from laughing so hard... I started about the time I was reading about the Pazzaz mousse (did it!) and I'm only up to the ping pong balls comment and I'm actually in pain.
J-Mo, you rock. :D
4 of 7 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 13, 2008 3:44 PM
Typo sorry - I was on page 4, and now I'm up to the 'head wider than it is tall' comment. .... dayum, J-Mo, you are the genius!
5 of 7 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on July 13, 2008 3:51 PM
teri00: But I'm NOT "Shear Genius"... only Charlie, Matthew, Dee & Daniel are so far!
But thank you just the same, I'm glad you're likin' it (and I'm also glad you got the ping-pong balls reference, I was afraid that one might be too obscure).
love,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:26 AM
"Here dey aaaa!"
Thanks for making me shoot Diet Dr. Pepper out of my nose at work! Your transcriptions of Rene are the best! You might just be my favorite recapper of all time, J-Mo!
7 of 7 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on July 15, 2008 10:30 AM