Testimonials

So Matthew drags his unfulfilled ass back upstairs to decidedly lackluster applause from the other stylestants. They have their toast and Meredith says "And this is not a suck up, either, this is a genuine, genuine... *realizing no one believes her*... suck up!" It's a very awkward moment, and everybody laughs but Matthew. I'm jumping up and down on my couch and spilling Cheetos everywhere. Underdog Nicole truthfully says "You know, any other night, nobody cares if Matt's there or not! So, I was just already kind of, like, 'whatever'!" Matt's milking the moment for all he's worth, they give him the opportunity to say a little something in response to their half-hearted toast and he throws out that "Nope, I've got nothin' to say!" line again. What a tool. Nicole continues, "Well, then I expected him to go back downstairs... well, he didn't! Because Dee grabbed him aside and him and Dee sat there for a few minutes and were having a heart to heart..." I don't really think Dee was sucking up to him as much as I think they were comparing notes on how amazing it is to have the intense desire to have sex with women! Like his wife! Nicole doesn't stop there: "And then you have Daniel who pulled him aside, and was talking to him, and got to know him on a whole new level! Kissing up to somebody really isn't my thing, it's not my forté, so, um, to watch it, was, I felt kind of pathetic for them..." Truthfully, it did look pretty sorry to see people being so transparent, but that's why we love reality tv shows, so I say "Get your suck up and ON, stylestants!"

...Matthew relishes being one of the "cool kids" now (except they're all still talking shit about you behind your back, breeder-boy)...

It's the next day and time for the Elimination Challenge, and here's René Fris! "Hi-hi everyone!" he says, "For todayss challenn you will be styling hair awound dresses weminiscent to thowse ones onna red cahhpet!" Yes, it's "Red Carpet Hair" and the stylestants are really excited about it. To tell you the truth, I don't blame them, because this is a chance to really just do some pretty hair styling without all the handicaps and shit like that. René blathers on, "You will be judge on cweativity, difficoty of styhule, glamour... and how worthhy the styhule iz for de red cahhpet. You haff two hours and you should usse allll you time. Are you ready to meed you cliendz?" They all cheer! "Led's doo id!" and with that René rolls out a wardrobe rack with a bunch of dresses on it. "Here dey aaaa! You cliendz will be wayring deez beaudeeful dwesses. You eech will pig a dwess fwom de rack that belongss to you cliend. Afta you allll haff chozen, I bring you cliend out!"

...I would bet that René (and his amazing tits) could work the hell out of any one of these dresses...

René gives Straight Guy Matthew the opportunity to come over and choose the first dress. Ol' Matty seems to be having a tough time choosing, and he says "I'm trying to picture which one would look best on MY WIFE!" René immediately snaps back with "You wiffe is nod heer!" and all the others laugh, because the way he said it was dripping with a tone that says "I don'd beleef you reeally haff a wiffe Nancy-boy!" Matty, however, remains defiant, "I don't need their approval, you know, I'm happily married with a wonderful, gorgeous 'perfect 10' WIFE that loves me tremendously and I love her the same!"

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Posted in Shear Genius , Shear Genius by J-Mo at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: rubinia on Jul 15, 2008 10:30 AM.