Testimonials

René is over at Straight Guy Matthew's station and says "All the curlss you did... I jess saw you combing thaim oud... were they too motch?" Matthew starts stuttering and stammering out some kind of bullshit demurral and goes back to pointing to his Short Cut Challenge win, and saying how well that strategy worked out for him there. Paulo overhears this, and his reaction is priceless...

...how about a nice steaming cup of "I TOLD YOU SO!"???...

Yeah, it worked last time... on a completely different woman with completely different hair! Gee, Matthew sure is getting a lot of screen time this episode... I wonder if that doesn't bode too well for him? Hmmmmm. In order to diffuse some of his growing unease, Matthew decides to lash out at Bitchy Charlie by saying "How's it goin' over there Charlie? You gonna kick everybody's ass today again... BITCH?!?" WTF? Where is that coming from? The other stylestants, and even the clients are all making "ooooooooh!" faces, and Dallas Daniel pipes up "Them's FAIHTin' words!" Amazingly, Matthew continues his verbal rant and says "You wanna take it outside, BITCH?!?" Charlie knows just how to push Matthew out of his deluded comfort zone as he comes back quick as a whip with "Only if you're rough with me, baby!" and the entire salon cracks up. Under his breath Charlie mutters "I don't know what the hell that's about, either!" I'd say it's about Matthew being a huge tool, Charlie.

Über-Gay Paulo says as he finishes off his client's head full of hair "I think that definitely my style today will put me in the top three position, um, I'm pretty confident about it." Oh shit, that means he's going to suck! Charlie says "What Paulo did, it was not only tacky, but it was very 'hair show'. It's like, you guys, hair show is not red carpet... unless you're working on Björk!" Just wait 'til you see it, you won't believe it.

With only 15 minutes left, Straight Guy Matthew is starting to fill his FTLs with warm runny poo as he realizes he's fucked up royally. "I just wish I could have got those curls in the upper half of the hair to really hold a little bit better..." he says. Yeah... or, you know, at all. Well, you know, it's not really his fault, it's not like he had any warning that that was going to happen...

Oh wait. He did. In English. From the woman who has lived with her hair all her life. Matt's an idiot.

Well, it's time for the red carpet hair show, let the beauty bloodbath continuuuuuuuue! Jaclyn Smith welcomes the stylestants to the "Shear Genius Red Carpet Event". Back again is the eerily smiley Kim Vo, Today the guest stylist/uppity queen Jaclyn introduces is Mark Townsend, who has created red carpet hairstyles for Reese Witherspoon, Cate Blanchett and Natalie Portman. Yay Mark Townsend! And the "celebrity judge" that Dallas Daniel psychically divined was coming to meet him is best known for playing Sammie Brady on "Days Of Our Lives"... Alison Sweeney!

...no, I don't have the faintest idea who she is, either, but I don't watch daytime TV due to that pesky job I keep having to go back to...

Of course, Dallas Daniel has instantly gone over the edge, shrieking "Ah am so exSAHted, ah SHOOK when ah aaw her, because she's sew spaickTACulair... Ah feel lahk thayir's a CONNECTION with her!"...

...Yes, Alison, you can use this screen shot to go with the restraining order you'll eventually need to obtain...

A giant limo pulls up and thus begins the show!

Lesbiana Dee is up first, and she gushes that "It was really cool to see my hairstyle on the red carpet, it was fun, I was very proud of the work, the dress looked beautifully on my model and it was exciting!" I bet it was, cuz that dress was barely holding back her client's large firm round full breasts... I imagine Miss Dee's mouth might have been a tad dry watching the softcore sashaying going on... as for the hairstyle? Meh, it was an up-do, it looked nice enough, appropriate enough, but not really much to write home about.

And here's Straight Guy Matthew's brilliant work... *snort* In the studio pictures it looks waaaay better than it did on the red carpet, because he must have just pulled that curling iron out right before they snapped the shot. Here's how it held up when his client walked the red carpet...

...it looks like her own hair is attempting to strangle her for going out looking so limp and lifeless...

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Posted in Shear Genius , Shear Genius by J-Mo at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: rubinia on Jul 15, 2008 10:30 AM.