René wastes no time in having them choose their final "seeezabawx" so they can all gain a little inspiration for the challenge. Inside each one is a severed ear. Kidding, each one has a lock of hair... Bitchy Charlie gets blonde, Lesbiana Dee gets red and Underdog Nicole gets brunette. They all love what they've been assigned, and truth be told, I think each got their perfect shade. They're ready to get started... but René says they have to wait until tomorrow to meet their clients and select wardrobe... and dismisses them with the admonition they better bring all they've got the next day!
One last time at Casa De Malo Pelo... which feels like a house with almost all the children gone (except for the last three bitchiest and loudest kids who all have A.D.D. and never shut up)... Lesbiana Dee is smashing her portfolio into the kitchen island and screaming "Final THREE!" over and over again....
...Jeez, somebody get her a malt-liquor...
Underdog Nicole is grateful to have overnight to think about how she wants to go about finding her inspiration, and they show all three stylestants sitting down and studiously writing out their Chick-Flick Lifetime Stories Of Love™ Bitchy Charlie says that he's been at this for 20 years and has worked very hard to carve out an identity for himself in the industry, "I love my job and it's great, but... I need to be a little bit more famous... I want everybody to know who I am!" Trust, girlfriend, they're gonna know, whether they like it or not. On a side-note, it appears that Charlie is sketching Tabatha's hairstyle like he did when she was on the show earlier this season...
...remember this?...
Surprisingly, Lesbiana Dee says her story is about a young girl who is a sexy edgy rocker chick (shocking) and that she can see her in her head (I wonder if she looks like, oh, I don't know... Nekisa?!?). Dee says it's so close she can feel it, she can taste it. She forgot to mention that she can smell it, cuz I sure can, and I'm not even there with her in the interview, but girl, I think we need to have one of those "Do you ever feel, well, not so fresh?" conversations and get you some coochie spray, cuz your pheromones are workin' some overtime, honey!
The Final Three are all sitting in the mostly empty living room and talking about what the prize money means to them. Lesbiana Dee says that much money would be amazing because she grew up in poverty with her single mom T'Lar (being a Vulcan High Priestess does not pay very well) and that if she were to win she would use the money to move her mom closer to her. Awww, I love a sweet mom story (Christina Crawford's is one of my favorites) and Dee continues to fuck with my head by abandoning her Angry Man-Hating Lesbian Persona™ again. Tricky tricky, Dee... you just might swing me around yet!
...AND if you get rid of the trendy skunky fauxhawk we could totally be friends...
Underdog Nicole says she doesn't have a lot of money even now. Could it be that living in New York City has anything at all to do with that? (I know I couldn't even afford to be homeless there, people's cardboard boxes have designer labels fa Chrissake!) Nikki is just starting out and says she'd probably save and invest most of the money. She also brings up the fact that her parents have sacrificed a lot for her, and that she was a horrible student in school, so she might take them on a cruise to make it up to them. God, Nicole, keep shit like that quiet, willya? I was a horrible student, too, and If my mom catches wind that there are cruises to be had as guilt-gifts for slacking off during high school then I will never hear the fucking end of it! (My mom loooooooves the cruises, and curiously enough, she has never once invited me along on one of them, so I'm going to cherish all my hard-earned C's, D's and F's all that much more, so there!)
...thanks for further poisoning my parental relationships, Nicole, I 'preshate ya!...
« I Love Money: Stab Wound | Main | Chickbomb's Deep Thoughts On The New 90210 »
Comments (14)
J-Mo your recaps are hilarious. When you mentioned the Catshit lady I snorted I was laughing so hard.
I can't wait to read your Top Design recaps (last season was a giant bucket of crazy, so here's hoping Bravo got some more nutjobs) and I love the Salon Takeover ones.
I also got pissed that Dee won but she did a much better job on this particular challenge than Charlie. He can style hair wonderfully but his styles didn't seem to fit what they were supposed to be doing. He gave them movie set hair, not hair they would wear off the set (except for the oldest woman who I thought looked fantastic).
1 of 14 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on August 30, 2008 12:26 AM
J-Mo;
Another great recap! However, I think that Dee's 60 year old should be named Mama Crackles instead. That bat-shit crazy squirrel has to be the spawn of this gal.
Overall, I think Charlie was definately the best hairdresser and I am disappointed that he didn't win, but perhaps it's for the best. Just like American Idol, sometimes the almosts ultimately do much better than the winners.
I also very much enjoyed your Taking Over recap. Tabatha is just the SHIT and I love watching her kick ass. I thought she should have went much farther last season, but it looks like she got a much better "ultimate prize" than the $100 G's. Do her justice!!
Looking forward to reading your covers of Top Design as well. Judging by last year, there should be much fodder for your recaps.
Lots O' Love!
2 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on August 30, 2008 8:15 AM
did anyone notice that dee was wearing the same outfit in the elimination that 12 pack from i love money wore at HIS elimination this week!!!
3 of 14 | Posted by aman | Posted on August 30, 2008 10:38 AM
Your recaps were the real SHEAR GENIUS.
Charlie was robbed.
4 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 30, 2008 11:12 AM
Thanks for the great recap, J-mo!
I'm happy Dee won, at least she'll do something nice with her money.
Looking forward for the Salon TakeOver recap!
xoxoxo
5 of 14 | Posted by Detinha | Posted on August 30, 2008 5:47 PM
Loved the recap.
I think shows like this should take past winnings into consideration. Dee sucked most of the time while Charlie(I think)had the most wins.
The misspelling of Avant Garde was too funny...Spell check anyone?
Is it just me or does Rene pose like a cheerleader ready for her routine? Hands on hips, ready, go!!
6 of 14 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 31, 2008 12:08 PM
aman:
By sheer luck (hmm ... good or bad?) I happened to see 12-pack getting eliminated and thought he looked stoopid in the black shirt, white tie and red jacket - and totally noticed that Dee wore the exact same combo. I guess we know what other show SHE likes to watch and take her fashion inspiration from! LOL!
7 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 1, 2008 9:09 AM
aman:
By sheer luck (hmm ... good or bad?) I happened to see 12-pack getting eliminated and thought he looked stoopid in the black shirt, white tie and red jacket - and totally noticed that Dee wore the exact same combo. I guess we know what other show SHE likes to watch and take her fashion inspiration from! LOL!
8 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 1, 2008 9:09 AM
hm, methinks i waited a while to read this because i'm that depressed that it (and your supersnarky recaps) are over. sob!
super-cute points for:
-a tom collicchio mention. mmmm, rawr.
-the convo between rene fris and dee. amazing.
-being the cutest thing ever. always.
and now, on to tabatha's takeover! :o) thanks for the great season, love!
9 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 12:51 PM
p.s. i agree, charlie was robbed. ROBBED.
10 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 12:52 PM
Boooo! I was hoping Charlie would have won. This season was way more entertaining than last year. And J-Mo, your recaps are awesome. The longer the better. Ahem.
Holy crap, Dee and 12 Pack DID have the same outfit on! I did not catch that.
My favorite part of this episode was Rene explaining to the styliss, "You have thwee hours for this challenge. Wead my lips. Thwee hours." If only we could read those lips, Rene. I will miss good ol Rene. Maybe he could be a very special guest star on Salon Takeover? One can only hope.
11 of 14 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:06 AM
Sob, I'll miss these recaps, Jmo!!!! sniff, but I'll be tuning in for the others--I'm glad you got me watching the show, as it was fun, esp since bitchy charlie stayed bitchy. I did think his final styles where pretty wonk, sadly, they all looked old world old, you know how Doris Day was probably 20 but she looks like a 40 year old from today, same for men, like a Cary Grant . . . maybe just the styles, but alas, I did feel for LD when she was crying how it wasn't going how she planned, and I liked Cackles the Clown, she seemed a hoot, esp with the gentle prodding, "but I have roots, um they're going to show"--I was ready for her to say, hand me that dye!!!! Honestly, 3 hours . . . ahem . . . I'd really rather see them get a proper amount of time and then fail because they suck and not coz they were rushed.
Gwen Stephanie my ass, that was prom photo circa 1940's . . . and the Scarlet one, altho a big improvement, still didn't look good.
As for D--the 30 year old music star looked like Amy Grant in the 80's, and the girl crying about the length . . . should'a saved them fightin' words for the bangs . . . Great catch on the Cher cover!!!
Much love and many kisses!!!!
12 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 3, 2008 1:55 PM
Huh? Wha? Dee? Or is it my jet lag playing tricks with my mind? No matter, I guess after Drag Queen Meredith, Paulo and Daniel left, I didn't care who won. Not that I liked their hairstyles (actually, I don't think I liked that many hairstyles in the entire run of the show), I just liked them. So of course they wouldn't have won the fan favorite award, either, I guess. Man, I have so much to catch up on. I just watched the one where Nekisa got booted! Yay! Anyway, J-Mo, thanks for all your hilarious recaps and sweet comments to all your fans. I am really looking forward to the Top Design recaps, and I enjoyed reading the Salon Takeover with Albino Ferret-Face recap. Catch you next week!
13 of 14 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on September 4, 2008 8:40 PM
Wow, thank all you guys for all your comments this season, it's been so much fun, and I really hope they start to do "Shear Genius" with the regularity that they're doing "Top Chef" and "Project Runway", it's hard to wait 18 months in between shows...
BTW, guys, keep your eyes open later for my special Q&A with Charlie Price... coming soon!
love always,
J-Mo :)
14 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 5, 2008 11:02 AM