For the 30-year-old, she says she's released her first CD and now she wants a man, so she's looking for something "a little sexier". This doesn't look any different than what the girl had before (other than darker and curlier, but the styling is the same, down to the scalp parting!). Trés innovative, Dee! I don't see a chart-topping super-star, I see a slutty dentist's office receptionist...
Wow, she turned her 45-year-old into a Cher impersonator! If you don't believe me, look at this...
Dee calls her client "40-ish" which gets a widening of the eyes from the woman, and Dee says she's more high-maintenance now but can also afford to have her hair done more often. Good, she should go have it re-done right now...
And last we have Granny Cackles (or "Mama Red" as Lesbiana Dee keeps insisting on calling her... I like my nickname better). For real? What. The. Fuck. Dee calls this woman a "true redhead" (except we know that it's totally fake nuclear color that would never be found in nature except in a parallel universe) and says that she went back to her "natural texture" (which is "lunatic") and that the woman is "enjoying her grandkids". Yes, I imagine she is enjoying them, baked in a pie and paired with a nice white zin. Do you know of very many little children who would let this woman get within three feet of them?
...I would prefer a close-up of Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser to this beat-up mug...
Oh, and by the way, fuck you Bravo Polling, just wait until you see the fug that Nicole perpetrated tonight...
Anyhow, Linda Wells likes the 18-year-olds cut, she thinks Dee showed a great "variety" of styling. She hasn't seen the other 9 weeks of the same cut and styling, so she's a tad uninformed on this one. Jaclyn likes Granny Cackles' look, she thinks this crazy batwoman carries it off with a sense of life and vivaciousness (as Granny looks even more embalmed with her death's head rictus grin and her sharp teeth). Time for new contacts, Jaclyn! Nobody really mentions 30's receptionist or 40's Cher. Nobody really critiqued her shit, either! This looks suspicious.
Oh well, time for Bitchy Charlie!
Bitchy Charlie goes on to tell the story of his child-star who grew up and starred as an 18 year old in a 40's period piece. Like South Pacific. With a younger Meg Ryan. In big swoopy hair. I find the shape fascinating (how does it stay like that? Charlie really must know magic!) but the style is kinda weird for someone who's still a teenager and NOT doing the school musical set during World War II in the Pacific War Theatre...
Moving on towards 30, Charlie says she has now won her first Oscar and is like Scarlet Johannssen and wearing very retro styles. I get more of a Catherine O'Hara feel, and it seems like a younger style than 18-year-old Meg Ryan had. Strange...
For his 45-year-old, Bitchy Charlie says she's starring in a suspense role, and this is her hair from the movie. I think it looks very clean and neat. Charlie also points out the 60's color job he did on her...
Last up, the 60-year-old is wearing the short'n'choppy cut as she directs her first film. Charlie calls it a "fresh, young, serious artist" look. Too bad she doesn't look fresh or young (but I get loads of serious). Still, it is an interesting variation on the helmet-head that so many seniors go for these days, and I could see this lady as that one older co-worker in your office who is stuck with filing all day long, but still wears a super-smart, sharp, killer wardrobe every day (but who also probably drinks daquiris at lunchtime, too).
Kim Vo takes first crack as he compliments Charlie's "color story" (and really, you can tell this guy knows his coloring, because they all look super-sleek) but then says "What kills me is I want to put rice and beans right in the middle of that and stuff that hair, 'cuz it just annoys me to no end, that hole!"
...Ella quiere Taco Bell!...
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Comments (14)
J-Mo your recaps are hilarious. When you mentioned the Catshit lady I snorted I was laughing so hard.
I can't wait to read your Top Design recaps (last season was a giant bucket of crazy, so here's hoping Bravo got some more nutjobs) and I love the Salon Takeover ones.
I also got pissed that Dee won but she did a much better job on this particular challenge than Charlie. He can style hair wonderfully but his styles didn't seem to fit what they were supposed to be doing. He gave them movie set hair, not hair they would wear off the set (except for the oldest woman who I thought looked fantastic).
1 of 14 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on August 30, 2008 12:26 AM
J-Mo;
Another great recap! However, I think that Dee's 60 year old should be named Mama Crackles instead. That bat-shit crazy squirrel has to be the spawn of this gal.
Overall, I think Charlie was definately the best hairdresser and I am disappointed that he didn't win, but perhaps it's for the best. Just like American Idol, sometimes the almosts ultimately do much better than the winners.
I also very much enjoyed your Taking Over recap. Tabatha is just the SHIT and I love watching her kick ass. I thought she should have went much farther last season, but it looks like she got a much better "ultimate prize" than the $100 G's. Do her justice!!
Looking forward to reading your covers of Top Design as well. Judging by last year, there should be much fodder for your recaps.
Lots O' Love!
2 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on August 30, 2008 8:15 AM
did anyone notice that dee was wearing the same outfit in the elimination that 12 pack from i love money wore at HIS elimination this week!!!
3 of 14 | Posted by aman | Posted on August 30, 2008 10:38 AM
Your recaps were the real SHEAR GENIUS.
Charlie was robbed.
4 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 30, 2008 11:12 AM
Thanks for the great recap, J-mo!
I'm happy Dee won, at least she'll do something nice with her money.
Looking forward for the Salon TakeOver recap!
xoxoxo
5 of 14 | Posted by Detinha | Posted on August 30, 2008 5:47 PM
Loved the recap.
I think shows like this should take past winnings into consideration. Dee sucked most of the time while Charlie(I think)had the most wins.
The misspelling of Avant Garde was too funny...Spell check anyone?
Is it just me or does Rene pose like a cheerleader ready for her routine? Hands on hips, ready, go!!
6 of 14 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 31, 2008 12:08 PM
aman:
By sheer luck (hmm ... good or bad?) I happened to see 12-pack getting eliminated and thought he looked stoopid in the black shirt, white tie and red jacket - and totally noticed that Dee wore the exact same combo. I guess we know what other show SHE likes to watch and take her fashion inspiration from! LOL!
7 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 1, 2008 9:09 AM
aman:
By sheer luck (hmm ... good or bad?) I happened to see 12-pack getting eliminated and thought he looked stoopid in the black shirt, white tie and red jacket - and totally noticed that Dee wore the exact same combo. I guess we know what other show SHE likes to watch and take her fashion inspiration from! LOL!
8 of 14 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 1, 2008 9:09 AM
hm, methinks i waited a while to read this because i'm that depressed that it (and your supersnarky recaps) are over. sob!
super-cute points for:
-a tom collicchio mention. mmmm, rawr.
-the convo between rene fris and dee. amazing.
-being the cutest thing ever. always.
and now, on to tabatha's takeover! :o) thanks for the great season, love!
9 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 12:51 PM
p.s. i agree, charlie was robbed. ROBBED.
10 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 12:52 PM
Boooo! I was hoping Charlie would have won. This season was way more entertaining than last year. And J-Mo, your recaps are awesome. The longer the better. Ahem.
Holy crap, Dee and 12 Pack DID have the same outfit on! I did not catch that.
My favorite part of this episode was Rene explaining to the styliss, "You have thwee hours for this challenge. Wead my lips. Thwee hours." If only we could read those lips, Rene. I will miss good ol Rene. Maybe he could be a very special guest star on Salon Takeover? One can only hope.
11 of 14 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:06 AM
Sob, I'll miss these recaps, Jmo!!!! sniff, but I'll be tuning in for the others--I'm glad you got me watching the show, as it was fun, esp since bitchy charlie stayed bitchy. I did think his final styles where pretty wonk, sadly, they all looked old world old, you know how Doris Day was probably 20 but she looks like a 40 year old from today, same for men, like a Cary Grant . . . maybe just the styles, but alas, I did feel for LD when she was crying how it wasn't going how she planned, and I liked Cackles the Clown, she seemed a hoot, esp with the gentle prodding, "but I have roots, um they're going to show"--I was ready for her to say, hand me that dye!!!! Honestly, 3 hours . . . ahem . . . I'd really rather see them get a proper amount of time and then fail because they suck and not coz they were rushed.
Gwen Stephanie my ass, that was prom photo circa 1940's . . . and the Scarlet one, altho a big improvement, still didn't look good.
As for D--the 30 year old music star looked like Amy Grant in the 80's, and the girl crying about the length . . . should'a saved them fightin' words for the bangs . . . Great catch on the Cher cover!!!
Much love and many kisses!!!!
12 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 3, 2008 1:55 PM
Huh? Wha? Dee? Or is it my jet lag playing tricks with my mind? No matter, I guess after Drag Queen Meredith, Paulo and Daniel left, I didn't care who won. Not that I liked their hairstyles (actually, I don't think I liked that many hairstyles in the entire run of the show), I just liked them. So of course they wouldn't have won the fan favorite award, either, I guess. Man, I have so much to catch up on. I just watched the one where Nekisa got booted! Yay! Anyway, J-Mo, thanks for all your hilarious recaps and sweet comments to all your fans. I am really looking forward to the Top Design recaps, and I enjoyed reading the Salon Takeover with Albino Ferret-Face recap. Catch you next week!
13 of 14 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on September 4, 2008 8:40 PM
Wow, thank all you guys for all your comments this season, it's been so much fun, and I really hope they start to do "Shear Genius" with the regularity that they're doing "Top Chef" and "Project Runway", it's hard to wait 18 months in between shows...
BTW, guys, keep your eyes open later for my special Q&A with Charlie Price... coming soon!
love always,
J-Mo :)
14 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 5, 2008 11:02 AM