Testimonials

René says they all have 2 and a half hours to complete their interpretation of these iconic styles and then tells them to "Go shake it!" Which I've never understood. Shake what? Their scissors? The curling iron? The crimper? Maybe he means the blow dryer! Fuck if I know.

Underdog Nicole runs into trouble right away. Jem was a neon rock star superhero in the 80's, her hair was all about nuclear-bright candy colors. Nicole's bitch of a client wants this to be "subtle", so she's refusing to let Nicole color her hair anything louder than airport-carpet-red. This is freaking Nicole out, because she doesn't know how she's going to pull off Jem without going over-the-top... Poor Nicole...

Meanwhile, René is trying to help Oshun out by suggesting that he put some highlights in his chunky client's thin hair. Oshun nods emphatically while running over to the coloring station, where he admits under his breath that he has just fucked up the girl's coloring badly... they cut to showing her with a neon blue streak coming out of her hair... wait, he got Lucy, not Marge Simpson, right? Get it together, Oshun! Remember, you were going to step up your game!!!

Nekisa is telling René that she wants to do Lucy, the "college age" version. She immediately makes herself a liar by putting in terrible orange raccoon-tail stripes in her client's jet-black hair. She is realizing as she is taking off the coloring foil that she has fucked up royally, and, in her own words "Oh my Gooood, this looks like shiiiit!" Her client can tell something is wrong, because Nekisa is apologizing to her. Man, I hope these ladies get paid at least 1K for letting these people fuck up their hair!

Meanwhile, Charlie, who has Marge Simpson, is busy rubbing blue and blonde hair extensions into a ball that he's going to somehow use around a latticework of bobby pins he has constructed to get the height of Marge Simpson's beehive.

Straight Guy Matthew, who also has Marge Simpson, is having to "lift out" the black in his client's hair (who happens to be Asian, and as we've learned earlier in the evening, Asian hair is very hard to work with) and then "bring up" the blue. René asks Matthew if maybe he took too much on trying to color hair that dark? Matthew looks scared, and you won't believe what his end product looks like...

The time keeps ticking away until the 2 & a half hours are up, and now it's time for the very first "hair show"! Jaclyn Smith introduces the other regular panel judge, Kelly Atterton...

...who is the West Coast Editor of Allure magazine. I guess the East Coast Editor can only work on Project Runway? And today's guest judge is a wispy little guy named Neeko...

...whom Jaclyn says is a "celebrity stylist" for Halle Berry, Charlize Theron and Pink! Yay for Pink! I'll bet Neeko knows how to dye hair pink, too! Let the judging begin!

First out of the box is Dallas Daniel, and I have to admit, the big swoopy style he did was very Wilma Flintstone...

Next up is Emo Gail's Wilma. She looks sad, too. Like she did up her hair for her senior prom and her date stood her up. Awww. Giant toilet roll curls like that should not be wasted sitting at home!

Then we have Underdog Nicole's Jem... she got around her bitchy client's refusal to color her hair by using colored hair extensions! Yay! But wait, if they could use colored hair extensions, why did some of them wind up freaking out so much about coloring the hair itself?!?!? Hmmmm.... at least I totally get Jem from this look, although the client did this really spazztastic "Jem pose" when she lurched her way down the runway to present her style. It was totally lame...

However, Female Glenn's version seemed to be a lot lamer... it looked like a soccer mom's variation on Meg Ryan, circa 1998 with pink tips. This screams "I'm trying desperately to remain hip and cool, but I'm FAILING!!!" Ugh. And she did this with her eyes open. Both of 'em!

Next up was Exotic Nekisa, who had had such a terrible time with the coloring, but somehow she had fixed it up so those errors were not apparent, and the look actually was kinda cute, it really did look to me like an update of Lucy Van Pelt. Go Nekisa!

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Posted in Shear Genius by J-Mo at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: SomeBunnyHatesYou on Aug 8, 2008 08:27 PM.