Testimonials

Which brought us around to the unfortunate Lucy by Oshun. He had these two weird twisty pigtails on the back, and the rest just looked limp and lifeless. It wasn't a hot mess... it was a cold one.

Straight Guy Matthew's supposed Marge Simpson was totally and completely FUBAR because it was Peggy Bundy meets Margaret Cho in 1992. Awful, but funny as hell (I'm sure Margaret won't be laughing when she sees it). I'd say that was a big ol' MISS THE MARK for Matthew...

Bitchy Charlie on the other hand, seemed to hit dead on with his almost too-literal interpretation of Marge... his whole use of the bobby-pin framework and the blue hair extensions was pretty damn ingenius... and really, how else are you gonna do Marge Simpson except in a literal translation... just scroll back to see Peggy Cho with her blue-black hair and you can see which one brings Marge to mind, first...

Also in the literal translation category for Betty Boop was Parker The Prick... which I have to say, he did get the look pretty spot on, but when you looked at her hair close up, there was 67 pounds of product holding it completely still. She'd probably get cut if she ran her hands over it...

Lesbiana Dee's version of Betty Boop, however, made liberal use of the toilet-roll curl as well (she called them "pin curls" but I still say "Charmin curls" is more accurate) and that severe center-part wasn't doing her client's scalp any favors, either.

Paulo's version of Judy Jetson looked more like Trashy MySpace Slut with Highlights™ and I lost any resemblance or inspiration of futuristic retro-teen hair at all...

...while Meredith, on the other hand, got that big ol' swoop in there (seriously, that hair was teased to within an inch of it's life, and I'm betting it was bulletproof, too). I think she got it right, though...

And so our judges deliberated and asked a few questions of the stylists. Neeko apparently doesn't like hair that's too stiff, so he didn't like Dallas Daniel's Wilma for that reason (he kept harping on it, while Daniel told him "Ah'm from Dallas, Ah keep hayirspray in mah baick pocket!") and they seemed really impressed with Nekisa's effort. Eventually they dismissed Nicole, Glenn, Meredith, Parker, Dee and Paulo, saying that they were neither the best, nor the worst. Yay for mediocrity!

It just so happened that they kept back both Marges, both Lucys and both Wilmas. They liked Charlie's Marge, while Matthew's was horrible. They liked Nekisa's Lucy, while Oshun's was shunned (oooh, snap!) and they liked Daniel's Wilma, while Gail's was just wilted. And the winner today was....

...Dallas Daniel!!!! Jaclyn proclaimed his work to be "Shear Genius"!... Yay, Daniel! But now it was time to announce who had made their last cut among Matthew, Gail and Oshun... and it was Oshun who was sent to pack his scissors (as the judges called his style "undone", "unfinished" and "unfocused"....

BUT I RHYME!!!!

...of course, as he was leaving the room, Oshun chose to go the classy route by muttering "This is bullshit, man!" within earshot of the judging panel. Nice going. Don't these people realize that a show like this might be of some interest to people in the hair styling industry, and to allow yourself to be seen acting childishly might not bode well for future employment within that industry? In his final interview Oshun tries to play it off like sucking really bad was actually his original and intentional plan as he bullshits "My strategy was to downplay my great work for maybe one or two challenges, then I was gonna blow 'em out the water... but it backfired on me... Oshun got washed out!", and then, thankfully for the last time we hear "I'm Oshun... and I'm deep!"

One last thing... earlier in the competition, when his blindfolded cut was being critiqued by Kim Vo, Bitchy Charlie had said something about "At least it still looks better than any of the Real Housewives Of Orange County!" and Jaclyn and Kim Vo shared another one of their knowing glances... because it looks like this week the "clients" are going to be.... the Real Housewives Of Orange County!!!! OOOH, I can't wait for this next episode!

P.S. It does look like Kate Jackson is going to be a guest judge at some point this season, too... Maybe they will have an Angels reunion....? Let's all hope!

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Posted in Shear Genius by J-Mo at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: SomeBunnyHatesYou on Aug 8, 2008 08:27 PM.