Kim just fucking blasts Nekisa for the hair not even moving as the girl walks up, he sees holes, and then he asks Bitchy Charlie what he thinks about it, and Charlie immediately responds with "I hate it!" to which Nekisa responds "Of course!' Yeah, well Kim Vo also just got done saying that it sucks, too, so it's not like Charlie's just being "bitchy without merit" you scag. Jaclyn finishes off by saying it lacks movement, life, shine and condition... so basically it's corpse hair. Way to go Nekisa!
Kim goes after Lesbiana Dee next and makes her spell out that she didn't have anything to do with the Farrah. Kelly Atterton asks her if she stands behind the Farrah, and Lesbiana Dee completely immolates her image by bitchily snapping "I don't stand behind any of the Farrahs!"
Excuse me? Did anyone ask you to? Of course you're not going to stand behind hair work done by another team, you cross-eyed pint-sized hard-faced poonhound, but you couldn't stand not to take an insulting shot at the other teams just the same? Cheesus, talk about class-free! My mouth just dropped open, so I had to put another beer in there. Lesbiana Dee also just earned herself some hatred looks from Paulo. I feel you, girl, this bitch is demonic!
Let's move on to Dallas Daniel and Über-Gay Paulo. Kim Vo flat out says of their Kate Jackson Severe Bob "We've seen this cut for the fifth time in these challenges... I'm over the cut!" and Jaclyn is nodding gravely. She brings up Paulo's wig win from last week and says "That had movement... that was very reminiscent of Farrah. It didn't look like a hairstyle, and that's what Farrah's hair was, it was bigger than life, wasn't it Kate? And you never knew where it would land..."
Kate Jackson jumps in with "Never knew when it would be in front of your face and the camera couldn't see you! Never knew when!"
Jaclyn comes back with "We didn't even know we had hair, did we?"
Kate agrees, "You know the whole crew had to stop one day because the two of them (gesturing to Jaclyn and Invisible Farrah) had their heads over brushing their hair upside down... I just kinda said, 'Hey guys... be quiet and let the money brush the hair!'... and I don't think they ever knew what it meant!" Wow, this is some longtime simmering anger coming through here... and also television gold...
...still bitter after all these years...
Jaclyn has been trying to be nice, but she comes back with "No, I didn't know you said that until years later!" and her look seems to be one of warning....
..."Don't fuck with me, Kate... I've been selling clothes at K-Mart for years so I know how to cut a bitch!"...
They move on to Female Glenn and Underdog Nicole's work. Glenn says Nicole is a strong cutter, and she's a strong colorist, and that Nicole did Jaclyn, while she did Kate, and the both of them (plus Charlie) did Farrah. Kelly Atterton asks Charlie if he saw them doing anything that he wanted to change, and he pipes up that he wanted something different for the Jaclyn look because he was afraid it looked "too old". Oh snap! Kim wants a closer look and demands to know who is responsible for the toilet-roll curls... Glenn does the stand-up thing and says she did that. Kim wants to know why they didn't use the hair-pieces they were given to beef up what the clients already had, and Glenn honestly says they just ran out of time.
It's Kelly Atterton's turn to assassinate as she flat out states "This is not a style that we would ever have on the pages of Allure Magazine! I mean, it's limp, it looks like there's been an attempt to put volume in there but it didn't hold up at all!" Ouch, even Paulo, Daniel, Dee and Nekisa are wincing now! Glenn looks like a deer in the headlights... of a 747.
And with that, Jaclyn dismisses them all, reminding them that the only person safe is Charlie. After everyone is out of there Jaclyn sounds very upset that everyone sucked so bad and says she wouldn't have worn any of those styles at all, that they were all caricatures! When Jaclyn asks Kate if she would wear any of these styles, Kate responds with a very dry "Don't ask me that..." Kim Vo is amazed (like I was) that none of them used Jaclyn's current hairstyles as inspiration. Oh my God, Kim and I shared an exact same thought! Maybe I'm a gayxie, too! Let me check...
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Comments (11)
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
1 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
2 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
I heart Kate Jackson!
Great recap!!!!!
3 of 11 | Posted by silver | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:24 AM
Hilarious recap, J-Mo! God, how is Nekisa still there??!?
4 of 11 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:29 AM
IMO Nekisa remains because she makes better TV than the ones who go.
Based on your screen caps, IMO Kate and Jaclyn both look fabulous.
Don't watch it, but your recaps are priceless! Thanks!
5 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 2, 2008 9:08 AM
Funny, funny recap. The quotes under the pics are priceless...Dairy Queen hairstyle..LOL. You took no prisoners this week.
Our Nekisa is the cockroach of the Shear Genius war. It's the only explaination to why she's still there.
6 of 11 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:53 PM
oh j-mo...
when you say things like, "you cross-eyed pint-sized hard-faced poonhound," and "My mouth just dropped open, so I had to put another beer in there," you make me laugh so hard that i get nervous looks from my colleagues and quickly have to minimize the tvgasm window so i look like i'm actually just incredibly amused by my work.
fire@will--totally agree. nekisa is there because they are hoping she will continue to say ridiculous, unfounded things about how it's everybody/thing's fault except for hers that she blows fat cock.
did anyone else think that both nekisa and charlie were slurring a pretty ridiculous amount during that whole fight? i mean honestly how many drinks had they consumed at that point? it was like watching a couple of completely cracked out bitches in a backwoods bar fight over a man who's already snuck out the back door.
now, this episode deals with an issue i take with pretty much every bravo show i've ever watched: the fact that they do not look at a contestant's entire body of work, but just the work on that episode, when deciding who goes home. i feel like there should be more attention paid to continuing suckage. after last season's top chef, i've named this "the lisa conundrum." if someone is ALWAYS in the bottom, please just get rid of them. please. it hurts, it really does.
this is why tabatha should be a regular judge. she never would have stood for this crap. ooh let's have her takeover nekisa's salon!!!
7 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 4, 2008 11:14 AM
Thanks for the awesome comments you guys! As always, I love to see what you think, and I'm excited for this week's show tomorrow night...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex... (déjà vu!)
silver... I heart tvgasm readers along with Kate Jackson...
LeeH... thank you for the kind compliment, and I believe that Nekisa is also benefitting from the Power Of Lesbiana Protection... since the producers have a partial hand in who goes and who stays I'm guessing they're all afraid Dee's gonna cut 'em!
fire@will... Yes, Nekisa does give us somebody to hate on (I thought that role was going to be Charlie's but he's turning out to be a chunky bald angel who's just kinda bitchy sometimes). I also agree with you that Jaclyn and Kate both look pretty damn good... it's kinda sad that Farrah is so busted-looking nowadays (and I KNOW she has cancer, but she's had no excuse for her pre-cancer days... well, at least not one you could publish without getting sued over). As always, I am willing to watch and help guide so you don't have to if you don't want to... kissy-smoochies!
skies... yes, I probably seemed a tad bitter this week (hence no prisoners) but I really get tired of overbearing lesbianas on TV telling everybody what to do all the time (*cough*oprah*cough*). At least when Daniel, or Paulo, or Charlie is gonna say something not so kind about someone else, they give it a healthy dash of bitchy, cutting humor... Dee just sounds pissed off whenever things don't go her way. She will probably come find me and kill me if she ever finds these recaps. I may be living on borrowed time. Excuse me while I go get drunk for a bit...
mrsdaddytom... you are too kind! I laugh a lot at tvgasm.com, too, and sometimes I have had the same reaction from coworkers as well. I'm glad it's not just me (spread the word to your friends, the world needs more laughter) and if you can pull it off where your work can be construed as amusing that is amazing! I have a rougher time with that as MY work consists of claims adjudication for Medicare D. Yeah. Not so amusing. Damn!
I did find it interesting how drunk both Nekisa and Charlie seemed to be while they were fighting, which could explain why he seemed so blasé about her attacks... I know when *I* get a good buzz going I don't really care about much (other than wondering "did I just pee myself???... Hmmmmm.")
And yes, I agree sometimes I think they should take previous work into account... at least on certain challenges... I think these awful people who hang on week after week because someone sucks a little bit more than they do gives them some kind of false impression of their skills... I know Lisa seemed to think she was a hot-shit chef after she made it to the finals, ignoring all the other horrid garbagey food she served in the preceding 13 weeks. Nekisa probably thinks she's a bad-ass hair-burner after surviving to be in the top 6 (out of 12!!!! GAWD that's depressing!).
Thank all of you for your comments, I love it love it love it!
lovin' it,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
8 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 5, 2008 8:24 AM
Thanks for the recap, J-mo!!!! I for one thought all the wacky colors were ridonk, except the vaginal bird of paradise . . . is it the lesbian in me? Charlie's was a soft serve yogurt with swirls of flavors--just a wrong style for sporty bright colors . . . His winning was like a fix, I totally think he's in the producers pocket, and probably knows why they keep Excusa!!! Don't get me wrong, I think Charlie's one of us, except he says it out loud.
Funny to see Jaclyn soooo disappointed, and Kate was completely useless, but a hoot none the less, with no opinion on anything, not even cleverly disguised as a Nina Garcia "no comment"
Call me crazy, as usual, but I did not think Jaclyn or Kate's hair on Angels was iconic . . . at all, esp. not Kate's!!! But I do feel for her getting all the botched bobs as interpretation!!! Her hair looks lovely now, and more modern than Jaclyn . . . and J-mo, I think the reason Farrah looks all washed up is she waited to long to do a little maintainence, so by the time she got to pulling there was just too much to tug . . . just an opinion!!!!
HEARTS, DIAMONDS, STARS and CLOVERS!!!!
9 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:08 PM
I had to stop mid-recap to comment because I was cracking up! When Dallas Daniel says they're going to take down anyone in the room that has a vagina and then he leans in to his client and whispers "not you" that kind of made my entire day. I laughed so hard- if I'm having a bad day, I think of that scene and I start laughing all over again. And I think the elephant in the room (obviously the worst stylist, considering she's been in the bottom how many times?) should really just leave- they should have booted her off because of her consistent failure. I'd rather keep someone who made a teeny error in judgment than someone who sucks nonstop.
10 of 11 | Posted by xpedestrianx | Posted on August 5, 2008 1:24 PM
Sorry, J-MO, but I had to stop reading after you conjured up the image of Charlie getting freaky in the bedroom. I'll be back to read the rest of the recap after a few glasses of wine have eradicated said image from my subconscious....
11 of 11 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:35 PM