Sore loser much? Oh, I just bet that Dee is an absolute joy to work with (and I would suspect that there are some co-workers of hers that have been enjoying her absence in Miami while she's off annoying people in Beverly Hills) and I'm sorry to say that she's doing nothing to dispel the image of the Stereotypical Angry Lesbian Who Cannot Ever Admit She Might Once Be Wrong About Something.™ Whatever, sour grapes make bitter wine, so drink up, Dee. You deserve it. Oh, and speaking of the crack that Kim Vo is on... it's called Restylane, and you could use some yourself, you hard-faced clamsmackin' ho!
Sorry, I guess I've sailed over the edge a bit... it just irks me to no end, whenever Dee wins, all is right with the world, and everyone should kiss her ass and congratulate her, but God forbid she should lose, because then it's all about how she should have won because she's so much better than everybody else, and she rolls her eyes over other people's successes. She's like the Lisa-fucking-Fernandes of "Shear Genius"...
...In case you forgot Lisa, she was the resident ass-faced lesbiana cheftestant of Top Chef Season Four in Chicago...
Eh, well Dee can keep on rollin' because Jaclyn is congratulating Charlie on being "Shear Genius" and reminds him of his immunity in the next challenge... she then says he won't be eligible to win the challenge, either, but he will have a "special role" in it. Exotic Nekisa is agitated for some reason, so much so that Jaclyn notices and asks "Nekisa? Are you okay?" and she shouts back "No, I'm really annoyed! So? I mean, I'm just being honest. How you like that, Charlie?"
...It looks like Charlie and his drag queen hair are likin' it jest fiiiiine...
Nekisa continues her ranting, "I'm just... I'm frustrated!" Jaclyn tries to diffuse her by offering tentatively "You know I think sometimes we welcome criticism because it makes us grow..." to which Nekisa whines "Okay, I'm a giant! I'm huuuge now!" Yeah, a giant huge bitch, but everybody kinda laughs as Jaclyn dismisses them to go back to Casa De Malo Pelo and it seems like the tension eased down a notch...
...but not all the way, as Dallas Daniel observes "Ahh am not raydee to go bayack to thayat house! Ah mean, it is gunna be some sowort of Alabama dogfaht!" Cue exterior shot of the House Of Hell... and it's the nightly Alcohol Binge, yayyyy, beer-bong time... (*glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* *urp*) and it appears that Bitchy Charlie is talking trash about Exotic Nekisa while she's in the other room and still within earshot....
"I think she should become a comedienne," he says, "because the nails won't get in the way of her being a comedienne, but they clearly get in the way of her doing hair!" Oooooh, girl, you ain't holding back! Dallas Daniel is trying to be a little sympathetic as he says "I don't thaink thayat Nekisa hayas cheyecked ayout, I jest thaink that it can rrrrreally wear on yew... but ah can ownlee imagine what it must be lahk for her, jest constantly losing an' losing an' losing an' losing an' losing an' losing (looks at Swatch Watch) an' losing an' losing" Oh Daniel, you're such a sweeter brand of bitch, that must be how they grow 'em in the South!
Nekisa, meanwhile, is babbling drunkenly, something about how she was successful before this, and how she'll be successful after this... um, no you won't if anybody's been paying attention to how much you suck, girl. Dallas Daniel checks back in with "I thaink everayone knows thayat Charlie's got some fahr in his ah's for Barbie Nekisa..."
Charlie's baiting Nekisa, asking if she doesn't have to be at the porn awards tonight, and she is coming completely unglued as she yells out "I'm so sick of this shit! You are such a fucking shit-talker behind everybody's back!" Charlie's response is a slightly slurred one as he says "America loves a shhhhapely woman, don't ever forget it! It don't matter if you can do a highlight or not, honey..." Huh? We must be missing part of this conversation, but Charlie himself tells us flat-out "Whenever I get bored, I just go and attack Nekisa, I mean, she's the easiest target."
...Gee, which one of them seems more agitated?...
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Comments (11)
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
1 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
2 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
I heart Kate Jackson!
Great recap!!!!!
3 of 11 | Posted by silver | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:24 AM
Hilarious recap, J-Mo! God, how is Nekisa still there??!?
4 of 11 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:29 AM
IMO Nekisa remains because she makes better TV than the ones who go.
Based on your screen caps, IMO Kate and Jaclyn both look fabulous.
Don't watch it, but your recaps are priceless! Thanks!
5 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 2, 2008 9:08 AM
Funny, funny recap. The quotes under the pics are priceless...Dairy Queen hairstyle..LOL. You took no prisoners this week.
Our Nekisa is the cockroach of the Shear Genius war. It's the only explaination to why she's still there.
6 of 11 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:53 PM
oh j-mo...
when you say things like, "you cross-eyed pint-sized hard-faced poonhound," and "My mouth just dropped open, so I had to put another beer in there," you make me laugh so hard that i get nervous looks from my colleagues and quickly have to minimize the tvgasm window so i look like i'm actually just incredibly amused by my work.
fire@will--totally agree. nekisa is there because they are hoping she will continue to say ridiculous, unfounded things about how it's everybody/thing's fault except for hers that she blows fat cock.
did anyone else think that both nekisa and charlie were slurring a pretty ridiculous amount during that whole fight? i mean honestly how many drinks had they consumed at that point? it was like watching a couple of completely cracked out bitches in a backwoods bar fight over a man who's already snuck out the back door.
now, this episode deals with an issue i take with pretty much every bravo show i've ever watched: the fact that they do not look at a contestant's entire body of work, but just the work on that episode, when deciding who goes home. i feel like there should be more attention paid to continuing suckage. after last season's top chef, i've named this "the lisa conundrum." if someone is ALWAYS in the bottom, please just get rid of them. please. it hurts, it really does.
this is why tabatha should be a regular judge. she never would have stood for this crap. ooh let's have her takeover nekisa's salon!!!
7 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 4, 2008 11:14 AM
Thanks for the awesome comments you guys! As always, I love to see what you think, and I'm excited for this week's show tomorrow night...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex... (déjà vu!)
silver... I heart tvgasm readers along with Kate Jackson...
LeeH... thank you for the kind compliment, and I believe that Nekisa is also benefitting from the Power Of Lesbiana Protection... since the producers have a partial hand in who goes and who stays I'm guessing they're all afraid Dee's gonna cut 'em!
fire@will... Yes, Nekisa does give us somebody to hate on (I thought that role was going to be Charlie's but he's turning out to be a chunky bald angel who's just kinda bitchy sometimes). I also agree with you that Jaclyn and Kate both look pretty damn good... it's kinda sad that Farrah is so busted-looking nowadays (and I KNOW she has cancer, but she's had no excuse for her pre-cancer days... well, at least not one you could publish without getting sued over). As always, I am willing to watch and help guide so you don't have to if you don't want to... kissy-smoochies!
skies... yes, I probably seemed a tad bitter this week (hence no prisoners) but I really get tired of overbearing lesbianas on TV telling everybody what to do all the time (*cough*oprah*cough*). At least when Daniel, or Paulo, or Charlie is gonna say something not so kind about someone else, they give it a healthy dash of bitchy, cutting humor... Dee just sounds pissed off whenever things don't go her way. She will probably come find me and kill me if she ever finds these recaps. I may be living on borrowed time. Excuse me while I go get drunk for a bit...
mrsdaddytom... you are too kind! I laugh a lot at tvgasm.com, too, and sometimes I have had the same reaction from coworkers as well. I'm glad it's not just me (spread the word to your friends, the world needs more laughter) and if you can pull it off where your work can be construed as amusing that is amazing! I have a rougher time with that as MY work consists of claims adjudication for Medicare D. Yeah. Not so amusing. Damn!
I did find it interesting how drunk both Nekisa and Charlie seemed to be while they were fighting, which could explain why he seemed so blasé about her attacks... I know when *I* get a good buzz going I don't really care about much (other than wondering "did I just pee myself???... Hmmmmm.")
And yes, I agree sometimes I think they should take previous work into account... at least on certain challenges... I think these awful people who hang on week after week because someone sucks a little bit more than they do gives them some kind of false impression of their skills... I know Lisa seemed to think she was a hot-shit chef after she made it to the finals, ignoring all the other horrid garbagey food she served in the preceding 13 weeks. Nekisa probably thinks she's a bad-ass hair-burner after surviving to be in the top 6 (out of 12!!!! GAWD that's depressing!).
Thank all of you for your comments, I love it love it love it!
lovin' it,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
8 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 5, 2008 8:24 AM
Thanks for the recap, J-mo!!!! I for one thought all the wacky colors were ridonk, except the vaginal bird of paradise . . . is it the lesbian in me? Charlie's was a soft serve yogurt with swirls of flavors--just a wrong style for sporty bright colors . . . His winning was like a fix, I totally think he's in the producers pocket, and probably knows why they keep Excusa!!! Don't get me wrong, I think Charlie's one of us, except he says it out loud.
Funny to see Jaclyn soooo disappointed, and Kate was completely useless, but a hoot none the less, with no opinion on anything, not even cleverly disguised as a Nina Garcia "no comment"
Call me crazy, as usual, but I did not think Jaclyn or Kate's hair on Angels was iconic . . . at all, esp. not Kate's!!! But I do feel for her getting all the botched bobs as interpretation!!! Her hair looks lovely now, and more modern than Jaclyn . . . and J-mo, I think the reason Farrah looks all washed up is she waited to long to do a little maintainence, so by the time she got to pulling there was just too much to tug . . . just an opinion!!!!
HEARTS, DIAMONDS, STARS and CLOVERS!!!!
9 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:08 PM
I had to stop mid-recap to comment because I was cracking up! When Dallas Daniel says they're going to take down anyone in the room that has a vagina and then he leans in to his client and whispers "not you" that kind of made my entire day. I laughed so hard- if I'm having a bad day, I think of that scene and I start laughing all over again. And I think the elephant in the room (obviously the worst stylist, considering she's been in the bottom how many times?) should really just leave- they should have booted her off because of her consistent failure. I'd rather keep someone who made a teeny error in judgment than someone who sucks nonstop.
10 of 11 | Posted by xpedestrianx | Posted on August 5, 2008 1:24 PM
Sorry, J-MO, but I had to stop reading after you conjured up the image of Charlie getting freaky in the bedroom. I'll be back to read the rest of the recap after a few glasses of wine have eradicated said image from my subconscious....
11 of 11 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:35 PM