Even more fun, now that Female Glenn and Underdog Nicole are being forced to work together Glenn seems to be amending her opinion somewhat... "In the payast ah HAYAV said thayat Nicole is graine, but today ah thaink being ayble t'work with someone lakh mahsayilf who is mowur experienced gayve her a little ayckstra OOMPH!" Okay, way to be humble there, Glenn. And what does Underdog Nicole think? "The one thing I was really afraid of having a problem with Glenn is that she tends to do, like... conservative old lady hair... and this challenge is about taking these amazing women who were, like, superheroes in the past, and recreate them for the world today!"
...Former Arizona Governor Rose Mofford and her Dairy Queen Hair would be one of Glenn's peeps today! Holler at your girl!...
Basically Female Glenn is ordering Underdog Nicole around, but Nicole isn't being completely compliant as she says "I just did not want anyone to come out looking like Betty White!"
Über-Gay Paulo and Dallas Daniel are actually grateful to have Bitchy Charlie around as a floater to bounce ideas off of and to help out, and he seems to genuinely want to help them out. It turns out Daniel has been pleasantly surprised by how easy it is working with Paulo and he says to René Fris "We're gonna take theyes bitches DAYOOWN!" René asks "Which ones?" and Daniel replies "Anyone with a vahJAHna in the rewm!" and then he cackles madly and then quickly turns to his client (who has a vagina) and whispers "not you!"
Meanwhile, Exotic Nekisa is still simmering in her bitterness over yesterday's challenge (way to let the past go and concentrate on the future, no wonder you're such a ball of lightning, girl!) as she says "Yesterday Charlie did such a shitty up-do, and then he won it? So today he doesn't have to do anything but walk around and act like the sassy bitch that he is?" Yup, you got it, Nekisa, and if your ass hadn't tanked yet again yesterday, it would be your smarmy sassy ass walking around not having to do anything but be a huge bitch to everyone! But you didn't win, and you're not allowed to do that, so shut it.
Lesbiana Dee pipes in "Having Charlie to come around and assist us all was actually quite nice to have him as my little bitch today!" There's that classy side again, and keep feeding the illusion that somehow he's your bitch when he's the one who can't go home today no matter what happens!
And speaking of not winning, Nekisa is working on their version of Farrah under the concerned eyes of René Fris, and she says she's doing tight curls although the woman's hair does not hold a curl... Oh Jesus, not this again! Don't you people learn anything from previous challenges? Well, Dee certainly has, as she clocks those curls are sucky and says she kept her hands off because it "wasn't her vision". Yup, the bus is a-comin' and Dee's a-gettin' ready to push!
Just like Charlie predicted, Dee is steamrolling all over Nekisa, who says "Sometimes I look at her and I'm like, 'Girl! You have A.D.D.! Chill out!'" and now Dee is actually going back and re-cutting one of the model's hair (although when Eagle-Eye René clocks this, Dee insists that she's just "refining it"... by completely changing it.)
Ohhh, God, here we go with the hair show, and back again is Kim Vo, and Prissy Kelly Atterton, whose hair coloring I think could use some touching up, but apparently Kim is mad at her so he's not going to do it for her and says "Get a box of Feria, bitch!" And Jaclyn introduces today's guest judge... Kate Jackson!
Can someone explain to me why Dallas Daniel must make this face every time he sees somebody even slightly famous on this show???..
...I can see what someone's mug shots are gonna look like on The Smoking Gun...
But Kate actually looks quite nice, I'm glad she's not all haggish like some other Angel we know about...
..."God, doesn't anybody remember "Scarecrow And Mrs. King??!?!?"...
And as each group comes out, they all do the really stupid cheesy and totally overused "Charlie's Angels Pose"... except they've got it all wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!
Contrary to how these three bimbos are doing it, the true and accurate pose they did not all have guns! Only Farrah had the gun, Kate had a walkie-talkie, and Jaclyn had karate-hands! Ugh, get it right! Anyhow, here's what they did to 'em (and it's a good thing they only have pretend guns, or there'd be six bleeding stylestants laying on the floor with multiple gunshot wounds)
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Comments (11)
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
1 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
Great Recap! This is turning out just like Top Chef where somehow Lisa made it all the way to the final after being in the bottom every week.
2 of 11 | Posted by tsl | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:10 AM
I heart Kate Jackson!
Great recap!!!!!
3 of 11 | Posted by silver | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:24 AM
Hilarious recap, J-Mo! God, how is Nekisa still there??!?
4 of 11 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:29 AM
IMO Nekisa remains because she makes better TV than the ones who go.
Based on your screen caps, IMO Kate and Jaclyn both look fabulous.
Don't watch it, but your recaps are priceless! Thanks!
5 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 2, 2008 9:08 AM
Funny, funny recap. The quotes under the pics are priceless...Dairy Queen hairstyle..LOL. You took no prisoners this week.
Our Nekisa is the cockroach of the Shear Genius war. It's the only explaination to why she's still there.
6 of 11 | Posted by skies | Posted on August 2, 2008 8:53 PM
oh j-mo...
when you say things like, "you cross-eyed pint-sized hard-faced poonhound," and "My mouth just dropped open, so I had to put another beer in there," you make me laugh so hard that i get nervous looks from my colleagues and quickly have to minimize the tvgasm window so i look like i'm actually just incredibly amused by my work.
fire@will--totally agree. nekisa is there because they are hoping she will continue to say ridiculous, unfounded things about how it's everybody/thing's fault except for hers that she blows fat cock.
did anyone else think that both nekisa and charlie were slurring a pretty ridiculous amount during that whole fight? i mean honestly how many drinks had they consumed at that point? it was like watching a couple of completely cracked out bitches in a backwoods bar fight over a man who's already snuck out the back door.
now, this episode deals with an issue i take with pretty much every bravo show i've ever watched: the fact that they do not look at a contestant's entire body of work, but just the work on that episode, when deciding who goes home. i feel like there should be more attention paid to continuing suckage. after last season's top chef, i've named this "the lisa conundrum." if someone is ALWAYS in the bottom, please just get rid of them. please. it hurts, it really does.
this is why tabatha should be a regular judge. she never would have stood for this crap. ooh let's have her takeover nekisa's salon!!!
7 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 4, 2008 11:14 AM
Thanks for the awesome comments you guys! As always, I love to see what you think, and I'm excited for this week's show tomorrow night...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex...
tsl... I totally agree with you, Nekisa is the booger on the finger of "Shear Genius", the show shakes and it shakes, but she just won't fly free and be gone... I'm gonna go look for some kleenex... (déjà vu!)
silver... I heart tvgasm readers along with Kate Jackson...
LeeH... thank you for the kind compliment, and I believe that Nekisa is also benefitting from the Power Of Lesbiana Protection... since the producers have a partial hand in who goes and who stays I'm guessing they're all afraid Dee's gonna cut 'em!
fire@will... Yes, Nekisa does give us somebody to hate on (I thought that role was going to be Charlie's but he's turning out to be a chunky bald angel who's just kinda bitchy sometimes). I also agree with you that Jaclyn and Kate both look pretty damn good... it's kinda sad that Farrah is so busted-looking nowadays (and I KNOW she has cancer, but she's had no excuse for her pre-cancer days... well, at least not one you could publish without getting sued over). As always, I am willing to watch and help guide so you don't have to if you don't want to... kissy-smoochies!
skies... yes, I probably seemed a tad bitter this week (hence no prisoners) but I really get tired of overbearing lesbianas on TV telling everybody what to do all the time (*cough*oprah*cough*). At least when Daniel, or Paulo, or Charlie is gonna say something not so kind about someone else, they give it a healthy dash of bitchy, cutting humor... Dee just sounds pissed off whenever things don't go her way. She will probably come find me and kill me if she ever finds these recaps. I may be living on borrowed time. Excuse me while I go get drunk for a bit...
mrsdaddytom... you are too kind! I laugh a lot at tvgasm.com, too, and sometimes I have had the same reaction from coworkers as well. I'm glad it's not just me (spread the word to your friends, the world needs more laughter) and if you can pull it off where your work can be construed as amusing that is amazing! I have a rougher time with that as MY work consists of claims adjudication for Medicare D. Yeah. Not so amusing. Damn!
I did find it interesting how drunk both Nekisa and Charlie seemed to be while they were fighting, which could explain why he seemed so blasé about her attacks... I know when *I* get a good buzz going I don't really care about much (other than wondering "did I just pee myself???... Hmmmmm.")
And yes, I agree sometimes I think they should take previous work into account... at least on certain challenges... I think these awful people who hang on week after week because someone sucks a little bit more than they do gives them some kind of false impression of their skills... I know Lisa seemed to think she was a hot-shit chef after she made it to the finals, ignoring all the other horrid garbagey food she served in the preceding 13 weeks. Nekisa probably thinks she's a bad-ass hair-burner after surviving to be in the top 6 (out of 12!!!! GAWD that's depressing!).
Thank all of you for your comments, I love it love it love it!
lovin' it,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
8 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 5, 2008 8:24 AM
Thanks for the recap, J-mo!!!! I for one thought all the wacky colors were ridonk, except the vaginal bird of paradise . . . is it the lesbian in me? Charlie's was a soft serve yogurt with swirls of flavors--just a wrong style for sporty bright colors . . . His winning was like a fix, I totally think he's in the producers pocket, and probably knows why they keep Excusa!!! Don't get me wrong, I think Charlie's one of us, except he says it out loud.
Funny to see Jaclyn soooo disappointed, and Kate was completely useless, but a hoot none the less, with no opinion on anything, not even cleverly disguised as a Nina Garcia "no comment"
Call me crazy, as usual, but I did not think Jaclyn or Kate's hair on Angels was iconic . . . at all, esp. not Kate's!!! But I do feel for her getting all the botched bobs as interpretation!!! Her hair looks lovely now, and more modern than Jaclyn . . . and J-mo, I think the reason Farrah looks all washed up is she waited to long to do a little maintainence, so by the time she got to pulling there was just too much to tug . . . just an opinion!!!!
HEARTS, DIAMONDS, STARS and CLOVERS!!!!
9 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:08 PM
I had to stop mid-recap to comment because I was cracking up! When Dallas Daniel says they're going to take down anyone in the room that has a vagina and then he leans in to his client and whispers "not you" that kind of made my entire day. I laughed so hard- if I'm having a bad day, I think of that scene and I start laughing all over again. And I think the elephant in the room (obviously the worst stylist, considering she's been in the bottom how many times?) should really just leave- they should have booted her off because of her consistent failure. I'd rather keep someone who made a teeny error in judgment than someone who sucks nonstop.
10 of 11 | Posted by xpedestrianx | Posted on August 5, 2008 1:24 PM
Sorry, J-MO, but I had to stop reading after you conjured up the image of Charlie getting freaky in the bedroom. I'll be back to read the rest of the recap after a few glasses of wine have eradicated said image from my subconscious....
11 of 11 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:35 PM