Awww, Paulo may be a spiky boob sometimes, but he really does have a heart of gold. Now I'm gonna cry. Even sweeter, Underdog Nicole gives Paulo next choice of clients... God, I hope he was geniune in what he said and that it wasn't just some acting ploy to get better placement for this Challenge, cuz that would definitely be a shit sandwich with a side of diarrhea... Nicole says she threw him a bone because in a lot of other challenges he's wound up with the last pick an awful lot of the time, which is true. Awww, Nicole is being so sweet! I gotta go get a new box of Kleenex... it's been so long since my tear ducts were used that the box I had here was nothing but dust... be right back...
Next comes Exotic Nekisa, then Bitchy Charlie, Emo Gail, Dallas Daniel, Lesbiana Dee... and last up is Female Glenn. Nicole adds a dash of bitter to her sweetness when she says "I really don't have any intention of helping Glenn, because I know Glenn has really doubted my experience..." Jeez, girl, we're having a big ol' cry-fest here, didja hafta edge back over into bitchy just now?
The wigs they will be styling on are from the HairUWear Collection. Oh God, if these are real human-hair wigs (and I'm sure they are) then they just better not fuck them up, because that shit is exPENSIVE! Trust me, even good-quality synthetic wigs can cost a fortune, but human hair is off the charts...
Über-Gay Paulo's girl wants to have something fun to go out in, so he chooses a longer red-haired wig to work on. On the other end of the spectrum, Underdog Nicole's client actually doesn't even wear wigs, and she kinds likes Nicole's short and kicky hairstyle, so she wants to go for something like that. This is dangerous territory, because if you cut a wig too short, the netting will show... Nicole's gonna have to be carefullllll.
Emo Gail's client is concerned about whether or not length is age-appropriate for her, and Gail isn't giving me much confidence when she says that she's only cut a couple of wigs for Halloween costumes before. Ugh, girl, those $4 things from the Spirit Superstore ain't nothing like the gorgeous ones you're getting to work with today.
Unsurprisingly, Dallas Daniel actually has had some experience with wigs, and he smartly realizes that he needs to give it some motion or it will look too stiff and, well... wig-like.
Exotic Nekisa is already running into trouble as her client is somewhat frightened of the bright and brash red color of the wig they've chosen... turning to René for help, he reminds her that they can go ahead and color the wig, too...
I'm sure this woman is feeling that much less secure about how she's going to look being forced to have Nekisa who is so thin and pretty and has gorgeous tresses working on her. Nekisa, honey, you better not make this woman look anything less than stunning or the karma wheel is gonna give you alopecia... it doesn't look good because René is noticing that it appears Nekisa has once again botched the color job for her client. Ugh, that is just un-fucking-fair.
Female Glenn seems to be having a rough time making her client happy, either... of course Exotic Nekisa is the one who notices this, instead of, you know, paying attention to her own work... René is concerned that Glenn has badly framed her client's face, and the wig line is dead-obvious.
Emo Gail is having the same problem with hers, she can't seem to get the hair to pull back from the face. There are tricks for doing this, all the drag queen friends I have know that you have to make adjustments to the first couple of rows of hair so it stays out of your face, but it seems none of the stylestants have any drag queen friends... I bet Chris March and Christian Siriano from Project Runway could have done this challenge better!
Nicole's client starts to cry because she's not worn hair in so long, and now Nicole is crying, too, because she thinks her cut looks like crap. God, are they all gonna just bone it here? Nicole's client is so sweet, she's crying because she knows it's not going well and... well, just look at this...
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Comments (14)
I love to snark with the best of them (and that would be you, J-Mo) but I could swear that, at the beginning of the elimination challenge, Rene turned to the clients and you could see he wears a hearing aid. Which explains the mush-mouth speech. No more makin' fun..... : (
Oscar, however, is still fair game.
1 of 14 | Posted by marishka | Posted on July 30, 2008 8:14 AM
"Next up is Emo Gail's Mullet Comb-over Victim..."
Look at the before and after photos. Does anyone else see that the chin hair is off center in the after photo? The guy will probably have to shave off all of his chin hair and start from scratch. Oh, he will also have to listen to "I
told you so" from his friends
who opted out of the "free haircut".
2 of 14 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on July 30, 2008 12:03 PM
"Now is Paulo and his Big Sexy Daddy client. the second unruly and uneven soul patch in a row"
Sorry about the first two sentences in my comment. I jumped the gun.
3 of 14 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on July 30, 2008 12:19 PM
Awww! We can't make fun of Rene anymore? My favorite part is J-Mo transcribing everything he says. And Daniel too. Daniel and Rene should get their own tv show. Imagine the recaps! I would be in heaven.
Hate Nekisa. She is so useless. And when she talks sometimes she drawls like she's drunk. Dee will go absolutely mental when Nekisa is sent home. I can't wait. It can't happen soon enough.
4 of 14 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on July 30, 2008 12:22 PM
Ohhhh, marishka, dear GOD, no no no no NO, that CAN'T be a hearing aid, it's GOT to be just a plain ear-piece that René is using in order for Bravo to feed him his silly lines ("Okay, René, now tell them to SHAYGEDD!") it just HAS to be, I won't allow him to be handicapable like that.
Seriously, it HAS to be, or I am SO frying in hell by this early afternoon after all the fun I've made of his ESL speeches... you could be right, though... but it seems weird, I would have thought this would have come up in an interview somewhere, or maybe he's just a really good lip-reader... ugh, hate hate hate to have René taken away from me... I might still make fun since I'm probably hell-bound after all the debauched things I did in Louisville this weekend... eh well...
love, J-Mo :)
5 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 30, 2008 12:48 PM
Actually, I don't find it particularly cruel to transcribe his speech, whatever the cause, and it is enjoyable, and this recap, almost challenging to decipher all the accents . . . esp bitch guy . . . well, it clearly seems Gail isn't as experienced as the others, and all knew, hence the tears--I don't really feel too sad when they leave, tho I was misty watching "She's Got the Look" as I liked most of them toward the end--I did feel sad for these brave women, and in the end, Nicole's look rocked, the pics on line look great! A huge improvement, and she took 10 years off her--Cute, cute, cute!
J-mo, I love your knowledge of wigs, and you're absolutely right that drag queens would be the experts on that! I keep looking at those helmet-y wigs and thinking, couldn't they layer, or like Glenn's bitch girl, it was like a blunt cut of the ends. I also thought the comb over mullet was way better than the description--I didn't see the hair loss . . . call me crazy!!!
Well, Jmo, for me you can mock whoever whenever, it's always a blast! glad to hear you had a weekend of debauchery-I bet you could write a movie script about the whole thing!!!
6 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 30, 2008 2:22 PM
J-Mo, you are adorable! Thanks so much for posting your YouTube video from this week. Love the recaps, been reading for a while and your video made me jump to posting. Keep it coming, I'm addicted to tvgasm! By the way... Skunky McPussMunch... GENIUS! SHEAR GENIUS!!
7 of 14 | Posted by BugMom22 | Posted on July 30, 2008 4:26 PM
Dear J-Mo,
Feel free to mock whomever you want, but never, ever, ever, ever (to infinity) say anything disparaging about LEO!!
8 of 14 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on July 30, 2008 5:59 PM
Oh, J-Mo, please don't stop on my account! I won't be offended. I'll meet you in hell!
: )
9 of 14 | Posted by marishka | Posted on July 31, 2008 7:45 AM
j-mo you are adorable. seriously. and hilarious.
um can nekisa be less 'exotic nekisa' and more 'obnoxious nekisa'? honestly. cannot stand. do not want. she always has a different reason for why she sucks. i only need one: because she sucks.
liking paulo more and more, not sure if he's actually a spiky boob or was edited as such at first.
10 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:28 AM
I couldn't read the whole recap before I posted, but I have to have to have to before I leave on my vacation next week. I'm bummed, because I'll have limited internet access (they count it there in GBs, and my husband and I get 1 for the two of us - what is that in hours?) so I'll probably be missing the recaps for the rest of the summer... Grrrrrrrrr. I just wanted to tell you again how rockin' your recaps are, J-Mo, glad you had fun and managed to dodge all the stilettos in your trip, hope to have the chance to read the rest when I get back, CERTAINLY hope that you'll be recapping more shows for TVGasm when Shear Boob is over, and I'll meet you all in hell where we can laugh over Wene's transcribed accent (although he was quite a sweetie helping out with the wig this episode, wasn't he?) And when I saw the drag queen fest photo, am I the only one who had a little twinge of hope of seeing Chris March there in one of his Valkyrie outfits?
11 of 14 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on July 31, 2008 12:44 PM
marishka, I think I'm gonna keep on to make fon ov Wené Fwiss and heez reedekolus ocksaynt because I am juss dat waiy. Besides, after I saw that some of the others over on bloggingsheargenius dot com actually made bald lady jokes in THEIR recaps, I felt a LOT better about mine (Sorry, I know these ladies are not being threatened with cancer, but even a cold-hearted cynic like myself can appreciate how much guts it would take for ANY woman to go on TV and just BE bald and NOT be Sinead O'Connor). So anyhow, deaf or not, René gets no pass... I'll see you in Hell's Kitchen, sayyyy around 8:30? Maybe Gordon Ramsay's crew of idiots can poison us with their raw meat.
Gertrude, honey, the fact that you read my blitherings is good enough for me, thank you for taking the time to comment...
shelleyh, I'm glad you have fun with my fun-with-phonetics, as Dallas Daniel would say "Thayat's swaite of yew!" Also, thank you for sharing my hoagie of hatred for Bitchzotic Nekisa, I can tell you feel where I'm coming from... wait. til. you. see. the. shit. she. pulled. last. night.
juddfan, thanks as always for the kissy-smoochies, I know I got a little carried away with Oscar Balki's trascriptions, but Jesus, I couldn't get "haard core duud" out of my head for HOURS... oh yeah, and on the DL... I made a new friend this weekend with a big ol' southern bubba... and he opened doors for me, so I felt the spirit of the Judd!
BugMom22, awww, shucks, *blush* you're too kind... I'm glad you're having a good time with this shit, I know I'm having a blast AND it's like free therapy so I take my aggression out on reality TV and not the world at large...
Pegster... never, ever, ever, ever? To infinity? And maybe beyond? You MUST know that to make such a demand of a smart-ass is dangerous and delicate work at best... if you had written just ONE more "ever" then you would have almost certainly GUARANTEED that I would have found a way to bring up the movie "The Beach" in my next recap, apropos or not... but since you restrained yourself, I will do my best to keep the Leonardo DiCaprio name out of my mouth... *ptooie!* There you go! kissies!
mrsdaddytom, your existential analysis is spot-on... Nekisa sucks simply because she sucks, and you're right, that's all we need to know. For realsies, thank you for the kind words, it makes my day fly by... xoxox
sayhuh, darlin', all I can say is... ¡Señora dulce, espero que sus vacaciones se estén relajando y que diversión! No se preocupe del TVgasm, todavía será aquí cuando usted vuelve, y usted podrá leer cómo los finales de la competición fue… ¡Tenga un gran tiempo! If any of that is wrong, blame babelfish. Also, I believe you gasmii are not going to be rid of me so quickly, for after "Shear Genius" completes this season, I am scheduled to start working on Season Two of Top Design!... AND the new "Shear Genius" spin-off "Salon Takeover With Tabatha"... yes, bitches, she's gonna get to cut up random salon employees and I, for one, cannot wait!
love, J-Mo :)
12 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 31, 2008 1:50 PM
LOVE LOVE LOVE the YouTube video! damn good choreography. wish i could've seen that in person. christina best be shakin in her boots!
personally, i'm not surprised for a second about wenay. i could've sworn there was a bit of a 'deaf' lilt in there and almost mentioned as much in previous comments. but his speech impediment doesn't make him any less endearing, it's the damn "hi-hi" that makes me want to take him out with garden shears.
13 of 14 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on August 1, 2008 8:33 AM
j to the mo, you will be recapping the tabatha spin off????
that just made, like, the rest of my life.
xoxoxoxoxox!!!!!
14 of 14 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on August 1, 2008 9:56 AM