Still not inclined to waste time watching... but also still loving your recaps!

Thanks, J-Mo!

You're single handedly bringing funny back to TVgasm. Kim Vo is easily filling the role of Dolly Parton's Truvy.

Whomever did Tammy's hair made her look so old! I always thought Tammy was pretty...but good God!! He did not do her any favors. I hope she takes the judges advice and lightens that stuff up. Redonk!

Laurie's hair looked a lot better to me. Practically all of the housewives are victims of over-dying and too much heat. Their hair looks like straw. Nekissa did a good job of making Laurie's look healthy.

What was hilarious was Kimberly. The back of her hair looked sooo bad. Did you catch the giant smile and swing of the hair she did at the end of the aisle? Hilarious. Her hair looked like it needed 2 more shampoos and...damn lets just say a lot.

Either way..great recap!

I have to admit that I like these elimination type reality shows..PR, Design Star, next Food Network star, Top Chef, and Shear Genius. I know I need a life, so don't judge me.
I like your recaps and you're almost as bitchfabulous as Ms. Tabby. I too love a quick thinking smart ass that can have you crying "uncle" just with a look.
Keep up the good work.

Yes, what's her name with the garden tool from last year was Shear Stupidity at its finest!

No big loss with Parker the Prick gone. Glad Charlie is sticking around. Way to go bald trailer trash!

This recap was so funny I: (1) spat out Diet Dr. Pepper all over my keyboard, (2) laughed so hard that I made all my co-workers stare at me, and (3) had my boss came out of his office to tell me to calm down. The names that J-Mo gave these losers are the best. I did like Dallas Daniel until the moment he lost consciousness simply because he saw those tired old slits and their offspring. And the thing about crying at Laurie's wedding. I cried because I had to watch that shit. The guy she married is the king of all douches. Seriously. Anyway I love J-Mo!!! I want more J-Mo!!!

Did anyone notice that Daniel's hairstyle on the wall of fame was totally covered up by the "ALLURE"? Why not take a shot that works with the title, like a real cover shoot?

Oh, and, yeah, the RHWOOC have officially reached 15 minutes and 5 seconds. They have stayed in the spot light for too long. Please go away.

Oh man, you guys are TOTALLY making my week here, I think I'm gonna cry like I'm being forced to watch Lauri get married all over again...

fire@will... if I can do the heavy lifting of watching this TV show for you, I'm happy to do so... it's what big fat guys like me were made for (especially when I have a giant tumbler of Diet Dr. Pepper and a bag or two of Doritos with me)

kittyw... Thank you for your kindness, and you know we loves us some Truvy (and Truvy's West!)

MrsBojangles... I *did* catch Kimberly's fabulous hair-flip when she did her little turn on the catwalk (the screen cap i took was RIGHT after that) and you're right, it was a hot mess... thanks for the kudos!

Skies... Why thank you for the compliment on my smart-assedness a-la-Miss Tabby! I am honored (although my bitch-quotient is only about 57). Much love!

pokerplayer... I, too, am falling in love with Charlie... to the point where I'm starting to fantasize about tumbling him into bed... you're probably not taking your Charlie-love that far, but that's kind of my way... :)

ReeseWitherspoon... First off, Diet Dr. Pepper is the best. Second, laughter is what keeps us going through these hard times. Third, thank you for being such a sweetie. Maybe we can get dressed up in black and watch Lauri's divorce when it comes on TV...

marishka... I actually DID think it was kind of odd that they didn't put the hairstyle in FRONT of the ALLURE magazine title, since being big and swoopy was what that whole 'do was all about, but perhaps with the trend of flatter hair nowadays the layout editors have gotten spoiled (you know fer SHURE in the 80's they would have had to leave enough of a margin for all the big hair they featured on the cover)..

Only one more day until a new episode, and I'm going to do my best to have the new recap finished by Friday! Thanks again for all the love and kissy-smooches!

love, J-Mo :)

Fabulous recap, love all the gayness shrieking through, and the rotating nicknames are the best!!! They are so helping me follow! Love the before and afters, so if that makes them a little long, they are so much better. I still haven't watched, and yet, I follow! Never watched the oranges, so that part was sketchy for me, but no worries. Since Bravo repeats everything one hundred million times, I may even watch it! I'm curious about Charlie too, kind of looks like my type, tho maybe not girthy enough, we'll see, then we can either fight for him or split him tee-hee! I got my name lusting for the girthy Judd on Survivor in Guatemala, mmmm, still haven't gone to NY to have him open my door for me tho!

Glad to see the Jmo love here, and Reese, did you say slits--too f'n funny!!!!

"Parker Poser"

"Drink the Juice Shelby"

Gosh you are killing me here. Great hilarious recap. I don't watch the Real Housewives but didn't need to - just 2 seconds of screen time and I could tell they were a hot mess.

Damn with all that money you'd think they could afford some conditioner.

Forgot to say, loved the "Erotica" reference!

You brought the funny once again, J-Mo (and what would that be in Dallas-Danny speak? JAY-e Maw? Enquiring minds want to know...) But you broke my little heart with your love for the biggest assholiest bitter sour orange of them all, Tabitha I-hate-everyone-else-in-the-universe-but-I-love-myself-twice-as-much-as-that. Ugh, I hated her sour guts, her sour face, her sour ass, her sour... Sure, Evangelin was an idiot, but Miss T.B. didn't simply point out that insisting on the pruning shears was stupid. No. She turned it into something like "if you insist on using that, the gates of hell will open, the hounds of war will swallow our hallowed profession, and the APOCALYPSE will happen!" I'm paraphrasing here, but you know what I mean... I mean, I just saw the SG season 1 marathon before the first epi of season 2, and my jaw just dropped when Jaclyn said she was the fan favorite. Bitch must have paid someone to speed-dial for her. I love bitchy fabulous, but she was just plain asshole bitch. Who can cut hair, but still. Big deal. I hear that she was there because she has a new show coming on Bravo, which is somewhat similar to a Gordon Ramsay show. What a surprise. Not Hell's Salon, more like Salon Nightmares. Either way, I hope no network gets the idea of a Gordon Ramsay show followed by a Tabitha show, because I fear the effect on the viewers would be just like the effect of the ark on the nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. You've been warned, people!

juddfan, who is this girthy "Judd" of whom you speak? I might have to check that guy out. I was a big fan of Chris March from PR4, I just think he is the cutest leopard-print wearing chubby boy ever. *sigh* And he can make dresses out of human hair...

TinkerbellAPixie... (and juddfan) I absolutely love that you guys are picking up on these references, because it reaffirms to me that a little thing called "cultural literacy" is not dead in America. That gives me a woody... Seriously.

sayhuh... darlin', I don't ever wanna break anyone's heart. :( I completely understand your feelings about Miss Lady T, believe me, I do... Do I think she's abrasive? HELL, yes! Do I think she's a bitter bitch? DOUBLE HELL, yes! Does she make for awesome TV because she speaks what's on her mind with little regard for the consequences? HELL to the Y-E-S!

I realize not everyone shares my 'mirations for Tabatha (and to tell you the truth, she looks like a taller, thinner version of my mother-in-would-be-law, this could be why I have some misplaced affection for her). But the thing with Evangelin... sorry, but that woman was just a wack-job of the first order... just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you HAVE to, and if I were to walk into a salon and see someone cutting hair with a pair of garden shears, I would call the police myself... she went over the edge when she suggested that because she won a challenge with those shears that they were now going to be a part of her normal arsenal of clippers, it was just stupid to a degree that deserved being called out, and that's exactly what Lady T did to her (and she wasn't the only one, the other Aussie stylist in the house actually started that whole argument, Tabatha just finished it for her). BUT, I can see where you're coming from, and fear not, there should be no more T-love in future posts (as long as they don't bring her back again).

love, J-Mo :)

I loved the recap! Thanks! the pictures are great too!
You shaked it! lol
Tabatha was really bitchy! Didn't like her in this ep.
Kim's lips are creepy and Renee's accent is funny!
I never watched 'any real housewives..coming to think that I never watched ANY housewives..', but they were horrible and that guy confessing his "love" was pathetic! I'm rooting for Nicole, but I think Charlie has it in the bag!
So long, Parker! It's sad that out of "millions" who tried out for SG, they couldn't find someone with color experience! lol

Anyone else think Dee looks like a Siamese cat in that you can't tell if she's cross eyed or not?

Great Recap.