Anyhow, VampiRoy welcomes everyone and says he's eager to see how they match up to last year's stylists, and whether or not their blood is just as tasty. Okay, not the blood part. But in an effort to impress the stylists that VampiRoy is someone whose opinion should be feared, Jaclyn tells us that he leads the "hair team for the Oscars fashion preview" (wow, so he's like the head coach of a hair team) and that he also creates the hairstyles for the Ford Supermodels Of The World...
...you betta work, bitch!...
Well, I don't see anyone faux-fainting, so I assume they're all about as impressed as I am. Whoop-de-doo. Jaclyn reminds them that part of being a top stylist is the art of juggling numerous clients during the day, and today's Short Cut Challenge is going to involve the stylestants working on not only their own client, but also the clients of their competitors... dunh-dunh-DUUUUUUUUHN!!! Bitchy Charlie's face before and after this announcement says it all....
..."I won last week, yay!" morphs into "I am so screwed this week.... Boo. "...
We find out that when Roy says "Stop!", the stylestants will all switch clients, and they can choose to either continue what the previous stylestant was doing... or go their own route. At this point Lesbiana Dee pipes up "It's very similar in how I work. I know how to delegate, I know how to pass the ball over if I need to, so I'm not nervous!" Well, la-di-dah, Miss Super Butch Football Metaphors! Does this really happen a lot in styling salons, where you have to do, like Relay Styling on clients? 'Cuz no one ever comes along and takes away my normal sullen, hung-over, tatted-up, mega-pierced, pot-smelling stylist and replaces her with someone else midway through my haircut. I wish they would, I've been starting to get a contact high just from her touching my hair...
Jaclyn is still talking, so I should shut up. She warns them that VampiRoy is going to be judging them on their creativity, technical skill and the overall style of the final client sitting in their chairs. Über-Gay Paulo (who apparently ran out of Aussie Sprunch Spray And Mega-Hold Gel this week, cuz his hair is flat) says "the possibility of sabotage is quite great!" I'll say! I'd be surprised if some of these people didn't just hack off all of the clients hair in the first 30 seconds.
They're going to choose scissor boxes with little numbers hidden inside to determine the order they will choose clients. I finally understand the significance of the "scissor box". It's like "pulling knives" on Top Chef! And it only took me until Episode 4 to figure that out. Yay me! And guess who got lucky enough to have the box with number ONE in it??!?...
..."Right heee-eeere! (gay eye-roll)"...
Yup, Über Gay Paulo gets first pick of this week's crop of Random Ladies. He actually does a smart thing by asking amongst them "Who's really open to cutting it?" and the Girl In The Lemon Icing Top who is awestruck with being on TV raises her hand. Paulo asks her again to be sure he heard her correctly, "You're really open to cutting your hair?" and she says...
...remember this, because you'll be tested on it later (gay eye-roll)...
Dallas Daniel gets second pick, followed by Female Glenn, Underdog Nicole, Exotic Nekisa, Bitchy Charlie, Lesbiana Dee, Emo Gail and Drag Queen Meredith. Bitchy Charlie says on the down-low "I chose my client because she is the one that I think has the most difficult hair that I don't want to end up with... whether that will work out remains to be seen!" Wow, good thing she didn't know that at the time or you might be missing a testicle, Chuck!
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Comments (5)
good recap again! But I have to say, I'm definitely not feeling the recap being broken up into 2 seperate parts. AT ALL. I prefer to read about it all at once.
1 of 5 | Posted by serjen | Posted on July 19, 2008 9:24 AM
Boo hoo, I wanted both parts of the recap to be up at the same time (I know, I know, it's all want, want, want, and what have I done for you lately?)
It was hilarious. THANK YOU for the Paulo reaction shot to Dee's comment. Loved it!
Bubblehead-isa reminds me too much of Hilda Suarez. Hilda has the redeeming quality that she's a FICTIONAL character. Nekisa... well. I picture this as her inner monologue: "(crickets chirping)...(crickets chirping) I'm pretty! (crickets chirping) I have a husband! (crickets chirping)"
I will miss Meredith. I liked her dry humor. I wish Nekisa was gone. And hell, NO, who could miss Oshun and Matthew???????
2 of 5 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on July 19, 2008 6:03 PM
OMG, I am so sorry guys, I promise next time I will publish both parts at the same time, seriously, it was almost 5:00am and I just couldn't do any more... please forgive!
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 5 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 20, 2008 12:36 AM
I have to agree with Dee on the message, but not necessarily the delivery. If you have a client, and you've discussed what is going to happen with her hair, when you pass her off to another stylist you communicate that plan so it doesn't come out a f'ed up mess. Much like most of the clients in this challenge. In the end, whether you finish the style or not, because you consulted and developed a plan, she is your client. You own up to it and follow up on it.
That being said, does anyone else thing the length of time they give on some of these challenges is messed up? These could be some of the most talented stylists in the nation, but the time limits can be unrealistic. 1.5 hours to consult, color, cut and style? Not in the real world. Sure they, should be able to work fast, but when you factor in nerves and pressure, it's too much to accomplish. The producers should realize that when success in a challenge is the exception, not the norm.
4 of 5 | Posted by marishka | Posted on July 21, 2008 9:04 AM
J-Mo, dont you sweat the 2 part recap... you are hilarious as always and no-one should stay up past 5am unless they're getting laid or paid....xoxoxo
5 of 5 | Posted by BlueBee | Posted on July 22, 2008 8:51 AM