And Emo Gail, who promised herself that being "positive" and "just having fun" with the challenge is running around to all of the other stylestants and asking them a skillion questions about how they're doing their color. Oh, Gail, you poor naïve soul, do you really think your competitors are going to help you learn color in 10 EZ Lessons? She might as well grab a spatula of Drag Queen Meredith's Ultra-Mega-Red-Frosting and paint a big target sign on her chest...
It's only been 30 minutes, and VampiRoy tells them all to stop working (and you hear Drag Queen Meredith say in a small voice "I keeeyant!") and instructs the clients to all move one chair to the left! Über-Gay Paulo is livid as he says "That girl we swapped for another girl like some crazy orgy... God know's how many times they're gonna be fucking swapped!"
..."You can tell I'm really pissed 'cuz I'm rolling my eyes!"...
Lesbiana Dee is trying to explain to a vacant-looking Emo Gail how to finish the coloring highlights she started her client on, but she's not really worried because, as she so modestly and humbly puts it, "I'm the artistic director back home in Miami, I work with over 25 hairdressers, I make shit happen, it's a piece of cake for me!"
..."So smellllll me 'cuz I'm funnnkee!"...
Gawd, shut up, Dee! You and your super-trendy mega-original fauxhawk look like you got in a Clorox fight with Über-Gay Paulo, so yeah, I'd say you made some shit happen, now please flush. On to marginally less annoying people, poor Dallas Daniel got stuck with Draq Queen Meredith's Red Menace and although he assumed that he was just going to rinse off a completed color, it's actually just "filler". I have no idea what this means, but apparently it's pretty serious, because suddenly Dallas Daniel is flitting like a Top Gun Tinkerbell back to the client screeching "That shit's coming off now!" and his client actually says "My thing is falling off!" I don't know if she meant her hair, or just the crazy foil candy wrappers Meredith stuck to her head. Daniel is freaking out because apparently "filler" is only step one of a three-step process... and apparently step two is going to involve a goop so purple it looks like Prince fucked both The Grimace and Barney in half, and Daniel is squooshing their guts into the girl's hair...
...purple haze... all in my brain...
It gets worse. VampiRoy tells them to stop working again! It's only been 15 minutes since they got these clients, and now he's having them move two stations to their right! Mass chaos and anarchy ensues! Bitchy Charlie now has Über-Gay Paulo's client, Miss Ready For Anything... do you believe this shit?!??!? The bitch is crying!! "Oooh *sob* it's just like a lot all at once! *snif* I've never had my hair colored, I've never had bangs, it's just like, all at once... whoo!... it's intense!" Now I'm doing a big gay eye-roll! If we could roll a TV monitor up to this bitch and remind her whiny drama-queen-wannabee-ass....
...You can't handle the truth!...
Bitchy Charlie says the girl was so freaked out that he didn't really get a chance to even do anything to her hair, they basically just had a mini-therapy session (he probably HIPmotized her with the stripes on that hideous Ebony & Ivory sweater he's wearing) because she didn't like the bangs, they were too short, and the color was too dramatic, and wah wah wahhhh, she didn't know they were actually going to do things to her hair when she signed up to come on a reality tv show that was a hair-styling competition, boo hoo hoo, and she's actually sitting in the chair hyperventilating. I'd hate to see how she handles losing a parking spot at the grocery store. Probly turns around and goes back home.
Worst. Client. Ever.
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Comments (5)
good recap again! But I have to say, I'm definitely not feeling the recap being broken up into 2 seperate parts. AT ALL. I prefer to read about it all at once.
1 of 5 | Posted by serjen | Posted on July 19, 2008 9:24 AM
Boo hoo, I wanted both parts of the recap to be up at the same time (I know, I know, it's all want, want, want, and what have I done for you lately?)
It was hilarious. THANK YOU for the Paulo reaction shot to Dee's comment. Loved it!
Bubblehead-isa reminds me too much of Hilda Suarez. Hilda has the redeeming quality that she's a FICTIONAL character. Nekisa... well. I picture this as her inner monologue: "(crickets chirping)...(crickets chirping) I'm pretty! (crickets chirping) I have a husband! (crickets chirping)"
I will miss Meredith. I liked her dry humor. I wish Nekisa was gone. And hell, NO, who could miss Oshun and Matthew???????
2 of 5 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on July 19, 2008 6:03 PM
OMG, I am so sorry guys, I promise next time I will publish both parts at the same time, seriously, it was almost 5:00am and I just couldn't do any more... please forgive!
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 5 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 20, 2008 12:36 AM
I have to agree with Dee on the message, but not necessarily the delivery. If you have a client, and you've discussed what is going to happen with her hair, when you pass her off to another stylist you communicate that plan so it doesn't come out a f'ed up mess. Much like most of the clients in this challenge. In the end, whether you finish the style or not, because you consulted and developed a plan, she is your client. You own up to it and follow up on it.
That being said, does anyone else thing the length of time they give on some of these challenges is messed up? These could be some of the most talented stylists in the nation, but the time limits can be unrealistic. 1.5 hours to consult, color, cut and style? Not in the real world. Sure they, should be able to work fast, but when you factor in nerves and pressure, it's too much to accomplish. The producers should realize that when success in a challenge is the exception, not the norm.
4 of 5 | Posted by marishka | Posted on July 21, 2008 9:04 AM
J-Mo, dont you sweat the 2 part recap... you are hilarious as always and no-one should stay up past 5am unless they're getting laid or paid....xoxoxo
5 of 5 | Posted by BlueBee | Posted on July 22, 2008 8:51 AM