In a twist that I can only consider bizarrely ironic, the Kimsicle explains that spokesmodeling is a huge part of the modeling industry and the ladies "need to be able to sell it." The "it" is never defined and I'll trust your imaginations to supply any possibly nouns. Showing off her outstanding talents as a spokesmodel, the Kimsicle introduces Dave Mowers, the ladies' acting coach for the afternoon, and assures them that she is leaving them in good hands. If there is a God, at the end of this episode the Kimsicle will be thrown off the board for the worst spokesmodel performance. Ever. The amazing thing is her absolute consistency in repeating the exact same level of performance week after week. In a breathtaking leap, Kim goes from describing spokesmodeling as an integral piece of the modeling industry to the obvious conclusion that what the women are going to be concentrating on is acting, because, really, acting and spokesmodeling are one and the same.
You know, there have been studies that have shown that groups of people will eventually display behaviors that match the attitudes of the people they are dealing with. If you treat people like they're brilliant, they will generally begin to excel. If you treat them like they're morons, they will eventually begin to drool..."
Guess how these women have been treated: A) like they're brilliant B) like their cognitive development stalled at nursery school. For those of you that chose B, go get yourself a drink you deserve it.
Not all of the women are enthusiastic about today's acting challenge. And, really, why should they be? Tanya tells us flat out that acting is not her thing and she has no desire to be an actor ever. But Davo is pumped to mold these women in the great traditions of theatre and welcomes them to acting class. He explains that when aspiring actors show up at auditions they often don't get their scripts until minutes before the auditions, so, they're going to start the class with a cold reading. Hope tells us that it's kind of like "Acting 101, the fast version." I'm thinking that Hope is getting a wee bit tired of the challenges.
After the woman have a moment to look over the script, Davo calls on Tanya to go first, telling her that it's her job audition for the day. Now, at this point, it actually seems reasonable to me that the women should be able to stand and clearly articulate some lines about a product. I mean that is the essence of being a spokesmodel, so I'm willing to go with this. Tanya reluctantly mounts the stage and begins to read her lines, "Woman, can you help me fix my car?"
Ahem, remember what I said about performances matching other peoples attitudes toward them? Dave interrupts her to explain that the characters name is Woman, as in 'Woman: "Can you help me fix my car?"'
Didn't this happen in Flowers for Algernon? No, wait, first he got smarter.
The editors then give us a montage of the women stumbling through a script clearly designed for them to shine. How sad is that? I mean somebody worked hard to provide them with a script that they would feel comfortable with. After all, what woman doesn't use terms like 'fuel somethings', 'torque somethings', 'crank shaft pulleys', and 'thread diameters of the conical seat gaskets' in their every day life?
Bahia tells us that the cold reading went really badly for everybody. Hope agrees, saying that "end of story" they all did horribly. And I'm feeling bad for these women. It's almost like watching a Reality TV version of the Stockholm Syndrome, like, somehow, these women are beginning to believe that their difficulties with the challenges are due more to their own shortcomings than the producers' irresponsible and sadistic quest for ratings.
Why couldn't I have been assigned to the men's prison?
It's time for a short lesson on improv and it seems very much like the games a nursery school teacher might lead the children in; except the ladies go to Rodeo Drive for shopping expedition instead of on a safari to see jungle. As the ladies act out their shopping fantasies, the editors intersperse clips of Davo going over the three precepts of improv:
#1 commit to your partner 100%:
#2 Everything you do has a beginning a middle and an end:
#3 You believe them and you treat it like it's real:
Davo thinks that the improv was just SO FUN!!! But, now, he tells the kiddies ladies it's time for the Leg Up Challenge and things are going to get serious.
It's time for gym class.
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Comments (9)
I thought the commercials were really good, considering they had to put cod liver oil in their mouth. On Americas Next Top Model, the girls would have spewed it out and then gotten praised for their ability to be honest. I think they sent Hope home because they wanted the first winner to be over 40.
1 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 7, 2008 6:35 AM
Yenta! Yenta! Yenta!
Another great recap.
I appreciate the mug shots at the start. I wish more recappers would do that.
The show did everything they could to sabotage the women, then acted like it meant there was something wrong with them. They can get abused like that in any corporate cubicle patch in America.
The improve seemed to be the one positive segment, and most of that was left on the editing room floor.
I feel like I'm watching them set up the winner of the show to feel like a loser so they can discard her once the show is over (what is this, a Shot at Love?)
You saw what I saw - and a whole lot more. Thanks for sharing!
2 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:33 AM
I am taking up a collection for Tanya. We are going to burn those awful black high waisted pants with PLEATS AND POCKETS in the front that she insists upon wearing with that awful tan turtleneck. I could not imagine being that gorgeous, sweet and tacky all at the same time.
3 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 7, 2008 2:10 PM
A laugh riot as always, except for the pain of tasks like "be a balloon and roll on a bed of nails without popping" Loved the unlisted number--too funny! and you are soooo right about Kimsicle being the worst spokes model ever--why didn't hope just imitate her? They were hateful coz she ad libbed girl! Even the director said, stick to the script, but wait a minute, does that mean that all those late night infomercials that are still running when I wake up to discover I passed out again are FAKE!!! It's a script!? WHA >> > How can they memorize 3 and 4 hours of dialogue? I'm so, very, shocked!!! Poor Karin, probably not a good thing that she reminded me of Lucy with Vitavegamin . . . . for being a spokesmodel . . .
Anyway, so complete redonk (as flip would say) No one could have done that, since when is acting also writing a script, and I'm not sure I can make a cup of coffee in ten minutes, nevermind a masterpiece theatre moment for a commercial . . . . If I was on Hope's team, I would have whispered nice things about her to her, she always cries at that!
Lastly, I too fainted to the floor with complete whole hearted sum up of the group challenge . . . no not reality, they should have resorted to overdubs . . . seriously . . . No idea who'll win, they all have flaws in one area or another, and I guess it's going to be Bahia, as she's gorgeous and has that sexy smokey voice.
4 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:05 PM
Hey Guys:
Thanks for taking the time to post.
LisaMay: I was wondering about the "youth" factor as well, but Bahia's only 37, a relative youngster in the group. Of course, maybe that means she'll be the first to go this week...
Fire@will: I've been wondering all along how much regular modeling work would be available for the winner. My friends in the industry (I have a couple) seem to think that the entire thing is ludicrous and this is just another stunt to get Sean Patterson airtime. We'll see, but you raise a good point I'd love to see Celeste kick Brett Michael's ass in ROL3.
Fayellis1: I'd be happy to donate to your collection if you could get rid of the sequins as well.
Juddfan: Don't let this show ruin your faith in infomercials. Some things need to remain sacred in this life. I'm actually thinking Tanya or Celeste may take this thing, which would kind of bum me out. Sigh.
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 5:31 AM
Yenta I love your recaps. You are so funny!!! As soon as I saw Celestes husband i thought Dick Cheney too!!
I can't believe there's only one more episode Im so sad...
6 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:11 AM
Please disregard the above comment. Sadly, my son is a smartass...I don't know where he gets it from.
7 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:15 AM
HaHa.
At least he said something nice about you, but he should probably get his own account. And I agree great recap. I think Bahia was slated to win from the beginning.
8 of 9 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:33 AM
I like Bahia, she is really really pretty, however, I must agree with yentapatrol on the total Bull#(*& that they have never once mentioned she looks off all the same 5'5 that Hope was. I loved Hope, but her look did not come across as "model" in her pictures. It just looked like really pretty pictures of a really pretty woman. Between the 2 of them Bahia is a better model, all be it a short one
9 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 8, 2008 11:53 AM