Because Tanya was first in the cold reading, she gets to choose the teams. She puts Celeste and Bahia on one team and herself, Hope and Karin on another; ostensibly because she, Karin and Hope are all roommates, get along well and should work well together.
None of the women are looking too happy about the teams and they look even less happy when they find out that the Leg Up challenge will consist of an audition for a holiday greeting card. Furthermore, one of the women on each team must cry. Celeste tells us that they are all very nervous because they are not actors and acting is not their element. This maybe the most intelligent thing uttered so far this episode. Dave goes on to say that each team will have 10 minutes to come up with a concept and then each team will improvise their audition for him. The winning team will all receive the reward that is waiting for them back up at the loft. Okay, so no 'safe from elimination' stuff this week.
Tanya's team is up first and the other team is sent out of the room, which seems to be giving an unfair advantage to the other team. Even if they separate Bahia and Celeste they still had extra time to think about their concept. Hope, Tanya and Karin are having a hard time pulling the concept of the commercial together. It takes about thirty seconds to identify Hope as the lady most likely to cry on command, but after that things kind of fall apart. Tanya is uber-bossy in a sweet honeyed sort of way. Karin is creative, vague and too submissive to get her ideas across and Hope is impatient and irritated. However, I have to say that once again Hope impresses me with her honesty. Tanya says that Karin had trouble conveying her ideas, while Hope flatly tells us that they "paid her ass no attention." Sadly, before the ladies can work out their communication issues, Davo calls time and sends them off stage.
Bahia and Celeste are ushered in and Celeste takes control. She sure as hell wasn't wasting her time offstage. She has the plot worked out down to the fine details and she's telling it straight to Bahia. Celeste talks, Bahia nods. Celeste talks some more, Bahia nods some more. Celeste looks happy. Bahia looks homicidal.
The triplets come back on stage to perform. They've decided that they're three friends. Karin and Tanya have realized that Hope is alone for the holidays and they've decided to come home to surprise her. The editors cue some Christmas carols, while Karin and Tanya hide behind a stage curtain and Hope takes a seat on stage.
Then, knocking on some paneling, the ladies pull aside the curtain and walk in giving the awkwardest lamest "Surprise!!" ever. For some reason Hope stays seated, forcing the other women to kneel around her and leading me to wonder if she is supposed to be sick or disabled and alone on Christmas channelling the spirit of Tiny Tim. Tanya and Karin hand her a card followed by a group hug and Hope doesn't cry.
Doesn't this make your eyes well up?
To wind it up, Tanya gives the clincher tag line:
"When words just aren't enough, give happy holiday greetings."
We are not amused.
Then, its time for our dynamic duo to save the day. Bahia and Celeste come flying in ready to go. Celeste's idea is that they're two Algerian sisters that live apart. They both receive a Christmas card at the same time and Bahia is supposed to cry. This idea seems to amuse her more than anything else, up to now, on the show and she frankly tells us that she has no idea how she's going to pull this off.
Celeste acts her part:
Bahia acts her part:
Davo's reaction:
The dynamic duo winds up their commercial
Bahia cries:
Davo does this:
Celeste reads the tagline:
"Prettymark cards, the only way to send your love."
We are definitely not amused.
Bahia tells the camera that Celeste's acting abilities show poorly because she is too fake and doesn't stick to reality. So, basically, Celeste could be her own Reality TV show.
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Comments (9)
I thought the commercials were really good, considering they had to put cod liver oil in their mouth. On Americas Next Top Model, the girls would have spewed it out and then gotten praised for their ability to be honest. I think they sent Hope home because they wanted the first winner to be over 40.
1 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 7, 2008 6:35 AM
Yenta! Yenta! Yenta!
Another great recap.
I appreciate the mug shots at the start. I wish more recappers would do that.
The show did everything they could to sabotage the women, then acted like it meant there was something wrong with them. They can get abused like that in any corporate cubicle patch in America.
The improve seemed to be the one positive segment, and most of that was left on the editing room floor.
I feel like I'm watching them set up the winner of the show to feel like a loser so they can discard her once the show is over (what is this, a Shot at Love?)
You saw what I saw - and a whole lot more. Thanks for sharing!
2 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:33 AM
I am taking up a collection for Tanya. We are going to burn those awful black high waisted pants with PLEATS AND POCKETS in the front that she insists upon wearing with that awful tan turtleneck. I could not imagine being that gorgeous, sweet and tacky all at the same time.
3 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 7, 2008 2:10 PM
A laugh riot as always, except for the pain of tasks like "be a balloon and roll on a bed of nails without popping" Loved the unlisted number--too funny! and you are soooo right about Kimsicle being the worst spokes model ever--why didn't hope just imitate her? They were hateful coz she ad libbed girl! Even the director said, stick to the script, but wait a minute, does that mean that all those late night infomercials that are still running when I wake up to discover I passed out again are FAKE!!! It's a script!? WHA >> > How can they memorize 3 and 4 hours of dialogue? I'm so, very, shocked!!! Poor Karin, probably not a good thing that she reminded me of Lucy with Vitavegamin . . . . for being a spokesmodel . . .
Anyway, so complete redonk (as flip would say) No one could have done that, since when is acting also writing a script, and I'm not sure I can make a cup of coffee in ten minutes, nevermind a masterpiece theatre moment for a commercial . . . . If I was on Hope's team, I would have whispered nice things about her to her, she always cries at that!
Lastly, I too fainted to the floor with complete whole hearted sum up of the group challenge . . . no not reality, they should have resorted to overdubs . . . seriously . . . No idea who'll win, they all have flaws in one area or another, and I guess it's going to be Bahia, as she's gorgeous and has that sexy smokey voice.
4 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:05 PM
Hey Guys:
Thanks for taking the time to post.
LisaMay: I was wondering about the "youth" factor as well, but Bahia's only 37, a relative youngster in the group. Of course, maybe that means she'll be the first to go this week...
Fire@will: I've been wondering all along how much regular modeling work would be available for the winner. My friends in the industry (I have a couple) seem to think that the entire thing is ludicrous and this is just another stunt to get Sean Patterson airtime. We'll see, but you raise a good point I'd love to see Celeste kick Brett Michael's ass in ROL3.
Fayellis1: I'd be happy to donate to your collection if you could get rid of the sequins as well.
Juddfan: Don't let this show ruin your faith in infomercials. Some things need to remain sacred in this life. I'm actually thinking Tanya or Celeste may take this thing, which would kind of bum me out. Sigh.
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 5:31 AM
Yenta I love your recaps. You are so funny!!! As soon as I saw Celestes husband i thought Dick Cheney too!!
I can't believe there's only one more episode Im so sad...
6 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:11 AM
Please disregard the above comment. Sadly, my son is a smartass...I don't know where he gets it from.
7 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:15 AM
HaHa.
At least he said something nice about you, but he should probably get his own account. And I agree great recap. I think Bahia was slated to win from the beginning.
8 of 9 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:33 AM
I like Bahia, she is really really pretty, however, I must agree with yentapatrol on the total Bull#(*& that they have never once mentioned she looks off all the same 5'5 that Hope was. I loved Hope, but her look did not come across as "model" in her pictures. It just looked like really pretty pictures of a really pretty woman. Between the 2 of them Bahia is a better model, all be it a short one
9 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 8, 2008 11:53 AM