Still trying to drum up some drama of discontent, the editors give us a shot of dinner back at the ranch accompanied by the theme music to an old cowboy movie. Of course, the ladies are still rehashing why their team lost, but they're doing it without screaming, spitting, or slapping; the three S's of Reality TV. Karin says that she feels the other two women kind of walked over her. And, in a Reality TV first, Hope agrees that she and Tanya didn't behave well to Karin and that the team as a whole didn't pull together. Go Hope!! For a moment I lost faith, but she pulled through.
Huh?
Back at the restaurant, our couples are clinking glasses while Celeste comes out with one long assed self involved toast. Afterward, Bahia and Liz hug and weep amidst proclamations of love and devotion.
While Bill and Celeste peck and agree that it's been nice to see each other.
Somehow, I would have expected something a little more passionate from 'always over-the-top' Celeste. I have to say that Bill does give romance and passion the old college try with a definite, "I love you." But, alas, Celeste has other things on her mind and responds, "I hope I win the show." Nothing like keeping the home fires burning.
Self-Flash
This week's Self-Flash is on relaxation and for once the spokeswoman doesn't seem like a crackhead.
The cutest Self Elf
Dana Point looks a lot like the kindergarten teacher everybody wanted and nobody ever got unless they were in a Disney movie. Her first tip is to use Lavendar scents to reduce stress and the women look enthralled. Dana's second tip is to use progressive muscle relaxation. This seems to follow nicely with the kindergarten theme of a teacher reaching her limit:
And having everybody lay down on their mats for a nap:
Elimination Challenge
The Kimsicle is waiting for the women in a studio space with an altered hair style and a manic smile.
I changed my hair. Somebody's going to go home. This is fun.
Apparently still under the impression that the remaining women are under age five, Kim welcomes the ladies with her best friendly adult manner. Her first lesson of the day is to teach the ladies that what they see behind her is a kitchen set.
Can you say 'Kitchen'?
K-I-T-C-H-E-N That's a hard one.
The Kimsicle explains that they will be filming a commercial while acting alongside a real professional and introduces, cover model, TV personality, and creator of her own fashion line, Daisy Fuentes. I have to say that I'm getting a little freaked out. Daisy Fuentes was a guest judge on the last show I recapped as well.
Fame whore or stalker? You decide.
Daisy tells the women that she's getting ready to launch her new all-natural Fuentes Fruit Fritata and she needs a co-star. The women go into hair and makeup armed with their scripts and we get a montage of the ladies practicing their lines for their stylists.
Celeste is the first of our women to go into rehearsal with Daisy and she seems pretty nervous. Jay Blumenthal, the commercial director, is there to greet her and put her at her ease by warning her that a bad commercial could end up costing Daisy millions of dollars in unrealized profits. No, pressure there.
Small time crook from Starsky and Hutch. Still has the wardrobe.
Except for starting to speak too early and of course over acting Celeste doesn't do too badly. Hope, as always, is adorable but she has trouble remembering her lines. Karin has trouble figuring out when not to look at the camera. Bahia is cursed with having a surplus of sex appeal and is a little too sultry for the Betty Crocker type atmosphere they're trying to create. I'm not sure that Bahia can really dial down that sexiness, I think it's just part of her, which makes me really curious as to how she's going to portray a bleeding woman in the Mary Magdalene movie. And, poor Tanya's critique is laying on the editing room floor. Overall, the Jayman doesn't seem too thrilled with ladies rehearsal, but he decides to forge ahead to the actual commercial.
Here we go...Introducing:
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Comments (9)
I thought the commercials were really good, considering they had to put cod liver oil in their mouth. On Americas Next Top Model, the girls would have spewed it out and then gotten praised for their ability to be honest. I think they sent Hope home because they wanted the first winner to be over 40.
1 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 7, 2008 6:35 AM
Yenta! Yenta! Yenta!
Another great recap.
I appreciate the mug shots at the start. I wish more recappers would do that.
The show did everything they could to sabotage the women, then acted like it meant there was something wrong with them. They can get abused like that in any corporate cubicle patch in America.
The improve seemed to be the one positive segment, and most of that was left on the editing room floor.
I feel like I'm watching them set up the winner of the show to feel like a loser so they can discard her once the show is over (what is this, a Shot at Love?)
You saw what I saw - and a whole lot more. Thanks for sharing!
2 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:33 AM
I am taking up a collection for Tanya. We are going to burn those awful black high waisted pants with PLEATS AND POCKETS in the front that she insists upon wearing with that awful tan turtleneck. I could not imagine being that gorgeous, sweet and tacky all at the same time.
3 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 7, 2008 2:10 PM
A laugh riot as always, except for the pain of tasks like "be a balloon and roll on a bed of nails without popping" Loved the unlisted number--too funny! and you are soooo right about Kimsicle being the worst spokes model ever--why didn't hope just imitate her? They were hateful coz she ad libbed girl! Even the director said, stick to the script, but wait a minute, does that mean that all those late night infomercials that are still running when I wake up to discover I passed out again are FAKE!!! It's a script!? WHA >> > How can they memorize 3 and 4 hours of dialogue? I'm so, very, shocked!!! Poor Karin, probably not a good thing that she reminded me of Lucy with Vitavegamin . . . . for being a spokesmodel . . .
Anyway, so complete redonk (as flip would say) No one could have done that, since when is acting also writing a script, and I'm not sure I can make a cup of coffee in ten minutes, nevermind a masterpiece theatre moment for a commercial . . . . If I was on Hope's team, I would have whispered nice things about her to her, she always cries at that!
Lastly, I too fainted to the floor with complete whole hearted sum up of the group challenge . . . no not reality, they should have resorted to overdubs . . . seriously . . . No idea who'll win, they all have flaws in one area or another, and I guess it's going to be Bahia, as she's gorgeous and has that sexy smokey voice.
4 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:05 PM
Hey Guys:
Thanks for taking the time to post.
LisaMay: I was wondering about the "youth" factor as well, but Bahia's only 37, a relative youngster in the group. Of course, maybe that means she'll be the first to go this week...
Fire@will: I've been wondering all along how much regular modeling work would be available for the winner. My friends in the industry (I have a couple) seem to think that the entire thing is ludicrous and this is just another stunt to get Sean Patterson airtime. We'll see, but you raise a good point I'd love to see Celeste kick Brett Michael's ass in ROL3.
Fayellis1: I'd be happy to donate to your collection if you could get rid of the sequins as well.
Juddfan: Don't let this show ruin your faith in infomercials. Some things need to remain sacred in this life. I'm actually thinking Tanya or Celeste may take this thing, which would kind of bum me out. Sigh.
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 5:31 AM
Yenta I love your recaps. You are so funny!!! As soon as I saw Celestes husband i thought Dick Cheney too!!
I can't believe there's only one more episode Im so sad...
6 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:11 AM
Please disregard the above comment. Sadly, my son is a smartass...I don't know where he gets it from.
7 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:15 AM
HaHa.
At least he said something nice about you, but he should probably get his own account. And I agree great recap. I think Bahia was slated to win from the beginning.
8 of 9 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:33 AM
I like Bahia, she is really really pretty, however, I must agree with yentapatrol on the total Bull#(*& that they have never once mentioned she looks off all the same 5'5 that Hope was. I loved Hope, but her look did not come across as "model" in her pictures. It just looked like really pretty pictures of a really pretty woman. Between the 2 of them Bahia is a better model, all be it a short one
9 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 8, 2008 11:53 AM