Likewise, the Kimsicle's reaction to Hope's commercial is equally blatant:
Sadly, Hope is looking pretty crushed after seeing her commercial. Honey, don't worry about it. In the real world, you can sue them if they sabotage your food at an audition.
Tanya is called up:
Robbie notes that they've gone from a crackhead with Karin to Xanax with Tanya and then he very politely compares her performance to a Stepford wife adding that she was a little more mechanical than he would like to see. The Kimsicle, registering the words: Xanax, Stepford wife, and mechanical, turns to Robbie and says excitedly, "I liked her!" LMAO. Strangely, we never get to see a clip of Tanya trying to force herself to swallow the tainted food.
Bahia is called last and the Kimsicle is not real impressed, saying that she doesn't find Bahia's entrance to be as convincingly warm and friendly as the other women.
Bahia's food reaction:
The Little General and Kim are impressed with Bahia's ability to repress her nauseated reaction until Daisy spills the beans about Bahia telling her that the fritata was "disgusting." Bev is horrified and all over the lack of professionalism.
Just an hour with my doctor and you'll never have to worry about hiding your feelings again.
The ladies are sent to the green room to wait for the judges' decision. Apparently, this is Robbie's week to lead the judging and he immediately starts in on Bahia comparing her manner to Natasha on Bullwinkle, which I have to admit is pretty funny. Robbie now finds Hope to be Hopeless, which I don't think is so funny. The General takes over the critique of Karin saying that three-dimensionally she loses control of her faculties and she's a disaster. Daisy thinks Celeste ended up blending in too much and the General agrees with her. When it comes to Tanya, the General wants to know if she was the absolute worst. However, we never hear the answer and the women are brought back in.
Once again, the Kimsicle repeats the prizes for winning the show. Then, the General takes a moment to explain that the judges' decision was rendered particularly difficult this week by the fact that each of the commercials was a catastrophe. It was, in fact, like watching one train derailment after another.
It was almost like someone tampered with your food.
The Kimsicle delivers the the judges' decisions amidst throbbing background music and many suspenseful pauses, while Botox Bev does her best Donald Duck imitation:
Bahia and Celeste are still on the board, leaving Karin, Hope and Tanya to face the chopping block. Tanya is still on the board and, then...so is Karin. Sob. Nooooooooo!!! Hope is done. Hope you will be missed.
Next week we take four women into the finale where they will struggle to create their own print ad campaign. Of course, first they have to pose on unicycles as they ride over a highwire while juggling flaming knives...
And we're left with the nagging questions of whether Kim's face will last long enough to get through the next episode before she can return to her perpetual state of cryogenic of preservation.
And whether the General's sneakers will maintain their blinding whiteness until the show is over.
So what do folks think? Any predictions on our winner? Let me know...
Hugs,
Yenta
****To read Chapter 14 of Yenta's novel, "Honor Among Thieves", http://forums.tvgasm.com/showthread.php?t=3532.
To start from the beginning, click here.
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Comments (9)
I thought the commercials were really good, considering they had to put cod liver oil in their mouth. On Americas Next Top Model, the girls would have spewed it out and then gotten praised for their ability to be honest. I think they sent Hope home because they wanted the first winner to be over 40.
1 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 7, 2008 6:35 AM
Yenta! Yenta! Yenta!
Another great recap.
I appreciate the mug shots at the start. I wish more recappers would do that.
The show did everything they could to sabotage the women, then acted like it meant there was something wrong with them. They can get abused like that in any corporate cubicle patch in America.
The improve seemed to be the one positive segment, and most of that was left on the editing room floor.
I feel like I'm watching them set up the winner of the show to feel like a loser so they can discard her once the show is over (what is this, a Shot at Love?)
You saw what I saw - and a whole lot more. Thanks for sharing!
2 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:33 AM
I am taking up a collection for Tanya. We are going to burn those awful black high waisted pants with PLEATS AND POCKETS in the front that she insists upon wearing with that awful tan turtleneck. I could not imagine being that gorgeous, sweet and tacky all at the same time.
3 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 7, 2008 2:10 PM
A laugh riot as always, except for the pain of tasks like "be a balloon and roll on a bed of nails without popping" Loved the unlisted number--too funny! and you are soooo right about Kimsicle being the worst spokes model ever--why didn't hope just imitate her? They were hateful coz she ad libbed girl! Even the director said, stick to the script, but wait a minute, does that mean that all those late night infomercials that are still running when I wake up to discover I passed out again are FAKE!!! It's a script!? WHA >> > How can they memorize 3 and 4 hours of dialogue? I'm so, very, shocked!!! Poor Karin, probably not a good thing that she reminded me of Lucy with Vitavegamin . . . . for being a spokesmodel . . .
Anyway, so complete redonk (as flip would say) No one could have done that, since when is acting also writing a script, and I'm not sure I can make a cup of coffee in ten minutes, nevermind a masterpiece theatre moment for a commercial . . . . If I was on Hope's team, I would have whispered nice things about her to her, she always cries at that!
Lastly, I too fainted to the floor with complete whole hearted sum up of the group challenge . . . no not reality, they should have resorted to overdubs . . . seriously . . . No idea who'll win, they all have flaws in one area or another, and I guess it's going to be Bahia, as she's gorgeous and has that sexy smokey voice.
4 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:05 PM
Hey Guys:
Thanks for taking the time to post.
LisaMay: I was wondering about the "youth" factor as well, but Bahia's only 37, a relative youngster in the group. Of course, maybe that means she'll be the first to go this week...
Fire@will: I've been wondering all along how much regular modeling work would be available for the winner. My friends in the industry (I have a couple) seem to think that the entire thing is ludicrous and this is just another stunt to get Sean Patterson airtime. We'll see, but you raise a good point I'd love to see Celeste kick Brett Michael's ass in ROL3.
Fayellis1: I'd be happy to donate to your collection if you could get rid of the sequins as well.
Juddfan: Don't let this show ruin your faith in infomercials. Some things need to remain sacred in this life. I'm actually thinking Tanya or Celeste may take this thing, which would kind of bum me out. Sigh.
Hugs,
Yenta
5 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 5:31 AM
Yenta I love your recaps. You are so funny!!! As soon as I saw Celestes husband i thought Dick Cheney too!!
I can't believe there's only one more episode Im so sad...
6 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:11 AM
Please disregard the above comment. Sadly, my son is a smartass...I don't know where he gets it from.
7 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:15 AM
HaHa.
At least he said something nice about you, but he should probably get his own account. And I agree great recap. I think Bahia was slated to win from the beginning.
8 of 9 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:33 AM
I like Bahia, she is really really pretty, however, I must agree with yentapatrol on the total Bull#(*& that they have never once mentioned she looks off all the same 5'5 that Hope was. I loved Hope, but her look did not come across as "model" in her pictures. It just looked like really pretty pictures of a really pretty woman. Between the 2 of them Bahia is a better model, all be it a short one
9 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 8, 2008 11:53 AM