Holla Gasmii,
It's here!! The SGTL finale and, Holy Crap Batman, am I beside myself!!! This has got to be the cheapest finale in the history of Reality TV. Seriously, did somebody abscond with the funds? Even Viva Hollywood, the bargain basement of Reality TV, had disco ball...
We just get to watch the Kimsicle melt into a cryogenic coma. It's not the same...
Photo Gallery:
In order of my personal fave's, our remaining finalists:
Karin:
Bahia:
Tanya:
Celeste:
Morning in the Loft
This is it, our last morning to watch our ladies as they grope their way through breakfast. The editors use the time to give us a montage of each lady's journey through the past episodes combined with a short interview. I really like seeing the women when they're hanging out in the loft, sans makeup and hair. So, for the finale, I decided a morning photo gallery was in order:
Karin:
"Before, when I took the time to look in the mirror, I didn't really look in the mirror. Now, I actually take the time to look and suddenly, I'm discovering what I look like and it's an interesting exploration."
Bahia:
"This is the first time I decide to realize a dream to the end without running away...Some people are afraid of failure, I was more afraid of success...When you know your beauty inside, you don't need validation."
Tanya:
"It's taken me 45 years to develop into a woman that I really admire and respect and for the first time in a lifetime, I can honestly say at the end of the day when I walk out of room as long as I remain true to self, I'm okay with the verdict."
Celeste:
"Today, I'm expecting something new and exciting; thats what's been really challenging, but fun, about this whole adventure and it has been an adventure."
...as we know, Celeste isn't a big fan of introspection...
The Ultimate Shaft
For the final episode, the Kimsicle decides not to phone in the morning call. Instead, she actually arrives at the women's loft with a cheery "Good morning, Ladies" as she congratulates the finalists and welcomes them to their final challenge.
You are so f*cked.
With an evil smile, she goes on to explain that today the women are going to have the opportunity to use everything they've learned up to now. So, lets see, they're going to do a runway show in burlap bags that involves poisoning themselves and swinging from a trapeze. Yay!!! Nope, I'm wrong. Apparently, what the women have learned during the previous episodes includes a completely different set of skills. Too bad that footage never made it to air. Instead, our ladies are going to design a cover for Self Magazine that stars them with the theme of "you at your best". They will then pitch this idea to the editorial board of the magazine. To accomplish this the women will have a total of three hours to put this idea together, a digital camera, a bag of craft supplies, and unlimited poster board. Yippee!!! And, BTW, I'm not joking. This really is the challenge. Finally, the pitch must include a self-portrait, a tagline, and the cover photo concept.
Surprise!!!
Enron stake holders had similar expressions.
And there's more!!! Without the slightest hint that anything is amiss with this challenge, the Kimsicle continues with, "Here's the catch." Because, hey, the challenge has been so reasonable up to now. But, no matter, the catch is that one of the women will be eliminated based on their pictures. You know, the pictures that they are going to take themselves with the handy dandy digital cameras.
The Kimsicle leaves and the ladies dump out their supply bags.
Tyra's got to be laughing her ass off.
I'm not only feeling bad for these women, I'm feeling bad for me. I wanted to see glamor, designer clothes, and high fashion; not edible glue, construction paper and glitter. However, the women jump in to the project and do a really nice job of helping each other. Celeste tells us that this project is especially hard for her since she's not given to introspection.
Profound concentration.
Because, according to the Kimsicle, this challenge will be judged on the picture of their self-portrait, the production team had meant to go all out and get our women the best photographers to work with. Sadly, all of the photogs in Manhattan and the surrounding burroughs were booked that day.
So, I push this button on the top?
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Comments (7)
Love, love, love your recaps!!! Hope you have a nice vacation.
1 of 7 | Posted by Clair | Posted on July 13, 2008 8:20 PM
Tanya was always my favorite and while she was not the most model looking like Karin and Bahia, I thought the prize was more fitting to someone with her look. Bahia and Karin look more like Vogue models
2 of 7 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 14, 2008 11:24 AM
Yenta Yenta
Thanks for recapping what turned out to be a show gone horribly wrong.
Loved your screencaps!!!
Have a good vacation and come back soon.
3 of 7 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on July 14, 2008 12:53 PM
Yenta, thanks for the shout out to the woman inside me! Have to cop to the fact that I'm really a guy tho . . . . dun dun dun!!! LOL!
I soooo miss this show and the models . . . they were so endearing, I want them to do a roommates series . . . or a sequel to this! Harrrrumph, was it 5 epi's or wha???
And thanks Yenta, for harping on the cheap ass end challenge, and the fact that models always call the shots on cover shoots! Too Lame!!!!
Celestia was really over the top, but does look incredible for her age.
I could see all 3 top models getting work, and I hope they got signed anyway--I swear I saw the grandmom from the first week in an ad for senior something or other, or some drug--she had the white hair again, and her inner glow. And Bahia needs to call Oil of Olay today!!!
Well, nice to have such a huggy warm ending, and Tanya, who I wasn't betting on winning, super stepped it up for that last one, and won deservedly--she truly was a model for the last shoot, doing a great range of looks and poses--I was duly impressed!
Well, sniff, guess this is goodbye--until I see some of you on some other show soon!!! HEARTS and CANDIES!!!
4 of 7 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 14, 2008 2:26 PM
Tyra is just mad because that was her idea first. On Cycle 5 Kim won the challenge and got to be on an episode of Veronica Mars.
5 of 7 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on July 15, 2008 1:04 AM
Bahia should have won. Did anyone else really look at Tanya when she had on the black pants and shirt? She looked like a pear. Her hips are huge and she has no waist.
6 of 7 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on July 15, 2008 1:41 AM
Great recaps.
The contestants (for onece) were really likable.
The production, for all the reasons you pointed out, not so much.
I think they'll all get work.
I wish there had been at least a token prize we could relate to (Hmm. I guess "empty promise" is something we can relate to.)
Enjoy the vacay! (Is that like Prozac?)
7 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 15, 2008 9:03 AM