Hey Gasmii,
We're back for the fourth episode of SGTL with only two more to go. That means that the judges, editors and producers have just three hours left to whittle seven model wannabes down to one all-encompassing, beautiful, poised, and above all relatable Wilhelmina Model. But, this is the ninja production team from hell. Three hours is way too much time for them. I'm guessing that they'll wrap this season up in just over 90 minutes of footage, spread out over three hours and filled in by commercial after painful boring commercial. And, if the commercials aren't enough to take up the slack, the producers have a new trick up their sleeve--invite the sponsors on the show for their own mini infomercial segment. Wheeeeee!!! This week we get to watch Jenny Craig advertising during the commercial breaks and during the actual show. How cool is that.
Coming soon to Reality TV everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love our ladies, which is why I hate being robbed of watching them. Seriously, the actual footage from the show felt like it amounted to a whopping 20 minutes at the most. If this trend keeps up, us poor recappers might end up being forced to recap the commercials as well...Anyway, on to our awesome, if shortened, episode.
Photogallery
Our remaining wonderous grannies:
Self Flash The Newest Trend in Sadism
Once again, we start the day with the creepy stalker photogs slinking around the sleeping models' bedrooms. I'm telling you there's no way in hell that I would agree to be filmed when I was sleeping. Way too creepy and beside, mouth open drooling happens to the best of us.
Note to Self: Never sleep with ear plugs on a Reality TV show
Our beautiful ladies peaceful slumber is shattered by a crack addict corporate jogger that some idiot handed a whistle and let in to the loft.
I can't believe this woman hasn't been shot by now.
Oh, oops, my bad. The crack addict corporate jogger turns out to be Meghan Buchan, the fitness director of Self Magazine. What the hell is Self Magazine putting into their employees' coffee? And, what sadistic PA gave her a whistle? Not surprisingly our groggy models are a little less than enthused by this development.
"You can drop the whistle or we're going to put it where the sun don't shine." Of course, she'd probably still continue to blow on it, even if it hurt a little bit.
Manic Meg manages to gather the women into the living room for a formal introduction and explains that she comes bearing gifts. And what a gift it is. Introducing the Jump Snap!!! A ropeless jump rope. How clever is that? Now, there are two articles to keep track of instead of one. The Jump Snap consists of two handles with a short stretch of dangling rope hanging off of each. Meg happily explains that the idea is to mimic the motion of the jump rope and in time the jumper can even add weights. But, I suspect they may have other hidden benefits.
Okay, so exactly where do you want me to put these?
After the women use their fantasy ropes, Manic Meg gives them the marvelous news that women after 35 start losing bone density, so it's imperative that they start weight training to compensate and speed their metabolisms. Toward that end she passes out elastic bands and the women embark on a series of resistance exercises while good ole Meg leads them in the most sexist chant. Ever. I'm serious. This chant dates back to the time when gym classes were separated and the single goal of most women was to marry and have children. For those of you who are young enough to have been spared the humiliation of standing in sweating rows while squeezing your palms together to flex your pecs to the catchy refrain, I thought it was worth repeating. "We must, we must, we must increase our bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys depend on us." Thank you Self Magazine. In one Self-Flash you not only managed to make one of my favorite childhood pastimes technologically obsolete, but you also brought the idea of self-empowerment through physical fitness to a virtual standstill.
The Morning Call
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Comments (12)
Dear Yenta,
I've been reading your recaps and chapters for a few months and I've become convinced that in "real life" you are actually one of my favorite writers. Or at least I think you wrote one of my favorite book series. Anyway, it's driving my crazy to find out if its really you. Is there any way you could let me know your name or who you are?
1 of 12 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on June 29, 2008 5:52 PM
Nice recap.
I thought Tanya had the best shots - of several great ones - in both competitions... and I pretty much agreed with the elimination choices (I was worried that Bahia would be cut because of the trapeze balk thing).
The diamond pics were just incredible. Very impressed with that photographer (and the graphic artist who further enhanced them).
I thought the conversation about Malissa was interesting in that the two women were so mature in their comments. Most shows have younger, more selfish contestants that tend to say really catty things. Again, I just find myself really liking all these women that much more. (Not a bad thing.)
2 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 29, 2008 7:03 PM
Rosesarered, I'm not sure how to answer you. Writing for Flipit is like taking a nice vacation in Vegas. And like Vegas, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but that only happens if I maintain my anonymity...
Fire@will what a nice person you are. Your friendly/insightful comments always make this site a nice place to visit.
Hugs,
Yenta
3 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:13 AM
It seems like the producers are purposely cutting out huge chunks of this show so there's nothing to laugh at. They didn't even show more than a couple minutes of Beverly Johnsons frozen face.
Yenta I think your scaring them...
Loved the recap and BTW Im really liking your book. Id like to know who you are to. Or at least other books that youve written...
4 of 12 | Posted by muscleman | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:47 AM
okay - what books? I love yenta's recaps so I want to read her books too!
I think Bahia is beautiful but really thought Karin outshined everyone this week. Can't stand Celeste.
5 of 12 | Posted by chachi | Posted on June 30, 2008 1:57 PM
What a riot this recap was, Yenta--Loved it!!! And I will add that I would read any of your books, recappers--always the best stuff here!!!! I esp. loved your notes to Flipit! Too funny!
Wow, to Karin, I didn't expect her to climb so high this week--Both shots rocked, and she's still one of my faves!!! Also surprised with Tanya--I thought she wasn't going to go far . . . silly me . . . but I feel your pain, Yenta, ouch to cut 2, I wonder how this show is doing, but I personally am loving it!!! Would it have killed them to do a fuller run on it . . . they seemed to promote the heck out of it, and call me crazy, but is there anything else "new" on TVland . . . I have a feeling I'm going to miss it--Too-too funny once again on the Kimsicle shots, and the Spokes people, let me guess, talking to a 35 or older woman is the same as addressing a child, NO!? Then why those faces . . . I could see the thought bubble "Now children . . . "
Look forward to next time!!!
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 30, 2008 4:53 PM
So funny, Yenta. I was laughing throughout. Thanks!
7 of 12 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on June 30, 2008 7:32 PM
Hi Guys:
Muscleman: I would love to see the footage that's been cut. You know there's got to be some pretty ludicrous footage.
Chachi: I think Karin outshown everybody as well. I'd say that she's my absolute fav but I don't want to put the Yenta curse on her.
Juddfan: You are so right about the spokespeople's condescending tone. I love the bubble idea. Too Funny. I hope you don't mind if I steal that in a photoshopped pic?
Mamatl: I'm glad you got a laugh. Hopefully, the next two episodes will supply us with some good humor as well.
As for the book thing; Chachi in the forum section under fictiongasm I've been posting chapters from a book I wrote a few years back that for a variety of reasons didn't go anywhere. But, for my other work, well, that will have to stay separate from my internet writing life. I'm not strong enough to handle a collision between such completely disparate worlds/styles of writing.
Heart,
Yenta
8 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:09 AM
Great recap, Yenta! Between the kimsicle screen shots, your notes to Flipit & all those damn infomercials, you had me rolling!!
Karin did an AMAZING job and I think she definitely deserved the win - "longing" is much more difficult to pull off than "surprised" but whatever...as long as she's still around.
Poor Bahia...and what a champ! I just like her more and more every week!
As for the double elimination...damn! I wasn't expecting that but then again I don't think I realized this show was only going to run for like a month...what gives? Come on TVLand...this is your time to shine!!
Can't wait for the next episode and recap!!
9 of 12 | Posted by smolls | Posted on July 1, 2008 8:54 AM
Tanya is my favorite although some days she would be more suited for WHAT NOT TO WEAR. That woman is walking gorgeous hanger but insists upon shopping the last 10 pages of the Ebony Fashion Fair Catalog. Also, I am shocked that no one has pointed out her uncanny resemblance to Veronica Webb
10 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:27 AM
Steal away, Yenta, I'd be honored! Good call on Veronica Webb, Fayellis1--in the final Karin shot, she's looking like Rosanna Arquette (sp?) Maybe she will take the whole thing, but I guess we have to see her walk again, eh?
And Yenta, I'm going to seek out that writing you mentioned, can you believe, a whole new world of Gasm to explore!!!!
11 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 1, 2008 1:28 PM
Smolls: I totally feel your pain on the shortness of this show. Brace yourself, but my guess is that they're going to have to eliminate 2 or even 3 (gasp) this week. But, probably just two.
Fayellis: Love the Veronica Webb reference. I absolutely missed it, but as soon as I read your comment it was like, 'how could I have been so blind?'
Juddfan: I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 13 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow morning : )
Hugs,
Yenta
12 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 2:24 PM