After listening to Self Magazine's psycho fitness trainer, the Kimsicle's disembodied voice on the morning call actually sounds somewhat soothing. She tells the women that today they are going to apply what they learned from the Self Flash when they step outside their comfort zone and fly high. But, first, they have to choose an emotion, write it down and seal it in an envelope. The savvier women realize that a sealed envelope means that the emotion they are choosing is the one that they are going to be stuck with later and there ain't going to be no changing it. Smart women go for easy non-complicated emotions: surprise, excitement. Others go for more abstract emotions: longing, passion. And, moving on from the morning call...Anybody else feel like these clips are shorter than usual?
The Leg-Up Challenge
To appropriately showcase the maturity and elegance of older models, the producers take them to Hudson River Trapeze, where low and behold a trapeze is set up with a lunatic swinging back and forth. The ladies reactions to the sight are varied. Roxanne thinks that she's going to be a natural because she hangs upside down all the time. Kind of like a bat or the undead.
Jungle gyms, people's closets, billboards, really anytime I get the urge.
The Kimsicle is waiting for them, wearing a perky ponytail and flanked by two male statues. Except, that they're not statues, they're aliiiiive. I think that sounded better in my head.
The Kimsicle's statuesque accessories are introduced as photographer Bradford Noble and trapeze owner Jonathon Conan. Now, without offending any of my readers, (World Harmony this is for you) I would like to suggest that Bradford Noble might possibly represent a walking stereotype for a flaming gay male. Any humor that I might find in his character is based on the stereotypical part of the description, not the gay part. Personally, if reincarnation exists, I want to come back as Tim Gunn. I'm not kidding. But, the Dr. Seuss outfit, the persistent lisp, and the obvious compulsion on the part of Bradford to strike a pose are just too funny. Maybe, I want to come back as Bradford. This is a guy that appears to be loving life.
Guess which one is Bradford? Hint: It's not the one in the middle.
The Kimsicle is working hard to inveigh some drama into her carefully memorized lines. "Remember the sealed envelope I asked you to bring?"
Blank look...pause...remember next line...
Raise eyebrows. Deliver line:
"The one with the emotion chosen by you?"
The women all nod. Which is good, because that's the emotion that they will have to portray when they're swinging back and forth on the trapeze. So, WTF does this challenge have to do with the Self-Flash fitness fiasco from that morning? But, sadly, nobody asks and the Kimsicle has no answers for me. The women that chose simple emotions are grinning broadly. And, then, there's Karin...
But, I was sure Beverly would appreciate the existential aspects of longing...
The Kimsicle ruthlessly continues explaining that there's a lot at stake today, because the prize is "safety from elimination of this round." First, that makes no sense. Second, WTF? Did Bravo patent the term "immunity"? In an effort to clarify, the Kimsicle adds, "That's right, the winner automatically stays on the board." Which is another way of saying that the winner gets immunity. Who is coming up with this stuff? Immunity is a hallowed Reality TV precept, there's history there. You hear that SGTL? Don't f*ck with immunity. Having delivered the dire news, the Kimsicle retreats leaving the women to do their best Cirque de Soleil imitations.
Just me and Leonardo. I believe. It's meant to be.
The women bustle around getting into makeup and sharing their worries. Then, Melissa is up first and Tanya immediately launches into a full on cheer. "Melissa she's our girl. Melissa. Go! Go!" Which is kind of sweet in a bizarre high school kind of way. Melissa perches on the edge of the platform gripping the trapeze bar for dear life while Bradford, the photog, reads out her emotion. Fear!! He announces dramatically. Really? Melissa answers, no irony here. And with that, Melissa launches. It's kind of weird that even though she's clearly scared, her expression doesn't emote much fear; just an open mouth.
Tanya's emotions is confidence and Bradford is nice enough to act it out for her.
I'm not sure how much attention Tanya is paying him while she chants, "I'm so scared. I'm so scared." But, somehow, she pulls it together and launches herself.
Hope's emotion is excitement and she's totally on board with this lunatic challenge. Bradford loves her and how could he not, she's adorable.
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Comments (12)
Dear Yenta,
I've been reading your recaps and chapters for a few months and I've become convinced that in "real life" you are actually one of my favorite writers. Or at least I think you wrote one of my favorite book series. Anyway, it's driving my crazy to find out if its really you. Is there any way you could let me know your name or who you are?
1 of 12 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on June 29, 2008 5:52 PM
Nice recap.
I thought Tanya had the best shots - of several great ones - in both competitions... and I pretty much agreed with the elimination choices (I was worried that Bahia would be cut because of the trapeze balk thing).
The diamond pics were just incredible. Very impressed with that photographer (and the graphic artist who further enhanced them).
I thought the conversation about Malissa was interesting in that the two women were so mature in their comments. Most shows have younger, more selfish contestants that tend to say really catty things. Again, I just find myself really liking all these women that much more. (Not a bad thing.)
2 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 29, 2008 7:03 PM
Rosesarered, I'm not sure how to answer you. Writing for Flipit is like taking a nice vacation in Vegas. And like Vegas, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but that only happens if I maintain my anonymity...
Fire@will what a nice person you are. Your friendly/insightful comments always make this site a nice place to visit.
Hugs,
Yenta
3 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:13 AM
It seems like the producers are purposely cutting out huge chunks of this show so there's nothing to laugh at. They didn't even show more than a couple minutes of Beverly Johnsons frozen face.
Yenta I think your scaring them...
Loved the recap and BTW Im really liking your book. Id like to know who you are to. Or at least other books that youve written...
4 of 12 | Posted by muscleman | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:47 AM
okay - what books? I love yenta's recaps so I want to read her books too!
I think Bahia is beautiful but really thought Karin outshined everyone this week. Can't stand Celeste.
5 of 12 | Posted by chachi | Posted on June 30, 2008 1:57 PM
What a riot this recap was, Yenta--Loved it!!! And I will add that I would read any of your books, recappers--always the best stuff here!!!! I esp. loved your notes to Flipit! Too funny!
Wow, to Karin, I didn't expect her to climb so high this week--Both shots rocked, and she's still one of my faves!!! Also surprised with Tanya--I thought she wasn't going to go far . . . silly me . . . but I feel your pain, Yenta, ouch to cut 2, I wonder how this show is doing, but I personally am loving it!!! Would it have killed them to do a fuller run on it . . . they seemed to promote the heck out of it, and call me crazy, but is there anything else "new" on TVland . . . I have a feeling I'm going to miss it--Too-too funny once again on the Kimsicle shots, and the Spokes people, let me guess, talking to a 35 or older woman is the same as addressing a child, NO!? Then why those faces . . . I could see the thought bubble "Now children . . . "
Look forward to next time!!!
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 30, 2008 4:53 PM
So funny, Yenta. I was laughing throughout. Thanks!
7 of 12 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on June 30, 2008 7:32 PM
Hi Guys:
Muscleman: I would love to see the footage that's been cut. You know there's got to be some pretty ludicrous footage.
Chachi: I think Karin outshown everybody as well. I'd say that she's my absolute fav but I don't want to put the Yenta curse on her.
Juddfan: You are so right about the spokespeople's condescending tone. I love the bubble idea. Too Funny. I hope you don't mind if I steal that in a photoshopped pic?
Mamatl: I'm glad you got a laugh. Hopefully, the next two episodes will supply us with some good humor as well.
As for the book thing; Chachi in the forum section under fictiongasm I've been posting chapters from a book I wrote a few years back that for a variety of reasons didn't go anywhere. But, for my other work, well, that will have to stay separate from my internet writing life. I'm not strong enough to handle a collision between such completely disparate worlds/styles of writing.
Heart,
Yenta
8 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:09 AM
Great recap, Yenta! Between the kimsicle screen shots, your notes to Flipit & all those damn infomercials, you had me rolling!!
Karin did an AMAZING job and I think she definitely deserved the win - "longing" is much more difficult to pull off than "surprised" but whatever...as long as she's still around.
Poor Bahia...and what a champ! I just like her more and more every week!
As for the double elimination...damn! I wasn't expecting that but then again I don't think I realized this show was only going to run for like a month...what gives? Come on TVLand...this is your time to shine!!
Can't wait for the next episode and recap!!
9 of 12 | Posted by smolls | Posted on July 1, 2008 8:54 AM
Tanya is my favorite although some days she would be more suited for WHAT NOT TO WEAR. That woman is walking gorgeous hanger but insists upon shopping the last 10 pages of the Ebony Fashion Fair Catalog. Also, I am shocked that no one has pointed out her uncanny resemblance to Veronica Webb
10 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:27 AM
Steal away, Yenta, I'd be honored! Good call on Veronica Webb, Fayellis1--in the final Karin shot, she's looking like Rosanna Arquette (sp?) Maybe she will take the whole thing, but I guess we have to see her walk again, eh?
And Yenta, I'm going to seek out that writing you mentioned, can you believe, a whole new world of Gasm to explore!!!!
11 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 1, 2008 1:28 PM
Smolls: I totally feel your pain on the shortness of this show. Brace yourself, but my guess is that they're going to have to eliminate 2 or even 3 (gasp) this week. But, probably just two.
Fayellis: Love the Veronica Webb reference. I absolutely missed it, but as soon as I read your comment it was like, 'how could I have been so blind?'
Juddfan: I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 13 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow morning : )
Hugs,
Yenta
12 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 2:24 PM