What's Reality TV without some serious backstabbing bitchiness on the part contestants? Sigh. For the first time, I'm feeling kind of bad for our producers. I mean these are not backstabbing women. They're nice, open women. The majority of which I'd be happy to hangout with. So, what's a Reality TV producer to do without any psychos to carry the show? Well, they do their best to stir up a little drama by showing us a short interlude with Tanya asking Hope who she would eliminate. Now, on ANTM these conversations are almost always the basis for some screaming and some tears. Sadly, not much happens here. Hope says that she would eliminate Melissa because she thinks her pictures look like a pinup girl. Tanya is shocked. Tanya thinks that Melissa has a clean, fresh look. But Hope is not to be swayed and points out that Melissa's huge boobs contradict any clean fresh look that she might have. And that's pretty much it. Not much drama here. But we do get some humor as we cut to a Jenny Craig commercial for those viewers who might be sufficiently overwhelmed and brainwashed to call in. Followed by a laxative commercial for those viewers suffering from eating/digestive disorders. And, finally, for those of us who don't bother with dieting, we get a Dairy Queen commercial advertising 99 cent hot dogs. Okay, Dairy Queen wins. I'm getting some food...
Elimination Challenge
This week our elimination challenge is all about selling diamonds and I'm psyched. I love diamonds. So, I'm set for a little vicarious hedonism. The Kimsicle explains to our ladies that the challenge is to sell jewelry by telling a story in a single photograph. The story that they tell is up to them. Then she introduces their photog Fadil Berisha. He's photographed Cheryl Tiegs, Halle Berry and Botox Bev. Since I have never heard of Fadil Berisha, I did some googling to discover that he's been heavily involved the pageant world for the last several years. And, sticking with the pageant theme, the women are going to wear dresses designed by Sherri Hill, designer to pageant winners the world over. But the most important component is the diamonds. Our ladies will get to wear diamonds by Barbara Parker Jewelry and me likey:
Note to Flipit: I have a birthday coming up...
And, just in case the photog, dresses and diamonds aren't enough, the ladies will get the two final accessories that no mature women should be without:
Note to Flipit: Forget the diamonds. We can split the boys. Heart, Yenta
Nothing like handsome young male models to put a smile on a mature woman's face. Okay, this show is definitely getting to me. Much more and I'll be locked in my bedroom chanting, "we must, we must..."
Now, Fadil might be the best photog going, but personally I find him a little creepy. He decides to shoot Hope as a black Audrey Hepburn and keeps trying to hide her tattoos with her shawl. Hope's story is that she's a rich glam woman and the boys are the playmates that serve her when she needs them to. Fadil chuckles over the sexual implications and during the shoot implores Hope to give him sexy, really sexy. So, Hope does. Maybe Fadil should have asked for moderately sexy, because when Hope turns it on, Fadil is suddenly imploring, "Not that much sex. Calm down." Hope, you little vixen, you scared him.
Celeste's story is that she's a jewel thief. She's looking gorgeous but after fourteen years of marriage, she's a little bit nervous about working with the male models. I actually appreciated hearing this, it make Celeste seem a little bit more human to me.
Tanya's story is that both of the male models are boyfriends from the past, but now she's the black widow. Despite being married, Tanya's not too concerned about posing with the young men. She figures that her husband thinks she's sexy so the picture should turn him on. Honey, either your hubby is a decided voyeur or you're in fantasyland. Not that there's anything wrong with being a voyeur.
Melissa's story isn't so much a story as a state of being. She just wants to be the center of attention and adored by all men. And the male models are quite willing to adore her, as they nuzzle and kiss her shoulders. And it seems like Melissa could use a little shall I say 'affection' in her life, or at least a vibrator. Her response is immediate and obvious, as she has a tiny little orgasm on the spot saying, "Oh, that did something to me. That sent chills down my entire body."
No, really I'm okay, but I'll need to take him with me.
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Comments (12)
Dear Yenta,
I've been reading your recaps and chapters for a few months and I've become convinced that in "real life" you are actually one of my favorite writers. Or at least I think you wrote one of my favorite book series. Anyway, it's driving my crazy to find out if its really you. Is there any way you could let me know your name or who you are?
1 of 12 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on June 29, 2008 5:52 PM
Nice recap.
I thought Tanya had the best shots - of several great ones - in both competitions... and I pretty much agreed with the elimination choices (I was worried that Bahia would be cut because of the trapeze balk thing).
The diamond pics were just incredible. Very impressed with that photographer (and the graphic artist who further enhanced them).
I thought the conversation about Malissa was interesting in that the two women were so mature in their comments. Most shows have younger, more selfish contestants that tend to say really catty things. Again, I just find myself really liking all these women that much more. (Not a bad thing.)
2 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 29, 2008 7:03 PM
Rosesarered, I'm not sure how to answer you. Writing for Flipit is like taking a nice vacation in Vegas. And like Vegas, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but that only happens if I maintain my anonymity...
Fire@will what a nice person you are. Your friendly/insightful comments always make this site a nice place to visit.
Hugs,
Yenta
3 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:13 AM
It seems like the producers are purposely cutting out huge chunks of this show so there's nothing to laugh at. They didn't even show more than a couple minutes of Beverly Johnsons frozen face.
Yenta I think your scaring them...
Loved the recap and BTW Im really liking your book. Id like to know who you are to. Or at least other books that youve written...
4 of 12 | Posted by muscleman | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:47 AM
okay - what books? I love yenta's recaps so I want to read her books too!
I think Bahia is beautiful but really thought Karin outshined everyone this week. Can't stand Celeste.
5 of 12 | Posted by chachi | Posted on June 30, 2008 1:57 PM
What a riot this recap was, Yenta--Loved it!!! And I will add that I would read any of your books, recappers--always the best stuff here!!!! I esp. loved your notes to Flipit! Too funny!
Wow, to Karin, I didn't expect her to climb so high this week--Both shots rocked, and she's still one of my faves!!! Also surprised with Tanya--I thought she wasn't going to go far . . . silly me . . . but I feel your pain, Yenta, ouch to cut 2, I wonder how this show is doing, but I personally am loving it!!! Would it have killed them to do a fuller run on it . . . they seemed to promote the heck out of it, and call me crazy, but is there anything else "new" on TVland . . . I have a feeling I'm going to miss it--Too-too funny once again on the Kimsicle shots, and the Spokes people, let me guess, talking to a 35 or older woman is the same as addressing a child, NO!? Then why those faces . . . I could see the thought bubble "Now children . . . "
Look forward to next time!!!
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 30, 2008 4:53 PM
So funny, Yenta. I was laughing throughout. Thanks!
7 of 12 | Posted by mamatl | Posted on June 30, 2008 7:32 PM
Hi Guys:
Muscleman: I would love to see the footage that's been cut. You know there's got to be some pretty ludicrous footage.
Chachi: I think Karin outshown everybody as well. I'd say that she's my absolute fav but I don't want to put the Yenta curse on her.
Juddfan: You are so right about the spokespeople's condescending tone. I love the bubble idea. Too Funny. I hope you don't mind if I steal that in a photoshopped pic?
Mamatl: I'm glad you got a laugh. Hopefully, the next two episodes will supply us with some good humor as well.
As for the book thing; Chachi in the forum section under fictiongasm I've been posting chapters from a book I wrote a few years back that for a variety of reasons didn't go anywhere. But, for my other work, well, that will have to stay separate from my internet writing life. I'm not strong enough to handle a collision between such completely disparate worlds/styles of writing.
Heart,
Yenta
8 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:09 AM
Great recap, Yenta! Between the kimsicle screen shots, your notes to Flipit & all those damn infomercials, you had me rolling!!
Karin did an AMAZING job and I think she definitely deserved the win - "longing" is much more difficult to pull off than "surprised" but whatever...as long as she's still around.
Poor Bahia...and what a champ! I just like her more and more every week!
As for the double elimination...damn! I wasn't expecting that but then again I don't think I realized this show was only going to run for like a month...what gives? Come on TVLand...this is your time to shine!!
Can't wait for the next episode and recap!!
9 of 12 | Posted by smolls | Posted on July 1, 2008 8:54 AM
Tanya is my favorite although some days she would be more suited for WHAT NOT TO WEAR. That woman is walking gorgeous hanger but insists upon shopping the last 10 pages of the Ebony Fashion Fair Catalog. Also, I am shocked that no one has pointed out her uncanny resemblance to Veronica Webb
10 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:27 AM
Steal away, Yenta, I'd be honored! Good call on Veronica Webb, Fayellis1--in the final Karin shot, she's looking like Rosanna Arquette (sp?) Maybe she will take the whole thing, but I guess we have to see her walk again, eh?
And Yenta, I'm going to seek out that writing you mentioned, can you believe, a whole new world of Gasm to explore!!!!
11 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 1, 2008 1:28 PM
Smolls: I totally feel your pain on the shortness of this show. Brace yourself, but my guess is that they're going to have to eliminate 2 or even 3 (gasp) this week. But, probably just two.
Fayellis: Love the Veronica Webb reference. I absolutely missed it, but as soon as I read your comment it was like, 'how could I have been so blind?'
Juddfan: I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 13 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow morning : )
Hugs,
Yenta
12 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on July 1, 2008 2:24 PM