The only time I've done a move like that was in college when someone blew an airhorn over me while I was sleeping. Although I'm sure Quest can do it without shitting themselves.
Just in case you thought this feeling of talent and style could never end - it's time for that to come to a crashing halt with more moments with Snuggle Bear and his Dancing Minions of Fucking Atrocious Dancers!
Apparently Snuggle found this asshole dancing in a parking lot - by a dumpster. So close... but yet so far away. Just a little further back sweetheart.
The cast watches videos of all the submitted dancers. And the winner is: Rheo T. from Florida! What does he win?!
The loss of his pride on national TV! Hooray!
Well I can't say that prize wasn't deserved.
Time for the solos - that may giveth - and may taketh away! Up first - Chelsea T. I've never seen so many spins in a solo!!! "It couldn't have been THAT many!" you say?! Oh but it was - I slo-mo'd that shit and counted - 21 spins! In just 30 seconds of dancing! That means she was spinning for most of her solo. There was approx 9 seconds of dance moves that didn't require spinning. Ok - you get my point.
Afterwards Cat says "Chesea - why are you smiling?!" I'll tell you why - she's fucking dizzy!
Up next is Thayne - his solo is good - but there's also alot of frantic running around. Sometimes I think the dancers do a lot of "Oh shit - oh shit - what do I do - please don't cut me - ahhh - what am I doing?!?" when they perform their solos. Not that I blame them. The pressure's ON. If it was me I'd stand there and make excuses to music. "I had a really great dance planned and then I forgot the shirt I wanted to wear for it - sooooo I'll just do it next week, ok?"
Our next solo is Comfort. Her solo seems much more performance-oriented. Although with Hip-Hop she's sort of limited - not alot of "WOW" moments. She needs some crazy pop-lock moves to pull out in times like these. Actually I can't think of anyone who couldn't benefit from having a pop-lock move in their back pocket. You could use it during dinner parties, awkward waiting rooms or when your significant other catches you cheating. "This isn't what it looks like! See - we were just doing the pop-lock wave! Pa-chah! Bam!"
Chris is up next. I'm done with Vanilla - if he's the one to go I wouldn't be sad. I swear he did the same dance as last week when he was in the bottom. And didn't he end with this move last week?
What the fuck is this?! The dance equivalent of "I've got your nose!" with the judges?!
Here comes Kourtni. I think she totally rocks her solo. It was something a little different, it actually LOOKED like she choreographed it to THAT song and it showed her well. Perhaps Nigel's pep-talk from earlier worked. Maybe Kourtni's strategy is to have really good solos every week. That-a-girl, always plan for the worst!
And lastly, Matt. He seems all over the board. Spinning all over - not very structured. I don't think he was planning on being in the bottom 3 again this week.
And that outfit sure isn't helping. He looks like if Peter Pan attended Bayside High, the "Saved by the Bell" school. But gayer.
The judges then leave to deliberate (not without Adam first knocking his drink all over the wires and leaving it for some poor bastard PA to wipe it up).
And now it's time for the special guest performer - Jordin Sparks! There's a clicking sound in the beginning of her song and I totally thought it was here heels as she walked out! I was like "Did they mic her fucking heels!? That's bad ass!" But no.
Her singing is good but I REALLY wish she could have sang "No Air" with Chris Brown. And since her performance is a little - well - boring, I thought it would be a good idea if "SYTYCD" adopted the "Dancing with the Stars" idea of having professional dancers dance to the song that the guest is singing. Much more entertaining than watching Jordin prance around in heels. It's fine on American Idol (a singing show) because there's the added plus of waiting for them to fuck their song up - but on this show - doesn't cut it.
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Comments (16)
first of all i have to say i have been with this sight for over 2 years and i have never laughed so hard at a recap-i swear-i look forward to your recaps then the show itself-my husband keeps asking why i laugh so hard-what can i say??-THANK YOU Bbitz!! and now for the show...I am so glad Vanilla went home he was just sooooooo boring-and though i liked Chelsea i liked Comfort more.
LOL on Mary-i really hope she does read your recaps...My favs for now are Joshua and Katee--- Mark and Chelsi---
And i can't tell you how i cringed while waving my fist at the screen everytime i saw Kat's dress-UGH!!!!!
1 of 16 | Posted by yuds101 | Posted on June 30, 2008 3:55 PM
Wow! Thanks "yuds"! Much appreciated! Keep reading and pass it on to friends! You made my day. I plan on printing your comment out and putting it on my mother's fridge. That'll show her. And she thinks I'm wasting my college education. HA HA!
2 of 16 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on June 30, 2008 5:30 PM
Yes. Another FINE recap; and a testament to our Amercian education system.
I was okay with Chris leaving. I really liked Chelsea, but all three of the women were great, so it was a toss-up. I felt Chelsea didn't show her best the last two weeks (partly due to bad wardrobe and unlucky dance picks, though).
I still wish they'd let them all stay longer before we had to eliminate them.
Twitch and Joshua deliver every week, and remain my picks to make the finals.
And... just show your mom that fat TVgasm paycheck; THEN see who is nagging you and climbing into her oven...
3 of 16 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 30, 2008 7:12 PM
LOL! You crack me up fire@will! If only!
4 of 16 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on June 30, 2008 8:10 PM
Poor Comfort, first she had gay now she has gayer. Maybe she'll Matt as her partner eventually and have gayest.
5 of 16 | Posted by Bloodbath | Posted on June 30, 2008 8:26 PM
Another great recap, Bbitz!
I was not sad about Vanilla going home, the dude had zero personality...
umm... I'm on the fence about Chelsea. I think she's a better all around dancer than Comfort, I just think she was very unlucky with the dances they picked... I think, in this case, personality won over technicality again...
Mark and Chelsea H. are still my faves, I hope Jess gets booted next, she just annoys the sh*t out of me :)
LOL at the audience on the line screen shot! nice one :D
Looking forward to your next recap!
6 of 16 | Posted by KrispyDixie | Posted on July 1, 2008 12:33 AM
Bloodbath
What? You think Matt is the most flamboyant of those 3? I'd say Chris for sure...
Also, I'm kinda ready for Gev and Courtney to leave. I don't like either one of them. Chelsie leaving was pretty sad, I really like her, but at this point since they've gotten rid of Susie, I like everyone left (besides Courtney and Gev, of course) so the rest of the season is going to be so sad! At least, as sad as I can get about a dancers on a show in a country I don't live in...
Oh, I also wouldn't be particularly broken up if Kourtni or Matt left, although I guess they both seem nice...
7 of 16 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on July 1, 2008 5:23 AM
Oh, and as nice as it was to see Dominic and Hok and...someone I don't know back on the stage, I was really waiting for the dancing to start at any point during that performance...
8 of 16 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on July 1, 2008 5:28 AM
Great recap bBitz!! I had no probs with Vanilla hitting the road but I did like Chelsea and maybe I just liked her hair the most (she has the cutest bangs!).
And I really like Kourtni despite the ridonkulous spelling and I like her even more for dancing to Ani DiFranco (LOVE her and it took me back to my college days)...but for some reason the collective America does not like her...come on girl!
Twitchington are still my favorite but I like pretty much everybody except "The Little Mermaid" girl but I can't figure out why...hmmm.
Oh, and Cat's dress was HORRIBLE...it looked like someone glued an orgami'd napkin to the top of her dress...FUGALICIOUS!
9 of 16 | Posted by smolls | Posted on July 1, 2008 10:45 AM
Love your recaps, especially the caption comments! Oh, when we all saw Cat come out in that outfit, we thought, did she put that dress on upside down?? And then the kids all yelled, "Turn your dress over" every time they saw her!
Cat really enjoyed standing next to Jordan, for once she didn't tower over everyone!
10 of 16 | Posted by valmommyt | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:22 AM
Ugh! Bbitz I love, love, LOVE reading your recaps ... But dancers do NOT call turns "spins." Other than that, you are beyond awesome and I look forward to reading your recaps because SYTYCD is one of my favorite shows ever! Keep up the sassy commentary!
P.S. Comfort totally sucks and needs to leave NOW!
11 of 16 | Posted by mama j | Posted on July 1, 2008 1:52 PM
TURNS NOT SPINS! I'll never get it wrong again! My apologies - unfortunately the only dance education I have is 1 semester of "Dancing with the Stars" and every semester of "SYTYCD"! Thanks for the schooling Mama J! :)
12 of 16 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on July 1, 2008 4:25 PM
LOL-well i did mean every word. I am mother of 6 kids and work full time-and after a FULL day-its nice to have something to make you laugh-seriously-Keep up the good work!!!
13 of 16 | Posted by yuds101 | Posted on July 2, 2008 12:38 AM
Is it possible Cat was wearing a shower curtain?
14 of 16 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 2, 2008 8:28 AM
I agree cattyfan! I think she must've spilled something on her first dress and right before they went live someone was like "Here - just wear this shower curtain! It looks slimming and perfect for when the dancers get their sweaty bodies all over you!"
15 of 16 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on July 2, 2008 10:31 AM
I liked how Jason said his pants were so tight you could see his exact change. And they WERE. awesome. He's my new fave.
I hope Comfort goes next week. I don't know what it is that I don't like about her. Maybe it's the schtreet vibe she gave off in the beginning, all the while her secret beauty pageant past and years of dance classes were waiting to be revealed.
16 of 16 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on July 2, 2008 4:25 PM