[by Betty White]
It’s week six of “So You Think You Can Dance” and it is two hours. Again! Another Wednesday night down the drain. Clearly it’s never going to just be a one hour show, so it’s time for me to let it go. Ok, it’s gone.
This week, we’re treated to a red slinky top from Lauren Sanchez. Very boob accentuating. We see a flash of belly too. Tramp! This week’s show comes charging out of the box American Idol style. The contestants are sitting on the couch (evoking memories of Carrie, Bo, Constantine and all the other contestants I’ve already forgotten), and Lauren is doing her best Ryan Seacrest imitation, which isn’t very good. (And that guy is bad enough doing his thing once – must we see a stupid wax statue vampire pretend to be him as well?)
Producer Nigel is wearing a blazer with a leather collar. Nice to know that the Huey Lewis circa 1983 fashion trends have been able to stick around. Lauren tells us that three million people voted by phone after last week’s episode of SYTYCD, informing us that it was more votes than the first voting week of American Idol. At first it sounds impressive, but it was less than voted to reinstate Kaysar in the Big Brother house, and they don’t mention that. Unfortunately for SYTYCD, they’ll never reach later levels of AI voting, because the show is not very good. Are they going to let us know when the number of voters goes down week after week, just like the viewership? Will Lauren Sanchez ever stop with the plastic surgery? I would answer "I doubt it" on both counts.
Just like on AI, Lauren recaps verbally (and stupidly) what the bottom six did last week. “You are safe,” she tells Artem and Michele. Now frankly, I was hoping Michele would go home, but clearly her Kelly Monaco outfit (or lack of an outfit) and gymnastic gyrations at the end of last week’s show had an affect on some members of the audience who felt compelled to dial in. We’re left with the bottom two girls and guys – Snow and Sandra, and Allan and Jonnis. Snow is standing there, waiting for the news, doing her best to look like Christina Aguilera. She almost has me fooled on the outfit (and little knit cap) alone, but those penciled-on eyebrows would give her away anywhere.
Suspense! We’re about to find out who will be cut. But first! Lauren sends us to a special Ford commercial, made just for this show, with dancing Ford dealers. It's hard to imagine that executives at Ford AND Fox thought this would be a good idea. I thank god for Tivo and move past it – quickly.
Back to the competish. Lauren’s got the bottom two girls on pins and needles. Sandra, probably sensing what is to come, starts crying before Lauren even reveals who is going home. But the tears were appropriate, because somehow, Snow escaped the hatchet and the Siberian drag queen is safe for another week. Bye bye Sandra.
This week on Fox - "When Blow Dryers Strike Back!"
Sandra manages to pull herself together, but now judge Mia is crying. Mia, we are only down to 14 dancers…we have six more weeks of this. Get yourself together. Then Mia starts this speech to Sandra about how she’s not a failure, and Sandra retorts that she doesn’t think she has failed, causing Mia to dig herself deeper into a whole, trying to rationalize why Sandra’s not a failure, but might feel like a failure. Huh? Shut up Mia! The girl feels bad enough without you trying to prolong it with your awful commentary.
Next we find out that Allan will be around for another week, and Jonnis is going home. The floodgates open. There is not a dry eye from the competitors on the couch. I, on my couch, feel nothing but slight boredom. Did the other contestants really bond with Jonnis, or are they just projecting, and figuring that it is only a matter of time before they are heading home themselves, so they are crying in anticipation? I don’t get it.
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Comments (10)
Now Betty, you coulda spared Lauren a bit of the snark. She was married this past weekend, so I'm sure she was operating on even fewer brain cells/nerve endings than typical.
This show is so horrible I can't begin to criticize. The tragedy is that a genuine dance contest could be absolutely thrilling.
Methinks Paula saw this train wreck in the making and begged off. She may be a ditz, but she ain't nobody's fool.
1 of 10 | Posted by Ed | Posted on August 28, 2005 8:53 PM
It kinda sucks that a show that is cool at heart (dancing is fun to watch - break dancers doing tha quick step = awesome) is all fucked by poor surroundings.
I do have to say...Dan's comment about M is one of the best judge critiques EVAH!
2 of 10 | Posted by zatanna | Posted on August 28, 2005 10:04 PM
What's the deal with Mary's (lack of) upper lip? Is she a Crypt Keeper?
3 of 10 | Posted by Rita Moreno | Posted on August 29, 2005 7:05 AM
I didn't know Jack Nicholson who played the Joker in the Batman movies was reprising his roles for TV!!!!
4 of 10 | Posted by Julie | Posted on August 29, 2005 8:23 AM
Heaven help us if they ever make this show into a 3-D version- I keep thinking Snow is going to run straight out of the TV into my living room as it is.
5 of 10 | Posted by laska | Posted on August 29, 2005 8:28 AM
I actually liked the Ford commercial; I thought the fat production workers writhing about in their too-tight jeans and cheap tops were MUCH more entertaining than the show itself.
Honest!
As far as all the crying we've seen so far, are dancers just wimpier overall than singers or actors or regular folk? Like that class with Mia where everyone started blubbering over nothing; what the HELL was that about? I was sure someone was going to start spouting about their "inner child" any second. Sheesh!
Btw, your pieces are always so hysterical, thanks. I so look forward to my "TVgasm" fix for my favorite reality shows. :-)
6 of 10 | Posted by Amber | Posted on August 29, 2005 11:49 AM
This is a show that definitely needs to be Tivoed. A 2 hour show can be watched in under an hour. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, get to the dancing, already!! I thought Craig's individual dance was soooo boring. He does have a killer smile, though. And Snow is scary...she looks like she would be right at home in a pointy leather bra and some stilettos. Have you been bad?? Bring me the whip, darling...
7 of 10 | Posted by TV-Eyes | Posted on August 29, 2005 12:38 PM
Did anyone else notice that only the girls were crying about Jonnis leaving. Ooh, Jonnis, you sly dog.
Snow is not the only ballroom dancer left. You forgot Artem, although I don't like him, so that's okay with me.
Allan got the most votes of the six. He wasn't in the bottom two, but was just released from the bottom three before Artem.
8 of 10 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 29, 2005 1:51 PM
Definitely could do with less chit chat and more dancing. But I like Blake...I hope he wins!
9 of 10 | Posted by Christy | Posted on August 29, 2005 2:13 PM
I just saw Jonnis and Sandra. They were special guests on that Reality Tv Chat show on TV Guide Channel. They want Ryan to win and they say that we haven't seen his full potential. He is already, in my opinion, the best dancer in this competition, so this will be awesome.
10 of 10 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 29, 2005 2:29 PM