Holla Gasmi! Dust off those tap shoes, pull that bunched-up leotard out of your ass, and keep your becdazzler handy. It's time for season five of So You Think You Can Dance (dance........dance)!
My giney just got all tingly.
We start over a montage of auditions that we'll see again over the next three shows. Cat tells us to make it through these auditions you're gonna need personality, charisma and talent. In the end, only one person can become America's favorite dancer. For the fifth time.
I've always like that they say America's favorite dancer, not the best dancer. Because we all know what happens when deciding who's the best is left up to America.

I voted for Benji!
This year we start auditions in New York. Well, Brooklyn. What's the deal with Brooklyn being all over reality TV this year? Cat's always so cute hanging out with the dancers in line.

Let's get this party started! For the Brooklyn auditions Nigel and Mary will be joined by Tabitha and Napoleon. Who names their kid Napoleon? I bet he got the crap kicked out of him in school. But I like their work as choreographers. They gave us my favorite dance of the season last year.

LOVE!
Cat tells us how the auditions will work. I think we all know by now, but in case we have any newbies, here goes......the ones the judges love will get a plane ticket to Vegas, the ones they think are good but maybe not good enough (mostly hip hop and ballroom dancers) will go to the choreography round, and the crazies will get kicked to the curb. There will also be some that are told to go back home, train more and come back again. Of those, there's usually a couple that I really hope do just that.
Up first is Gabi Rojas. She was born and raised in the circus, and she has rheumatoid arthritis. WOW. And I was just complaining about having to get my fat ass off the couch to get more food to shove into my face. Thanks for making me feel like crap, Gabi!

Nobody forced you to shove your face full of Twinkies
That was harsh, Gabi. Lucky for her she is an awesome dancer, otherwise I would have to haul myself up again and go kick her ass. Seriously? She is great. Sob story aside, I knew as soon as she started dancing that she was going straight through to Vegas. My only concern for her is whether or not she will be able to handle the grueling schedule given her arthritis. I'm definitely routing for her.

One thing that tends to irritate me on this show is how much they cut to the judges' reactions. I don't want to see Nigel or Mary's face any more than I have to. Please stop doing that and show more dancing. What I do like is that you can sometimes hear them saying "Oh!" and "Nice!"
The judges give her a standing ovation. Nigel tells her he'll be shocked if she doesn't make it into the top twenty, and it's the best audition he's seen in five years. Mary only has one thing to say.

And of course, she's through to Vegas. Told ya!
Next up are a couple of guys who look like they got into their mommies' rancid old make-up. They call themselves Storyboard-P and Hobgoblin, and they've come to share with us their new genre of Mutation. Dude, I hate to break it to you, but mutation is not a new genre.

I think I just gave myself the vapors. Yowza! Okay, sorry, back to dance. I think that when these guys start, the judges are thinking they're going to be a joke. I did too. But then they start doing their thing, and they're pretty good. My complaint, if it is one, is that I've already seen this on ABDC. Those guys called it bone-crunching, but it was basically the same idea, and done better.

Nigel thinks that they're weird. He thinks they'd be perfect if there is ever a musical version of Dawn of the Dead. You guys? Nigel might be brilliant. I would LOVE to see that shit on Broadway. A zombie musical? Yes please! The judges all think it was cool, but the overall question is can they pick up choreography and actually dance? We shall see because Nigel moves them forward to the choreography round.
And now it's time for a little crazy. Crazy Kate, that is. Kate claims to be twenty-six years old. Crazy Kate is called Crazy Kate because she is crazy about dancing.

Yeah, that's totally why.
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Comments (16)
Yay Pottymouth! Thanks for the great recap. It's like you typed up my exact thoughts dancer-by-dancer, only much funnier!
I'm definitely rooting for Natalie, who was unfairly overshadowed by Katee's drama last year. I like Brandon too -- a lot of them, actually.
I just hope that this year we get to see the progression of the dancers -- sometimes we never see them again and they're just magically not in the top 20.
Oh, yeah, and Mitch is "straight and a masculine dancer," right... Nigel was an A-hole to berate them though, especially given his own uber feminine hair and gestures.
Can't wait for the next ep and recap. I hope we get to see Joshua and Twitch and some of the other fab contestants from last year (no more Lauren, please).
XOXOXO,
Z
1 of 16 | Posted by zbird | Posted on May 24, 2009 10:19 AM
I also didn't like umbrella dancer Kellen Stancil, and also can't tell you exactly why.
Thanks for recapping the show. I love this one, even more than Idol.
Hopefully Sonya will be a choreographer [only] again this season.
2 of 16 | Posted by NatPatBen | Posted on May 24, 2009 11:04 AM
Totally with you guys on Lauren. I've never understood her appeal.
I already have this year's drinking game word picked out: intent. Dancing with intent. Blah blah blah...intent. Be sure to have your shots lined up.
Mary still hasn't learned how to pronounce "st" combinations. She continues to add an "h"...so "strength" becomes "shtrength"..."strong" becomes "shtrong." Drives. Me. Crazy.
Natalie Reid is an exceptional dancer...but won't make it very far into the top 20, because she doesn't have the body type the judges seem to prefer (the short, sawed-off thing...see Lauren for a prime example.)
I love Brandon Bryant, and will be rooting for him.
I'm relieved they're showing fewer train wrecks this season. But if they dare show that idiot who calls himself "Sex," I will be done with this show. Nigel can't berate the guy for being there (as he did last year,) then continue to exploit for ratings the creep's delusions.
As for you, PottyMouth...I love your recapping style. You mix your snark and sarcasm with genuine affection and admiration. Nice combination :)
3 of 16 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on May 24, 2009 11:10 AM
And thank you for including the picture of Hugh Jackman. I think you should do that every week...
4 of 16 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on May 24, 2009 11:11 AM
Completely disagree with you on Umbrella...I thought his story was sweet.
Was disappointed that Nina (Igor's spinning partner)did not make it
My early favorites are Brandon, Natalie, and Kayla (the girl with the sleepy grandpa)...I thought Kayla was great. While you didn't like the version, I thought she used it well and had great musicality.
5 of 16 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on May 24, 2009 1:11 PM
I agree. I don't like umbrella guy either. It seemed like he just wanted to dance with an umbrella, AND just wanted to include his sob story so he combined the story together. irritating.
The only one that stood out for me what the athritis girl. hoping to see more these next few episodes.
6 of 16 | Posted by chibby | Posted on May 24, 2009 3:17 PM
The umbrella guy? Dancing Danny Gokey.
Is this a new reality show trend- dragging out a dead loved one to work an interesting angle for the producers?
I swear, some of these people will practically drag out the body and hold it up, shaking it at the cameras.
7 of 16 | Posted by missbunnyhugs | Posted on May 24, 2009 6:57 PM
PottyMouth! I am so exciting that you are recapping this - I love your HK stuff!
Haven't even read anything yes, but I got all excited that it was you! Now, off to read!
8 of 16 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 24, 2009 8:18 PM
Great recap, Potty Mouth! I love this show and I'm so glad it's back on.
I don't remember Brandon from last year at all, which is weird because he is SO insanely good. Love him.
Also, someone should send Nigel over to Lost, because he's got daddy issues. I think maybe his daddy used to call him mean names when he was little because he liked to dance, and that's where all the "MEN SHOULD BE MEN" crap comes from.
9 of 16 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on May 24, 2009 10:45 PM
Fine recap. I recall Brandon from last year... he should have been at least in the top 20. They felt (unfairly) he was arrogant. He sure did not come off that way this time... but still insanely talented.
I'm also cheering for the arthritic circus girl.
I know I can't dance, but I've really enjoyed watching this show.
10 of 16 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 25, 2009 9:37 AM
I agree that the show includes too much reaction from the judges during the auditions. Although I really liked Sonya - she seems so earnest and such a fan herself. I don't think think she is anything like Mia (who should only choreograph and never be allowed to talk).
11 of 16 | Posted by hoboscooter | Posted on May 25, 2009 7:10 PM
Well, finally done!
Gotta say, I agree with a lot of what you said, especially about showing the judges' reactions.
Secondly, Sonya was sort of creepy. I love her choreography, but she was practically making sex noises in her chair - if I were auditioning and I got that kind of reaction, I would have been totally creeped out.
And lastly, I don't understand how Nigel can keep going ON and ON about that stupid "Men should be men, women should be women" crap. If he believes that, he really ought to work in construction. I don't know how anybody who has been a dancer and has been around dance for so long can be so homophobic.
Also, Nigel has terrible hair. Thank you.
12 of 16 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 26, 2009 2:36 AM
Another Lauren hater here. So fucking annoying. Remember when she and Dominic kissed? Ew. LoL at zbird, although I don't quite agree. I think the judges like tall girls with your typical "dancer's body." Lauren isn't even really that short, is she?
I don't really feel the umbrella hatred, but I really have no opinion on him either way. I live for this show.
13 of 16 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on May 26, 2009 4:14 AM
I've only finished about half of this episode so far, but when I saw Brandon in the preview I was so very excited. He was my #1 last year and I was so sad he didn't make it through. Beautiful dancer. I also wanted Natalie over Katee (would have prefered both of them, but like Natlalie better). Favorite new dancer this year is the girl with athritis. Wow.
14 of 16 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on May 26, 2009 12:31 PM
PottyMouth,
You write the best SYTYCD recap out there. I hope you don't mind but I posted the link to this recap on Twitter. Hopefully more SYTYCD fans will discover the genius of your writing.
It's a pleasure reading you.
No opinions on dancers yet but I hope Arielle Taylor and Kayla Radomski make the cut in Vegas.
I was disappointed that Nina Estrina (pot sticker gurl) didn't make it past choreo. She looked a lot like Paula from Hell's Kitchen.
I also was not impressed by Singin' in the Rain Man, Kellen Stancil.
15 of 16 | Posted by gerritv | Posted on May 27, 2009 11:09 AM
zbird: Thanks! Seeing the progression would be great. Too often people just show up in the top twenty that we’ve never even seen before.
NatPenBen: I’m glad I wasn’t the only one! I’m also hoping we see more of Sonya’s choreography this year.
cattyfan: You’re so very welcome. I’ll include him as many times as I can come up with an excuse to put him in there.
tv freak: I agree with you that Kayla had great musicality – I just REALLY hate that version of the song.
chibby: I’m looking forward to see who else stands out also. Keeping my fingers crossed that they leave their umbrellas at home :P
missbunnyhugs: Too true, too true. Spoiler! Tune in to the next recap for more on this subject.
georgiababe: Awww, thanks! I wish someone would tell Nigel he needs a decent haircut. The 70’s are over!
here4beer: I wonder……you may be dead on with the daddy issues thing. Considering his age, Nigel’s parents may not have been too thrilled with his dancing.
fire@will: I never understood why they thought Brandon was arrogant. I’m also hoping he makes it to the top twenty.
hoboscooter: Sonya reminds me of Mia in the way she talks, not her attitude. They both remind me of talking to someone who has just smoked a crapload of weed.
Rock Star: Ewwwww, I had scrubbed that image from my brain.
cansnuts: Wow is right. I’m really hoping she can keep up physically and get through to the top twenty.
gerritv: Thanks so much! And no, I don’t mind at all.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment – I love hearing what you all think. This week is going to be brutal with four hours worth of show to recap, but I’ll try to get it all done as soon as I can.
SWAK, PottyMouth
16 of 16 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on May 28, 2009 1:06 PM