Holla Gasmi! Wow, it's been a while, huh? I've missed you. So! Tonight is the last round of auditions for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance......dance)! I'm going to be honest here, I am fucking tired y'all. This evening we're going to have some phenomenal moments, Adam being cute as a button, a bunch of nutters, and this:

It's so nice to see her supporting blind hairdressers
Tonight we'll be traveling to L.A. and Seattle. L.A. is up first. This time Nigel and Mary are joined by Adam Shankman. I like Adam; his enthusiasm is always so infectious. Also in the theater are some of last year's top twenty, including Joshua and Katee.
Up first in tonight's show is Bianca Revels. She's a tapper who just missed making the top twenty last year. I love that all these people are coming back this year! The good ones I mean. Bianca says she was devastated last year when she didn't make it, but she's not a quitter, so she's back. And her mom flew in to support her. Say it with me now.....Awwwwwwww. I already know she's gonna be good because I remember her from last year. She doesn't disappoint.

Nigel says she's just demonstrated everything he could ever wish to say to people who are tap dancing. For him, she is the consummate tap dancer. Mary thinks she is the best female tapper they have ever had on the show. Adam thinks she's a monster up there, but in a totally good way. She's going straight through to Vegas. Wow, what's that? Like four tappers we've seem go through? I love it.
What I don't love is the next pair of dancers. They are brother and sister Brynelle and Xavier Blanton, and they are creeping me out big time. They're always going places together, and always holding hands. They seem to find it amusing that people think they're a couple.

Incest is awesome!
Xavier tells us he loves his sister. Yeah, I can see that Xavier. And it's making me feel all icky inside. He thinks they'll both get through to Vegas because they're offering something new. Xavier, I hate to break this to you, but incest has been around for a long long loooooong time. They talk about what they'll do if one of them makes it to Vegas but not the other, but I've tuned them out because I know there's no way in hell they are going through.

Any questions?
They are beyond fucking awful. Stumbling around, flailing about. Awful. Nigel thought it was very very strange. Mary tells them that being childlike and goofy can work as long as it's layered on top of technique which this was not. Nigel asks about their training, and Xavier says he danced at the West Side School of Ballet, but the real issue is that he was so full of emotion (translation: he had a hard on), he couldn't really move. Gross. He's fine if he goes home because this competition has brought him and his sister closer together. How much closer could they fucking get?!?
Nigel moves on to Brynelle who tells Nigel she has been dancing since she was four. But were you taking lessons, or just dancing with your creepy brother in the basement? Nigel says she's still dancing like she's four. It's a no from all of them, so off they go into the sunset to do whatever it is they do behind closed doors. Buh-Bye!
As we head into a commercial, Cat gives us a run down of what's coming up. Ummm. I think my head just exploded. This show is going to seriously piss me off tonight. Wanna know why?

WHY?
Back from commercials, we go to Debra Lawson. I honestly can't tell if she's serious or just wants to be on TV. Whatever she is, it's not good.

Would someone please get me a cheeseburger?
Nigel says she has to take movements and lines that suit her and her shape, not try to dance the way a taller, thinner person would. But it sounds like she has a bigger issue. An issue with her religion. I don't even know what she's trying to say here. She's talking about Judaism and performing on the Sabbath and how she might have to perform in front of men, which is not allowed. BUT SHE JUST DID THAT!!! Then she says that that's the extreme orthodox version and she needs to decide if that's the way she wants to go. I want to believe she's for real and not just trying to get more face time on TV, but the cynic in me wants to jump right to calling bullshit on this.
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Comments (19)
Page 3, chick in the blue top with the scarf that they showed a snippet off (and her with a ticket).... i believe she made it to vegas last year as well and remember her being quite good. anyways, i was expecting more out of this episode since it's the last of the auditions. (remember last year they had the "best of the best" that they taked on at the end and that's how we met Katee and her roommate?) early favorite is still Brandon who lost out to Gev last year, but then again I really wanted him last year too, so maybe I'm slightly biased. Glad to see so many familiar faces and glad that there will be a fall season as well.
1 of 19 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on June 1, 2009 1:02 PM
I share your love of Adam Shankman. His natural effervesence even made the young woman he was partnering a better dancer. Plus everything about him is natural and spontaneous...unlike the Mia and Sex crap later in the show.
By the way...why did Mia dye Adam Lambert's hair blond? It doesn't look good on either of them.
Nathan the 17 year-old is spectacular, but will benefit from better choreography (his was repetative.)
Mr. Nasty needs a psychiatrist and some meds. He obviously has a personality disorder...and probably beats his girlfriend if she looks at him "wrong."
As for Sex...Sex isn't something that should make people sick, so I think that creep needs to be forced via court injunction from using the word as his name.
I remember Nigel last year berating said creep for showing up year after year and taking up valuable time. But Nigel once again took up the viewers' valuable time showing us this delusional idiot. And now I have to keep my promise...which was if they showed the creep again, I would stop watching.
So, I'll be relying on your expert recaps for the rest of this season.
And Hugh Jackman makes me feel better, too. Hotness...thy name is Hugh.
2 of 19 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 1, 2009 1:08 PM
Adam was so great this episode! He made me lol so many times. The best part (which I can't believe you missed!) was when they showed his info on the bottom of the screen as they do with most dancers. His age was "21ish" Rotflol.
My favorites this episode were Sammy and Phillip, with Phillip as my top pick.
I agree with you all on Sex, except that I loved him getting sent to choreography (feel bad for his partner though). I thought it was a great, much-needed wake-up call. Hopefully, he won't be back next year.
Great Recap
3 of 19 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 1, 2009 1:29 PM
Love your recaps...Hugh Jackman is the icing on the cake!
4 of 19 | Posted by aniglo | Posted on June 1, 2009 2:23 PM
PottyMouth -- this was soooo bad it made me laugh hysterically: " That bitch stole my moooooooves"
Nastypants! Sounds like my long-lost brother!
Your recaps are absolutely hilarious! I read this one before watching the show and now I've got to go watch it. I wonder if they focus on the idiots just to lure in more audience? Kind of like how I love to watch American Idol's idiots but the show itself is just kind of meh for me.
Gotta go get my dance (dance dance) on!
5 of 19 | Posted by FancyPants | Posted on June 1, 2009 3:02 PM
Anyone else think Mia's been going to the same hairstylist as that crazy loon from Jon & Kate Plus 8 (or is it Joe & Kate? Cheater & Loon Plus Eleventy?)
6 of 19 | Posted by FancyPants | Posted on June 1, 2009 3:06 PM
Thanks for another great recap.
I pretty much liked the same people you did, but didn't always share your dislikes (at least not to the same degree). Some of those people need couseling... but the main blame for them getting so much air time is the producers (who are simply trying to attract the greatest numbers of viewersviewers?) Sad, but that is the way it is.
7 of 19 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 1, 2009 3:10 PM
hey- Sex's partner got a ticket to Vegas (I checked for her, since I thought it was totally unfair for them to saddle anyone with him as a partner).
I also have a small burning rage for Mia left over from last year, since she was such a huge bitch to what'shername that the poor girl quit the show. I'm not much of a fan any more.
8 of 19 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on June 1, 2009 4:11 PM
Great recap again. I think "Sex" has a mental deficiency of some sort. Even the creepy Ukranian seemed more on the ball, and why else would a 35-year-old guy have to drag his mother everywhere? That said, I agree: why, oh why, give airtime to him? It's just cruel.
And thanks, here4beer, for reminding me why, in spite of her talent, I am not a Mia fan either.
9 of 19 | Posted by Allison | Posted on June 1, 2009 4:58 PM
I've told you before and I'll tell you again Pottymouth: Your recaps always echo my exact sentiments, only about a million times funnier. I kid you not -- I have almost the exact same reaction to every dancer as you do. I love, love, love and get misty eyed at times (because really, in my heart of hearts, I'm a softy and so are you!) I hate hate hate and get annoyed right along with you too -- including he who must not be named and his enabling mother. Ugh. He gives sex a bad name.
Thanks again for taking 1 (hundred) for the team and recapping this!
10 of 19 | Posted by zbird | Posted on June 1, 2009 9:22 PM
here4beer-Mia didn't make her quit, she had 2 broken ribs. Also, all the judges were so fucking mean to her.
Does anyone else think there are so many "so close to making it last year" people that they may not even pick a single new auditionee to be in the top 20?
11 of 19 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on June 1, 2009 9:25 PM
I agree with zbird. PottyMouth, it's like you read my mind.
Except, I thought that the Sex/Leo battle was hysterical - I laughed so hard I almost cried. I know that Sex is an idiot and I do wish that the producers would just ban him and show us more of the good dancers. But, they didn't, so I just took it for what it's worth and cackled like a hyena.
Also, Mark was my absolute favorite last year, so I was super happy about Pono - he reminds me so much of Mark, with his quirkiness and his musicality. He also wore a low v-neck t-shirt, which Mark wore last year and he hails from Hawaii, just like Mark. I also saw a slight similarity in the hair and facial features, but perhaps I'm just delusional.
Can't wait for Vegas!
12 of 19 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 1, 2009 10:43 PM
Also, I love love LOVE Adam Shankman, Tyce is a douche, Mia's bitchy and Mary and Nigel are still super annoying.
That is all.
13 of 19 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 1, 2009 10:44 PM
"Sex" wouldn't be there without the producer's (ie Nigel's) approval. IIRC, the upper age limit is 30 and he is 35 - so he should be refused an audition based on his age alone, not to mention his complete lack of talent! So he is exploiting them as much as they are him.
I love Mia, Adam, Sonya and Lil C, find Nigel creepy and think Mary is very knowledgable but hard on the ears.
I am really looking forward to this years shows but your recaps are the icing on the cake!
14 of 19 | Posted by Pikey578 | Posted on June 2, 2009 3:28 AM
You're doing an excellent job with these recaps, Potty Mouth! You have just the right of amount of sarcasm mixed with love.
15 of 19 | Posted by angiemarie | Posted on June 2, 2009 12:20 PM
@ Rock Star- you're right, Mia didn't "make" her quit, and all the judges WERE complete assholes to her (wish I could remember her name!). But whatever Mia said took it to the next level. It was something along the lines of (to the girl's partner),
"Too bad you were saddled with such an awful partner, because she's just bringing you down. I wish people could see you without this GIANT PIECE OF DANCING DOODOO standing next to you."
I'm paraphrasing a bit.
16 of 19 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on June 2, 2009 4:41 PM
her name is Jessica King...and she didn't deserve the hate and nastiness they heaped on her week after week.
17 of 19 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 2, 2009 5:26 PM
She certainly didn't. While I wasn't a huge fan of hers, I was totally disgusted at the amount of shit that she got dumped on her last season, while they creamed their pants repeatedly over Will, who actually bored me to tears.
Poor Jessica. She was a great dancer, she just became cannon fodder. Idol does that, I find (ahem, never giving Allison/Anoop/Matt proper accolades) but SYTYCD started doing that last year. It's wrong and disgusting.
18 of 19 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 3, 2009 11:00 PM
cansnuts: I’m biased about Brandon too. I really wanted him to make it last year and was annoyed when he didn’t get through.
cattyfan: LMAO @ Mia with Hambert’s hair! I wish I had thought of that first!
tv freak: I can’t believe I tuned out the 21ish!! I got lost in enjoying him I guess.
aniglo: Thanks!
FancyPants: I couldn’t resist it. I have a weird love for bad jokes.
fire@will: Yeah, I have a tendency to have strong feelings and opinions (I know I hide it well). Completely agree that the producers are mostly to blame. I just wish they’d refrain and show more of the good people. It would make people realize just how tough some of those decisions must be. (Now stepping down from my soapbox)
here4beer: Phew! Thanks for being on the lookout for that! More on Mia soon!
Allison: I absolutely agree.
zbird: Thanks so much. And I am NOT a softy. Nope. Not me. Uh uh.
Rock Star: There are definitely a ton of people coming back. It will be interesting to see how many familiar faces we see in the top twenty.
georgiababe: I think if I could have gotten past my blinding rage I may have been able to see the humor in it, but I was soooooo mad. Fifteen minutes they wasted on that crap! They could have shown a ton of good auditions in that time. Oops! There I go again!
Pikey578: I completely agree. Listen, I think the guy has mental problems, but my bigger issue is with the producers wasting time on him and similar crap. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I don’t enjoy watching the psychos released on a day pass from the asylum.
angiemarie: Thank you so much! I do love the show and I’m glad that shows.
here4beer, cattyfan, georgiababe: I’m not going to add too much – you guys have covered this well. I will add an amen and say it never sat right with me how the judges (Mia was the worst, but they all did it) would bash Jessica while verbally fellating Will. She wasn’t my favorite, but there is a difference between constructive criticism and abuse.
I have MUCH more to say a bout Mia coming soon. You guys rock! I love reading your comments; you make my day. I’m working on the next recaps and will have them up as soon as I can.
SWAK, PottyMouth
19 of 19 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 5, 2009 3:33 AM